Depression. Anyone who has dealt with it......?

Question

Looking for a few more opinions on this. Just looking for a few more opinions. How has it affected your relationships? Do you find it difficult to communicate with the people in your life that you love the most, and find yourself cutting them out of your life? More specifically, have you had to end a relationship because of it, but couldn't bring yourself to communicate any further with that person even if they were offering support and help?? I've found myself in this situation, and don't know what to do to help him. I'm trying to be a friend to him, but he's not very responsive to me and I don't know if I should leave him be or keep offering support and letting him know I am there so he knows that I haven't abandoned him. I'm just having a hard time trying to figure out his unresponsiveness. He doesn't seem to want anything to do with me

I'm trying to be patient. We were going out for about 3 months when he told me it wouldn't work out for now because he had to fix things in his life so he could be happy. This all happened about 6 months ago. Still has not given a definite answer on the relationship, he just doesn't know what will happen. I've been offering support as a friend, and every once in a while I write an email to see how he's doing and to let him know I am there. Some he responds to, some he doesn't. He did respond to me last week, a few days after I had sent him an email encouraging him to get help. He said things have been painful and agonizing, and that the help he is getting isn't enough because his mind is still really uncomfortable. He plays in a band, and said that's all he really needs but everything else in his life still seems to be a disaster. I'm just looking for any input on his situation and what, if anything, I should do. I don't want to give up on him.....

Answer 1

Okay I deal with it from his standpoint. i had the exact same situation. once i finally realized that depression was the big cause of everything that was bad in my life and my failed relationships, i told the guy i was seeing that i was sorry and that i really wanted to work on myself so i could finally give my all to someone and have a chance not to mess it up. that was winter.

since then, i've been in therapy and on anti-depressants, but it takes a long time to change a life for the better...

i'd say let him go his way. it hurts yeah, but for the both of you its probably better now. if its really meant to be, the opportunity will come around again.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are focusing a lot of attention on this. He already expressed to you how he feels and what he wants. And you need to respect that.

If he doesn't answer one email but another...instead of saying "Why didn't he answer the other one..?" Say "I'm glad he at least answered one." You putting very high expectations on him and he seems in no way able to begin to meet them.

You have to think about what this is doing to you...because it's actually not happening to you...this is about him. If you can't stop trying to have him meet your needs then he is better off without you as a friend.

Friends who support don't try to force friends to do things they aren't ready to do. If your still asking about the relationship 6 months after he's told you he needs to be alone you are not respecting him as a friend let alone a lover.

He is where he is and there isn't anything you can really do to change that. Being with him is the only thing he wants but you saying "He;s not doing this...and he has no answers for that..." Your lucky he hasn't cut ties off all together.

People are dillusioned about their roles in life. We absolutely have NO power over how someone else feels or goes through a process. We can only control ourselves and what we do or don't do. You are trying to force him to do things to meet your needs...this is what you should be examining...not his inability to meet them.

Why do you feel this way? What causes this feeling to begin? How does it tranfer into an action like emailing every week? What is in this for you? Because he is not in a position to help you...you have to help yourself...just like him. How you can really help him - look into yourself first and the rest will fall into place.

Answer 3

I have bi-polar disorder, which consists of both depression and mania(ups-and downs!). If he doesn't seek therapy, and counsleing, get medicated(if needed), on his own then really there is no hope for getting better! These things don't just go away! Thats nice that you want to be a friend to him, and be supportive, but, theres nothing you can say or do to change him or the decisions he's makeing!! Have you noticed any addictions(such as alcohol, meth, weed, etc.)? A person affected by such disorders and illnesses of the brain often SELF-MEDICATE themselves, especially if they are not medicated by a phsycyatrist. When theiur feeling up they want to come down, when their feeling down they want to come up. Often these drugs will have the opposite effect on them as well!! My advice to you is, if you run accross him say hi, whatever, but quit going out of your way(no offense), he's sick and you can't help him. For your own health and happiness, move on!! One thing I will say though, (because I'm the kind of person who won't let a person hurt themselves while I'm around) If ever you find that you are in the situation of haveing the knowledge this person is going to hurt themselves(like suicide attempts) thenb call your local mental health dept. and tell them you know of someone who is threatening to kill themselves, that's all then let them handle it!
Otherwise, it's time to move on, be a friend(if you must) from a healthy distance!! Good luck to him, and you!!!

Answer 4

I'm sorry about that.Depression suck and is a very bad stage in the person life. In this country many suffers from depression.If you live in a small town chances are the stage is higher than other states.I never was depress when I was in living in New York City.Now, my home is in a small town in Texas and some times the blue hit me hard.Music,driving,thinking are for me good remedies. Not pills.

Answer 5

Then don't.......continue to give him his space....and be undersatnding....THAT's what he really needs. He'll need someone or some place to run to at some point.....make sure your door is open. However, don't put your romantic life on hold....don't forget to count your happiness as well.