Would you be upset if your matron/maid of honor was pregnant at your wedding?

Question

Okay, I asked a similar question in 'Pregnancy' but I'm going to ask it here too. I really want to get pregnant My sister is getting married next June. I don't want to rain on her parade or steal her shine. I know that people can get a little bit baby crazy when they see pregnant people. If I were to concieve and have the baby in August [I'd hold off so I could make the wedding and all of the other little things...] I'd be about 7 months pregnant at the wedding.

How do you feel about this? Would it upset you? I would really like very honest answers--I won't complain if they aren't what I want to hear. Thank you!

There are a lot of other things that come into consideration here. The gap between my kids is one of them. I already have an 18 month old. I would really love for him to have a new brother or sister before he is three years old. There's a whole 'plan' of my own going through my head... LOL!

la428282--Actually, I don't find it pathetic. I live in Florida. She lives in Ohio. In order to see my only sister get married I will have to travel to get there for the bridal shower, the wedding week, and after to visit with my family. It is something I for one don't want to miss out on. If you find love for a sibling as 'pathetic' then you have something wrong.

Answer 1

One of my bridesmaids is in the same position you are. She and her hubby to be are getting married next month, and intend on having a child together. However, if she gets pregnant right away, she will be about 7 months along at my wedding.

I would be very anxious about having her heavily pregnant (in the last trimester) for my wedding...the stress of helping with a wedding, the assistance a MOH/Bridesmaid is supposed to give in setting up..all of those things would be an issue if she were pregnant. I would not want her or her child hurt in some way, not to mention I know how tired she would be.

I gave her the option to step aside and be out of the wedding...I didn't want her to have to change her life just for my party, because she doesn't want the age gap between her youngest child from a previous marriage, and this child to be too great. But, it is important to her to be part of my bridal party. She and her fiance have decided to wait until after my wedding to try to get pregnant.

Answer 2

I just got married a few months ago, and it was one of the first weddings I’ve ever been to where someone isn’t pregnant. There is always someone pregnant at a wedding and they don’t tend to draw much attention away from the beautiful bride unless they go into labor right there. But you must also consider that you will have to get a maternity dress that matches the rest of the bridal party and that can be difficult when that far along.

Really and truly if you are close enough to be asked to be the maid/matron of honor then she would probably be happy to have you there regardless of your state of pregnancy. If you get pregnant, consider it a blessing and be thankful that you can and that very soon there will be a little niece or nephew for the newly weds to dote upon. Third trimester tends to be rather tame if you have a healthy pregnancy (other then the bathroom breaks every five minutes) I say go for it get pregnant if you can. If possible avoid being in your first trimester for the wedding if it’s your first pregnancy, some women have a tough time and your health can be unpredictable during those first months.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Two years ago I was associated with a wedding where all four of the Bridesmaids . . the Matron of Honor . . and the Bride were pregnant in various degrees. And even though the Bride's grandparents did not know that she was pregnant they were quite disturbed that all the other married ladies standing next to her were pregnant. And why? The formal photographs.

Last summer I was associated with a wedding where the Maid of Honor was pregnant and the Matron of Honor was pregnant. Both of the ladies were in their last tri-semester of pregnancy. Both of the ladies were hot and uncomfortable (an outdoor wedding). Both of the ladies had a groomsman on each side of her as she walked down a set of flagstone steps before the ceremony and after the ceremony. Both of the ladies sat down immediately when the ceremony began and remained seated until the end of the ceremony (about fifteen minutes). And both of these ladies kicked off their shoes when they sat down.

In all honesty, I really don't think either one of these ladies enjoyed the wedding day experience. And I'm sure one or both of them probably said to themselves at the end of a very long day, "Why did I do this?"

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 4

Have a talk with your sister about this. Ask her if it would bother her having a sister, pregnant and (judging by your question) being the matron/maid of honor. Let her be the judgment and opinion in that. Not those on yahoo answers who: won't be there and seem to never been in this situation before.

Honeslty, I wouldn't upset me at all as I had pregnant siblings attend many events. There is plenty shinning to go around (not just pregnancy, but newborns attending or a newly graduate of middle or high school or even college etc get praised at any event, some funerals at that lol).

Now the thing is, even though you have a "plan" please don't set yourself up for those. Nothing goes to plan. You don't know if you will concieve and have that time frame. You could be just a few months or you can be ready to deliever lol. So, just let what happen, happen, but do discuss this with your sister.

but when you do concieve, congrats!

p.s My mom is into the "I want another grandchild" and even though my brother's fiance is due in Jan to early feb, she is already making hints on me. "if you get "busy" the month of June, you can have an April baby" (2009 baby..). My husband, serving in Iraq again, is hinting too once in awhile and laughs at this whole "busy in June, baby in April" (Every month but april there is multi birthdays or anniv. so that is why she loves April for me.....). So, I understand about the whole want a baby as I do, but planning the month is weird coming from my family that is.

Answer 5

The one to ask is your sister. If she is okay with it and you are okay with it than it's all good. If she thinks you might steal her thunder, you should offer to step back and play a different role in her wedding. You can participate in all of the planning and pre-wedding celebrations even if you are not in the wedding party, right? Your place as the bride's sister allows for that. Talk to her and tell her to be honest about how she feels on the subject.

Since you have been through a pregancy, you know how things go around the 7th month. Will you be busy planning your own special event? Will you be looking forward to showers and nursery decorating? Won't you be focused on your older child and how they are doing with all of this going on? As an honor attendant, your entire focus should be on the bride and making sure she has the best day of her life. Even if you have the best intentions, you just might not be able to do that for her. Pregnancy and family planning is important and can't always be scheduled around other family events. But let someone else take care of your sister and you just be on hand to celebrate with her.

Make sure you get 2 sets of pictures - 1 for the wedding album and 1 for your baby album :)

Answer 6

Any bride who is going to make a bridesmaid stepdown because she is pregnant is a total bridezilla and doesn't deserve to have anybody standing up with her in the first place.

That's like a bride who was on here upset because her fiancee wanted his crippled sister in the bridal party and would make her pictures look bad since the wheelchair didn't cooridnate with the wedding colors.

The only way I see this being an issue is if you are going to be in the third trimester and unable to attend because of your own comfort. You are trying to get pregnant. You aren't pregnant yet so might not get pregnant right away. No offense but it's a little concetied to think that you bieng pregnant is going to steal the bride's thunder at the entire wedding. Sure people get baby crazy but it's not that unusual to see a big belly at a wedding.

Answer 7

Definitely not! Weddings and pregnancy go hand in hand, and they are both part of life itself. You have a family plan, stick to it. You don't change plans, even if it is your sister's wedding. That's not selfishness, it's growing your own family in a healthy way. Can you actually imagine your sister being upset at you for being pregnant at her wedding? She's not that superficial, is she? You aren't stealing her thunder, you are living your life. Not to mention that just because you think you will be 7 months pregnant at that time does not mean you will. It could be that you will only be 3 months pregnant. Not all of life goes according to plan, you know? Or, maybe you will have already had your next child. Your family will be happy either way, won't they?! Do talk to your sister so she is aware of how things are with your family.

If it was my wedding, I would be happy my sister was pregnant. The bride will be the center of attention no matter what anyone else does. Excepting the kinds of events that wind up on America's Funniest Videos...

Answer 8

You don't have to ask your sister's permission to have another kid. But tell her in advance that you will be pregnant. Just plan it so that you are 7 months or less pregnant, that way there is no chance of going into labor or anything! My sister in law told me when we were buying dresses that she planned on being pregnant for our wedding. So we bought dresses accordingly. (two sizes up and an Empire/a line dress - with the option of being able to buy extra fabric) Everyone looked great in the dress and even though she was 7+ months pregnant - some people didn't know. We were just tickled pink that we were getting a nephew. She walked her daughter (my flower girl) in and looked like such a mom. I even have a great picture of her at the end of the night with her shoes off, feet on a second chair and her hands on her belly. It was adorable. (just for a timeline my wedding was July 30, and the baby was born Sept. 21)

Answer 9

I was 8 months pregnant in my friend's wedding and you could not even tell in the pictures because I had flowers in front of me, didn't gain a lot of weight and wore an empire waist dress. It's your sister, not just a friend, so I would hope she would want the best for you. Chances are you won't get pregnant the first time you try so you might not even be showing by the time the wedding comes around. I actually read that a pregnant bridesmaid is supposed to be good luck for the bride and groom. Don't put your own life on hold for one day in her life. It's not fair.

Answer 10

I think the only wrong would be if you used your sister's wedding to announce that you were pregnant. Also it may be difficult for you to fulfill your duties as maid of honor.

Your starting a family should be a decision between just you and your spouse, your sister's wedding should not matter. But at the same time, try not to take away from her day.

When you are far enough into your pregnancy and ready to tell people you should talk to your sister. And when you are ready to tell friends and family you should also, so the announcement is not effectively your sister's wedding.