Why am I afraid to leave the Mormon church?

Question

I can't explain how indifferent I am about the religion - I just don't care. It's neither positive, or negative. And I haven't even stepped into a church in 5 years!
I just want my name off their records, but I'm afraid to do so.
Suggestions?

Answer 1

I went through the same exact thing.

After coming back from my mission, I think I attended church like at most another 10 times. After the last sunday I attended I knew I was certain in my disbelief in the LDS church. I believed I had come to a rational, logical conclusion.... but for some reason it took me another year and a half to remove my name. I had written the letter like 7 times but threw it away. I think it's just that lingering fear that takes a bit of time to go away. You have to continually reaffirm your decision.

It's like when you're taking a math exam and you're nervous. So you work through a problem without any real trouble. You know you did every step correctly (at least as to what you remember) and your answer makes perfect sense.... BUT.... you're still nervous about the answer and probably go over it another 5 times (with the same answer as the result)... As you know that worry stays with you all the way until you get your graded test back, but with time it starts to wane.

From time to time I think about the church and if I made the right decision. If I humor the argument, I find that I come to the same answer as I did 3 years ago: that the church is false and I'm better off without it. (But that lingering fear is still there no matter how small it is). Maybe it will never go away but only continue to get smaller and smaller as time passes.

Seeing as you don't have any "negative" feelings about the church, you may want to just keep your name on the records. What could it hurt right? (You're just keeping the status quo instead of incorporating change).

I decided to officially leave because, unlike what you've stated, I had awful, resentful feelings towards the church (and many of its members that I knew) and those feelings got worse the longer I was in the church. I decided that a waning fear is better for me than a growing animosity.

Whatever you chose, best of luck.
Email me if you need any support.
[e-mail]

Answer 2

It sounds like being a member of the church isn't doing you any good. However nothing will change in your life if you do take your name off the records so why worry about it? If you feel guilty for breaking some of the commandments, that will not change with your name removed. I hope you can feel in your heart to just let it ride the way it is and wait if you do not hate the church then its OK to stay a member even if you don't go to church or practice any of the little things like the word of wisdom. You would never get re baptized if you take your name off the records however when you are old and with out companionship you may enjoy the fellowship if it didn't take much to go back. I would suggest you just leave it the way it is.

Answer 3

You're afraid for a number of reasons. 1.) what if they are right? 2.) once you ask to be removed, they will surely spend a lot of time and energy trying to convince you to stay. 3.) many of the members of the LDS Church will treat you as an outcast.

It's never fun to quit anything. Especially a religion. But if you're questioning your faith, you should try spending some time alone, pray for the truth, and eventually you will find it. It may not be LDS, or maybe it is. For me it wasn't. I attended for 6 months, was baptised and received a calling. Then all of a sudden I felt very uncomfortable. I began noticing that during Sacrement and Lessons, they used their Book of Mormon as the first book, and the Bible as a reference. This upset me. So I left. It was hard to do, but I did it anyway.

Answer 4

Are you afraid that they will ask you why you want
your name off their records and afraid they will
try to talk you out of it?
First, find out why you want your name off.
Also figure out more of what you are looking for -
don't think of a certain name of an organization or
belief system, but only the characteristics you would
like or would have liked! Be free!
It's all right to take with you the good values you
did learn as well! I hope this helps.
Please keep seeking God, though, we need
God more than a congregation - He is
the one who ultimately saves - not a congregation -
though others teach us.
Does that help a little?

Answer 5

I honestly don't know anything else to tell you than to just go with the way that you feel. If you honestly do not feel that it is the path that you need to take, then discover the path that is.
I'm LDS, and I know that the religion is for ME, but I never presume to tell anyone else that the way they believe is any less valid.
If you truly want your name removed from the records of the church - ask for it.
May you find what it is you are searching for, and may God guide your steps in this life and always.
If you want to talk, email me - I will listen.

Answer 6

Maybe there's a part of you that still feels an identity attachment to the Mormon faith. It could also be a sense of family issues that cloud your judgment. Nobody wants to be shamed by people they love. Do you have another church that you are interested in? Maybe that will help ease the transition. Get your head straight first, then make the move when you feel confident. Good luck.

Answer 7

Since you havent been a practicing Mormon in 5 years..start SHOPPING AROUND for a new church by going to a local Presbyterian church for a month..then visit a baptist church for a month...then a Methodist church.. then a Lutheran..then even try some Evangelical Praise and worship type churches...SHOP!!! like you would an automobile.... you dont know where youre going therefore you dont know how to leave...When most people get dis satisfied with their church they shop around UNTIL they find one they like then transfer membership...Or in your case cancel their membership with the last one and then sign up for membership in the new one....Once you find a new church you like ..go talk to the preacher and ask HOW to get youor Morman membership cancelled...Good luck hope this answers your question...

Answer 8

Have no fear! I do not know the reason why you stopped attending the Mormons meetings, but I assure you, salvation does not come in groups, it is an individual reward that comes from our Heavenly Father. You must use the Bible as your authority to gain accurate knowledge of the Truth. Start by concentrating on the love you have for your Heavenly Father, above all, and do not forget Jesus' sacrifice for us. Rebuilt you spiritual armor and persevere. After Armageddon, everything will be sorted out. There would be no more religion, just God and his wonderful creation.

Answer 9

Well the Mormons have set up a network to make sure you don't fall away, you know the visitiing teachers and then those men that come once a month to. I never felt liek I belonmged tho, I ffelt liek the mormon chruch was dead and I was always siucidal, so I left, goto www.ex-mormon.org, for instructions on how to get your name removed, once you are ready to do it.

Answer 10

I have some experience with this. When my stepson was about 11 years old he became friends with a Mormon boy in his school. He was a nice boy from a nice family. He started attending services with them. This led to him eventually joining LDS. It was actually very good for him. They had a lot of activities for young people and even had their own scout troop. I went on several camping trips with them. They were nice enough people - not the monsters some make them out to be. The problem came when he was about to turn 18. They were telling him he had to start preparing for his "mission". For those of you not familiar with the Mormon faith, all young men after graduating high school are expected to give 2 years of their life recruiting members for the church. They call them Elders, and they are assigned to a city somewhere, not of their choice, and bang on doors all day long. He did not want to do this. They became very insistent, to the point of coming to our home and doing everything short of calling my wife and I bad parents. It was at this time he decided to quit going to their church. That's when it really hit the fan. They started calling 2 or 3 times a week and had people coming to our house all hours of the day. I tried my best to be polite, but they just wouldn't stop. I finally had to say some really nasty and rude things and even threaten to have them arrested for trespassing. That stopped the home visits, but the phone calls persisted for over a year. He is now 25 and on his own. We still get an occasional phone call trying to track him down. I just hang up on them. I don't think they ever stop looking for their "lost sheep". My advice to you would be to be very clear of your intentions and even be rude to them if you have to.