i lost my best friend who was like my brother nearly a year ago to a drug overdose. i have been feeling extreme amounts of guilt because i didnt try to stop him. i understand it wasnt my fault but human nature is working against me. this issue has caused many of arguements between my husband and i (who was also friends with him). i am having a hard time finding the right words to explain to my hubby why i'm still morning my brother. is this normal or am i to blame for "caring more about a ghost than my husband"(his words).
2007-07-27 17:15:09 · 3 answers · asked by sweet young thing 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry for your loss, but if it's a year, and you're
still not over it, it's time for some counseling.
There is something preventing you from healing and
getting on with your life.
If your husband feels that you care more for the dead
than for him, when he's entitled to first place in your
thoughts, (as you are in his), it's time to fix it.
We can't explain your pain, only you can do that,
and it's time you did.
2007-07-27 17:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by Irv S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to mourn over your brother and no matter how long it takes you will never be able to get over this travesty. Yes, both of you have lost someone that you love and just because that he is over it does not mean that you have to be this is your brother and he of all people should be able to understand that you lost your best friend just as well as he did. Now you should be able to let go but you have to move on with your life and you know that your brother would of have wanted you to. You have a family to take care of and they need you right now, you do not have to forget him just remember the times that you shared and that he will always be there fo you in spirit. Just come out with it and let him know why it is hard to let go and just tell hi to listen, that just what you for him to do is to listen and let you get all your anger out. I think I know why you are still mourning, you never got the chance to tell him that either you were sorry for not saving him and that you love him, but he know that you did everything that you could and that you love him, but he decide to make that choice and you were there when no one else was. He know that you tried but he has to want to stop, but you being the sister that you are he just felt that he had already let you down and now you have to feel guilty. He probably knew that he was a burden and that what he was doing to you made him even more depressed. What happened to him is terrible, but I do not think that he would want you to feel guilty for something that he could not control. Try one day at a time and move on your family needs you and not for you to do what your brother did to himself. One day at a time and you will feel better.
2007-07-27 17:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am SO sorry for your loss.If you are still having extreme amounts of guilt, it may be depression. Please call your Doctor TODAY. You may need some counseling to get through this tough time.
You talk about your hubby (who is probably so worried about you) but you haven't mentioned your parents. Can you talk to them? How about your minister or priest? They can counsel you too.
God Bless and Good Luck!
2007-07-27 17:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by chickemama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋