My really good friend of 10 years is getting married and she has a matron of honor and 2 maids of honor. I am one of those maids. I wasn't offended at first but lately I've been thinking about it and I feel like maybe it was an insult to my friendship. What are your ideas?
2007-07-28 01:58:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
your thinking is wrong. Be happy she has chosen you as on of her maids of honor. Share the responsiblitly happily. Don't be selfish cause it's all about your friend getting married, not about your feelings.
It's a plus cause you can divide the duties equally and this will cause less stress for you in the long run...
2007-07-28 04:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by ♥poppy honey♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Believe it or not, I think that being insulted would actually be an insult to her. This is her big day and you should be supportive of the difficult choices you have to make as a bride, when it should be just all about her.
Dont get me wrong, I dont want to tell you off, no I can understand why you'd feel upset, but put it this way.
I am getting married next year and....
traditionally the sister is supposed to be the maid of honour.. so that's 1
My sister-in-law is like my best friend in the whole world and I cant imagine her not a maid of honour so that's 2
and I have 4, yes count them FOUR really really close girlfriends who I have been friends with for years and who have all helped me through dark times etc etc and me them.
AND, also , I have that personality that I feel guilty really easily. These 6 women I love all pretty much equally and I dont want to offend them by saying to some of them they cant be my bridesmaids..!
I'm sure your friend loves you and values your friendship as much as you do, but when it comes to a wedding, so many variables and choices come flying at you that you could never have expected.
A wedding is NEVER about the bride and groom, its always about the family and friends and appeasing them. The honeymoon is about the bride and groom.
I hope this helped.
2007-07-28 02:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ms_S 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you're looking for a reason to be offended. Stop it. Your friend feels very close to three different women and decided to honor them all. Would you be insulted if you weren't an honor attendant, but 'just' a bridesmaid? How about if you were 'only' a guest?
My idea is that you should stop looking for offenses against you and start concentrating on helping your friend have the best wedding possible. It's her big day, and she has chosen you to stand by her side. That's an honor to your friendship. Recognize it and enjoy it. Don't look for hidden insults that don't exist.
2007-07-28 05:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There can be more than one maid of honor IF you are a maid and the other is a matron. Maid means unmarried and matron of honor means the woman is married. If however she is having 2 unmarried women (maids of honor) then that is not right. I would immediately call her and ask her if it is true. Is the other woman a matron of honor or also a maid? There should only be 1 maid of honor and 1 matron of honor or just one of either.
2016-05-21 00:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My niece had this dilemma when she married several years ago...two very close friends...and didn't want to show favoritism to either. So she made both matrons of honor (both were married). Then she a 2 junior bridesmaids and a flower girl. Both of the MOH worked together to do the showers and 'duties'. Everything went smooth and was a lovely, stress free wedding!
Don't be upset...cherish your friendship and the honor position the bride has given you. You have been friends so long...stay friends!
Have fun and help your friend celebrate her day.
2007-07-28 02:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by Patty O 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
from what I recall of the maid of honor and matron is that the "matron" is a woman that is already married and the "maid" of honor is not. Like others have I'm sure said be honored that she asked you, no I don't think you should be insulted.
2007-07-28 02:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be insulted at all, but it's really rude to have done this. She probably thought she ws doing a 'good' thing by not choosing only one, but she hasn't! There is ONE position - either a maid OR a matron. The rest are bridesmaids.
2007-07-28 11:09:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have experience with this. When my hubby and I got married 7 years ago, I had two maids of honor and he had two best men. It is an honor (no pun intended) to be chosen even if others were chosen as well. It's wonderful to have a friend who is so well liked that she has so many close friends she can't chose between them. Weddings are so damn stressful, don't give her any more...please! Just be there for her.
2007-07-28 03:35:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think it strange to have 3 maids/matron of honor, but no you shouldn't be offended. She might have done it in an effort to not offend anyone.
2007-07-28 04:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by Crys 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be offended. I just went to a wedding where the bride had her two sisters as matrons of honor. The groom was relieved when she decided to do this because it meant that he didn't have to choose between his two best buds. He had two best men. It worked and all was well.
2007-07-28 04:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋