I am going to my 18 year old cousins engagement party today. She and her fiancee are the same age. Neither of them have jobs and they are both just starting college! Their 'plan' is to get married in a year. His family is encouraging this marriage (probably because she is a great catch and he well, not so much) and her family (myself included) is against it. I know she loves him but he is the most immature inconsiderate socially constipated male that I have ever known! Did I mention he was homeschooled and doesn't have any manners or social skills??? Ahhhhh I want to be supportive but come on!
2007-07-28 03:56:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
As far as being home schooled, I am not saying that it makes a person 'bad' but look at the studies on children that are home schooled and their lack of social skills.
2007-07-28 04:10:09 · update #1
What is your family doing???
This girl is way too young to be getting married. First, neither of them have jobs. That Red Flag Number 1 that there marriage will be a struggle from the beginning.
Setting up a married household takes a lot of time,. dedication and MONEY.
Without money how do they plan to live. I understand most newlywed couples struggle in the beginning. But, it's much different if your struggling a little bit w/ a full time job and a college degree behind you. Your struggle won't be premanment.
You cousin and fiance don't have a fighting chance. They are setting themselves up for failure, big time. If they plan on getting married, they should be working full-time. If say school is more important, then it is. But, they are not ready for marriage.
Your cousin's parents (your aunt and uncle) should be slapping the sense into your cousin.
Honestly, I have a cousin who's a bit older. I love her to death, but she does not have a job and does not go to school. She does have a loser boyfriend. If they decided to get married, I would not be part of the celebrations.
I won't want to encourage the failure of someone I love.
2007-07-28 05:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
More than likely they will get married no matter what anyone says so the best thing you can do is give positive advice that will HELP them. Encourage them to get jobs & start saving now. See if they are looking into premarital counseling. If not, go to a bookstore & buy a couple books on marriage for them to read through together. Don't let them bail out on college to get a full-time job with intentions of going back later-they will regret it! Just try to be encouraging & helpful to them in this next year & see what happens. They may really step up & surprise everyone.
2007-07-28 07:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid this one isn't one that any outsider can decide.
* They're both legally of age to marry
* They're older than many or most people have been over past centuries as far as marrying is concerned
* They at least want to do things in an appropriate way
* They're obviously serious about it
Whatever reservations some of us may have about home education, the fact that someone is home-educated shouldn't rule them out as a potential marriage partner. The guy clearly has enough "social skills" to hook the girl in question.
Your reservations are personal -- but offer them your very best wishes and even if the guy does appear a bit boorish, try to be as nice to him as possible. You never know, he may improve as you get to know him better or encourage him.
2007-07-28 04:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a year is a long time, so who knows, maybe when they both go to college they will realize marriage isnt for them or maybe she will see how he really is and they won't get married. If they do last, maybe they are in love, and its nobodies business to tell them otherwise.
Just be supportive of her, and her decisions. Your family.
2007-07-28 04:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by catrina230 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's not much you can do, unfortunately. Sometimes you have to just watch as someone walks backwards towards a big open hole, and not say anything. It's tough. Anything you do or say at this point is probably going to backfire to some degree. All you can do is show a moderate to mild support, while subduing your doubts.
2007-07-28 04:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by Derail 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on the way they both feel about each other i would not support it being that they are so young and statistics show that people who get married at a younger age it dosnt last that long but really its up to them in my opinion
2007-07-28 16:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by babygurl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The basic answer to this is:
Be there to pick up the pieces when it breaks.
Until then support her. If she asks your opinion give it honestly but tactfully, but until then all you can do is love her and wish her the best. She is going to need it.
2007-07-28 06:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok lets lokk at afew things here first. has any of her family sat down and talked to her one on one to see if this is really the direction she wants to take? If this has happened and this is really what she wants and yo uwant to be supportive of her then I would hold my tongie and attend. Remember by attenting you are supporting her and her decisions and telling her wht she is doing is ok. good luck
2007-07-28 05:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by okcsparkles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your frustration here.
The best you can do is go and wish her well. If he really is the horrible person you say, hope that she will discover it on her own sooner rather than later. The more you try to discourage her, the more you will push her to be with him.
Good luck.
2007-07-28 04:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just cannot see that working out. I would give them 3 years max.
2007-07-28 04:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋