I'm christian and my finance is Muslim, can we get married by both religions?

Question

We been together for 5 years and our family does not approve us! How can we have a wedding where everyone is happy?

Answer 1

OOO my mom's friend is from a Muslim family and her husband is Christian. They actually had two weddings to honor each other's personal beliefs, and also their families. This is something you'd have to discuss with your respective clerics to decide the best way to approach this without doing something that would be seen as offensive.

If you are both of different faiths, I'm assuming you're also of different cultural ethnic backgrounds. My fiance and I are like that as well, and the best thing you can do is try to respect each other's faiths and heritages. Do some "mix and matching" of customs-- incorporate food, music, traditional clothing, etc into your reception for example.

For the weddings, decide between yourselves how you want to do that. Is he very religious? Try to honor that. Are you? Honor that as well. I think that in all religions, there are different ways of doing wedding ceremonies without getting into too much nitty gritty details-- I know that is true because of how many more intercultural and interfaith marriages are occurring. You aren't alone! First, find out what YOU and YOUR fiance want, and then go from there. I think once you explain to your families how you will try to be respectful of each other's faiths, they'll eventually understand.

I'd recommend your fiance to meet your parents and families and get to know them beforehand. Also, meet HIS family and parents-- that will be very important. Find out what his traditional customs are, go to a cultural festival, attend a wedding with him if you can-- it is very colorful and even beautiful! (I'm Indian with lots of Muslim friends)

I know that you will face a lot of opposition but keep in mind that the Muslim religion isn't as strict as people make it out to be-- they have denominations as well-- and Christianity isn't as strict either-- we have denominations as well. It is possible to honor both faiths and cultures. It is possible to decide that after you have children, to educate them about their heritage and then allow them to decide for themselves what they want to believe in.

The most important thing is to let your fiance and his family know that you have an open mind. Make sure to make both you and him happy first. Good luck!

Answer 2

I have a few questions. One, are you very religious and is your fiance very religious? What do you believe as spiritually true/right for yourselves? Do you consider yourselves "liberal" faith believers, or conservative?

If either one of you is conservative I would NOT go for it. This will cause so many problems. It's one thing to be of two different races. Throwing religions which are different into the mix can really make things very complicated.

Now, if your fiance was a different ethnicity, showing interest in wanting to learn about the culture is a good way to start-- but how can you show interest in another faith, one which you may not even believe in?

I know this isn't an answer that you wanted to hear-- and I'm sorry-- but unless both of you are very liberal when it comes to spirituality-- and I mean VERY liberal, where you wouldn't even think it's important to go to church or mosque or even see why-- there are going to be problems.

The reason why your families don't approve of each other is because of religion. Obviously religion must be important but is it *that* important to YOU? If not, then go ahead and get married. But you already identified yourself as a Christian, and your fiance as a Muslim, and I think that enough should tell you how this will go.

I'm sorry this isn't what you wanted to hear but it is reality. Unless you convert to Islam his family will not accept you until BOTH of you express your disinterest in faith.

Answer 3

Unless you change your religion to Muslim, you will never be accepted by his family. They will never approve. When you marry a Muslim man, you marry his family too, remember that, and you will have no rights.

You can get married in your Christian Church, but probably his family will not attend the wedding. I can understand why your parents are upset, because they know what can happen and how your life would change if you marry him, especially if you change your religion to Muslim. If you can live with that, then go ahead and marry him in your church. If he wants a Muslim ceremony then do that too, but you will never be accepted by his family. You should discuss with your fiance his feelings, if he is really that religious, and if makes any difference to him...Ask questions before you marry, not after. Remember that.

Answer 4

I have had relationships with gentlemen of other faiths, cultures, and stature in life (a foreign prince -yes, really.) I also married within my own religion. The relationships that did not work had nothing to do with religion. The ones that did also had nothing to do with religion. The key to each success or failure was maturity and similar values.

If the officials of each religion agree, you can do that, some will even agree to perform the ceremony at the same time, but don't be disappointed if you can't arrange that. Do discuss things like how you intend to raise your children. That can be a deal breaker. So can families that don't agree. You need to sit down together and have honest discussions with both families, at the same place and time, if you can get them to agree. A restaurant is good because it keeps the yelling and tendency to hurl racial epithets down to a minimum. Can you both tell your parents that you each own your own lives and do not live to fulfill their dreams, without being snide or mean-spirited?

If it looks like you are making progress, but aren't there yet, plan more meetings, about a month apart. You have to give them time to adjust to your plans. Have them all watch "Fiddler on the Roof."

Answer 5

According to Muslim religion he can not be married in the church. While it is great for everyone to be happy, it almost never happens. The important thing is that you are happy and you do not lose your relationship with your families. I'd suggest that you go to a mosque and speak to the imam there. Most imams are very understanding when it comes to these questions and they can be wonderful counselors. I was married to a Muslim for 14 years... divorce had nothing to do with religion. but religious issues can cause great strain if you are not both very open minded and honest about your feelings with each other. Good luck to you both (feesabillillah)

Answer 6

From my understanding to get married in a church you have to be the same denomination. My husband and I are of different denominations and we had a small service on the water, same for my sister and her husband. If your husband is requesting the service to be traditional muslim then work with him. Otherwise most men are flexible, so maybe one service is all you need. Have a judge do the ceremony and you can explain the situation, he may be helpful to arrange a ceremony that's both you and him.

BTW people that are unhappy, will always be unhappy - so don't try too hard:) Good Luck

Answer 7

I am a Christian and my fiance is Muslim. We are having the traditional Muslim legal marriage in Morocco with a smaller wedding celebration. Then we are having a traditional Christian wedding/vow renewal in America. Both of us respect each other's beliefs and he wants an American wedding just as much as I do and I want the Moroccan wedding as much as him. He has no family in America and none of my family will be going with me to Morocco so each family will attend their traditonal/religious wedding.

Answer 8

I really don't see how this can
work out in the long run. These two religions are extreme opposites. The Lord
has even said, "Do not be
unequally yoked together with
unbelievers." One of you will
have to change religions.

Answer 9

well u really cant....
im a muslim and i know that a muslim male can marry a christain female....
so what ur doing is religiously accepted; but quite the opposite socially...
u have to choose one of two things:
u can either convert to islam and have ur family hate u
or he can convert to christianity...and that wont make him happy...
its a tough decision...good luck
but when it comes to the wedding....just have two..

Answer 10

im sorry.. i know love is unexplainable......
but how did that happen?
if Jesus is your savior and the most important thing in your life... how can you be married to someone who believes something completely different? the two religions completely clash in many many points... and if your religions dont match up... your going to run into some serious road blocks when it comes to the reasons why you do things and how you deal with problems.
and most important... how you live your life and the things you put first in it. i guess i just dont undestand how you can be a true christian if your husband doesnt believe the same things you do... i think its practically impossible.

his religion believes you to be... well wrong.
whether it be the way you do things, the things you believe or the reason you are a christian.
so how can he be muslim... and live his life that way... and be married to you. it goes against both his religion and yours. the only way it would work is if you guys werent really all that into either religion....... never mind.
this is confusing me.

i guess you probably already thought of all this... so ill let the subject go.
i personally dont know the answer to this.. i just had to comment because it seems rather ironic.