no one is begging for money every wedding i have gone to has had it, and its only 1 dollar, and it is the bride and grooms wedding if you dont like how the wedding is going then just leave, i was online getting tips for my wedding and i just got sick of everyone stating what is right and wrong, it is the bride and groom's day they can do what ever they want unless you are planning a traditonal wedding, im sure ill get a lot of negative comments on this subject, also most of the people that are there should be there to help celebrate the most important day of your life, not to get free food and booze and to judge what is tacky in your jugmental mind.
2007-07-28 03:11:24 · 14 answers · asked by Mrs ACO 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it's tacky at all IF it is actually part of your culture. Some people think it's tacky because they aren't familiar with the history behind it and couldn't be bothered to realise there are other traditions besides the ones they use. The weddings I've been to that have dollar dances the guests don't bring gifts because the dollar dance is their gift so many above posters show their ignorance of the practice right there.
The problem is there are a few greedy couples who hear about them and decide it would be a great way to milk their guests for more money and suddenly have it at their wedding with no idea about the culture traditions behind it. Its those couples that give it a bad name and make it "tacky".
My HTB's family has a tradition of the dollar dance. My family does not, so from my family's point of view the dollar dance would be tacky and me trying to grub for money. Instead we will do the dollar dance but instead of keeping the money whatever gets pinned on us will go to charity. Tradition honored, nobody offended.
2007-07-28 04:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I too live in NY and I have only seen the dollar dance at a wedding once. It was an out of state wedding. I never even heard of it before that. You give the bride/and or groom a dollar to dance with them. I think it is weird but I guess it is not horrible. As for the "getting free food and booze" you are inviting people to a party. You feed them and provide them with drinks. This is what is done when you are the host of a party. If they came to your house for a bbq - you wouldn't have a cover charge or someone standing at the cooler charging per beer right? Then why on earth would you do this at a wedding? You are being a very ungracious host by expecting people to pay for their drinks. They came to support you and they bought you a gift. The least you can do is buy them a drink.
2007-07-28 11:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never seen one at a wedding and it sounded tacky. Read the tradition originated in Poland, and it purpose was to make sure the bride and groom had want they needed. Changed my opinion after reading about it and realized I was judgmental. It think if it is traditional and expected then it is not tacky or I think it is a good idea to explain the tradition to those who do not know and have never seen it.
Most people view the asking for money during a wedding as tacky and do not realize this is a traditional part of the wedding is some cultures.
2007-07-28 11:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never seen this done at a wedding. I have only heard of it from on-line sites like this one. My personal feeling, based on what I have read, is that it sounds inappropriate. Why would you ask someone who has already spent a good deal of money on you to give you even more. If a person needs the extra money for the wedding then they should cut costs somewhere else. That being said, it is your wedding and you have a right to run it however you wish. If your circle of family and friends have no issue with this, then by all means do it. My suggestion is that you not worry about people's negative comments and focus on what you and your intended want. There will be enough irritations without focusing on the opinions of people you don't even know. Best of luck to you, whatever you chose to do.
2007-07-28 11:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by Kim C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easy there! No need to get your hackles up over this. If you asked on line, you have to be ready to accept that people will not just agree with you. You were asking for tips and people were trying to steer you in the right direction. Unfortunately, people are not always polite about their answers.
I agree with Luv2. I consider the dollar dance tacky and it comes across as being greedy. That's not a good image for you and your new husband.
You will get some people who are just there to "get free food and booze", but the people who truly care have taken the time to purchase wedding gifts, cards, special attire, pay for a babysitter, put money in the card, and give of their time to be with you. This is not a competition as to who spent the most money.
Bottom line, it is your day and you are free to do as you choose. Just keep in mind that others are free to their opinions as well. Try to be considerate of your guests as well as your wishes.
2007-07-28 10:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that before you get so defensive you should keep an open mind yourself. I have been to over 20 weddings and never seen a dollar dance. In my circle of family and friends it would be considered extremely tacky, cheap and childish. I live in the northeast so I am assuming that perhaps in other parts of the country this is not the case and that it is a popular tradition. I respect the difference and don't chastise people who do it.
2007-07-28 10:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think that the money dance is great -- I actually like it -- it was the only opportunity I had for a personal interaction with my brothers and a couple good friends when they got married. My mom wasn't sure about having one for our wedding -- felt like it was asking people for money -- but I said the same thing, that they don't have to get up and share if they don't want to. And it was SO nice -- it paid for almost all of our food on our honeymoon. We were pretty grateful. And like I said, I like the personal interaction with the guests. I think that in general, there is an assumption that people like to help out a new, young couple.
-note: I may think it was tacky if they were older, established adults and it wasn't their first wedding.
2007-07-28 11:13:25 · answer #7 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! You must of gotten some bad comments, you seem bitter. But anyways, I find nothing tacky about it. My family does this same thing too, it's kind of tradition. And usually a lot of people participate in the dollar dance. I find nothing wrong with it - it's optional for the guests to do. Probably most families have some sort of thing or game or whatever to help the bride & groom get some money to help pay for their wedding, honeymoon, & household items. It's your wedding, do what you want & ignor others comments.
2007-07-28 10:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by tanner 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I have been to several weddings and had to google this to find out what is was. I find it extremely tacky. Of course you're begging for money if you do it...if you weren't payment of the fee would be optional. The sites I looked at said that the custom was started to help offset the cost of the wedding. These people have already bought a gift, possibly traveled great distances, and took time out of their schedules to come to your wedding and now you want them to pay for the privilege of dancing with you??? Unbelievable
2007-07-28 10:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by aly_des 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I live in New York and have been to tons of weddings and only heard of the dollar dance from Yahoo Answers...maybe because I've never seen one, what I'm picturing in my head is extremely tacky...but I can't say for sure since I've never seen one!
2007-07-28 10:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋