Let me start by saying that I am paying my way thru school by waiting tables. Tonight I went to dinner with some friends, college age. I noticed a guy at another table scrape dirt off the bottom of his shoe, sprinkle on his almost gone meal and call the waitress over. He said he found dirt in his food and refused to pay for himself or his companion.
I went to the table and told the waitress the truth, pointing out the the guy had dirt under only the nails of one hand, which he used for scraping. There was a scene and the police were called. The guy was forced to pay.
Here's the thing, my friends are mad at ME for getting involved and making a scene. They said just because I wait, I don't have to butt into things at a restaurant.
Was I wrong? Should I have minded my own business?
Ryan
2007-07-27 16:43:10 · 18 answers · asked by RJ 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No. You were definitely right. Your friends are wrong. Where are their standards? On the bottom of that guys shoes? When you see someone being taken advantage of and do nothing about it, you are condoning it. Good Job.
2007-07-27 16:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
The problem, here, Ryan, is that you apparently did not consult with the others before taking action. So what you've done is to elevate your own ideas about a stranger at another table ABOVE the sensitivity of your own friends. THAT'S the etiquette problem -and this is the etiquette secton of Answers.
That does NOT mean you should take no action at all. Perhaps when you said to your friends, "Man, that is SO wrong," (or whatever you said) the NEXT conversation should have been with YOUR server. It might have gone like this:
"The guy at that next table just put dirt from his shoes on his plate, and told his server that he's not going to pay. I saw him do it, and if anyone checks the fingernails of his left hand -they'll see the dirt there. So, when you confront him, tell him you're going to ask some other customers if they saw anything, and if he doesn't own up to it, just sort of randomly pick me out of the crowd and I'll back you up. I don't want to drag my friends into this by making a scene myself, but I am a waiter and this is a rip-off."
Or something like that.
Now, you've put the problem where it belongs (restaraunt management), you've done the honorable thing and you've demonstrated sensitivity for your friends. All the bases are covered. Quite possibly, as well, with you taking the "innocent bystander" role, a fracas would not have followed.
I really can't fault you for they way you did what you did, and had I been sitting nearby I would have shaken your hand. But I also "get it" about the nervousness of your friends, and you've posted the issue in Etiquette, so what I've given you might be a better way to approach the issue -and still "get 'er done" -which is what etiquette is all about. Your friends might still have chided you -but that at least would have seen that you made an attempt to be considerate of their feelings.
OK?
2007-07-31 14:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by JSGeare 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't think you were wrong. And I question your friend's sense of ethics and morality. You may point out to them, that people scamming to get free food like that.. will inevitably end up costing them to pay more for the food at their favorite establishments. If they don't have enough empathy to care for others involved in that scenario, at least they will probably care for their own wallets.
And at the end of the day, the only person you have to satisfy is yourself. I doubt you would have liked looking at yourself in the mirror, knowing you said nothing.
2007-07-31 21:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by i_have_cheese_dreams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. Sleep the sleep of the virtuous. You weren't butting in just because you're also a server (although you may have had more empathy for the poor waitress' plight). Hopefully you did this because you're a good human being.
2007-07-28 02:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by LX V 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've got to be kidding, and your friends have their morals where?
You stood up for what was right and fair. Truth and justice for the people they were about rob !! Whether you are a waiter or not isn't the main issue. The issue was theft by a couple of con artists !! You go Ryan !! GOOD JOB !! Dang, I missed a good restaurant ruckus !! LOL !!
2007-07-28 00:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by iambettyboop 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should never apologize for BEING YOURSELF! Just to quote AC/DC "dirty deeds done dirt cheap." Back to the matter at hand, why be concerned on your friends moods? Since you wait tables, it's now apart of how you act. That guy who tried to pull a fast one( I wished they didn't) received what he deserved. Why feel sorry for acting the way you acted back then? It's in the past, just press forward & don't sweat it.
2007-07-28 00:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Seeker, F.K.A JH da II 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Personally if i were in a situation where i was able to help someone out and i didn't, I would never be able to live with myself. Your actions at that restaurant, reflect on you, and on the way you were brought up. Your friends are lucky to have a friend like you.
2007-07-28 05:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
no you did the right thing. you made the right decision by not letting the guy rip off the restaurant your friends are in the wrong by telling you did wrong by making a scene. so what!
2007-07-27 23:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by bowler_chic27 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I commend you on doing the right thing. I have also worked in that industry and saw my share of crap that people tryed to get out of paying. You did right and if I was your momma I'd be proud of you.
2007-07-27 23:48:59 · answer #9 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You've nothing to apologize for. I worry for your friends' sense of right and wrong, however. Hopefully they'll ponder your example and see how honesty is often more important than public composure.
Good job.
2007-07-28 00:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋