I got a call from my dad today asking to borrow money because he is 2 months behind on his house payment. He didn't specify an amount, just saying "whatever you can do". I'm 22 years old and I live on my own, with my boyfriend. I work full time, bought my own car, pay bills, and have spent extra money entertaining family members that have been visiting and flying to see other family. Together, my boyfriend and I have a good income - but we're struggling with our issues like paying off his debts so that we can look into buying our first home and afford a wedding in the next few years. I'm hesitant to give him any money because I'm afraid some of it will go towards helping my brother who is 26 years old, lives at home, jumps from job to job, and spends all of his extra money on drugs. My dad has never been good at budgeting his money. It burns a hole in his pocket. I'm torn as to what to do. If I loan him any money - it wouldn't be much as I only have $700 to my entire name. Thoughts??
2007-07-27 16:08:13 · 9 answers · asked by VetTech1016 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should add that my parents have been divorced since I was 14 - my mother never asked for child support because my brother lived with him - but he never helped her out with finances regarding me. The only thing he bought me in high school was my prom dress. He didn't help me out at all in college - he donated some books to me and that was it. The rest was left up to my mom who makes much less than him. He also told me he wouldn't be able to pay me back right away. Like I said - I have $700 to my name. I have a few bills to pay off and then I have 3 family members flying in on August 3rd that I'm entertaining for a week along with it being my boyfriends birthday that I have to think about.
2007-07-27 16:21:29 · update #1
Thanks to those who suggested making the check directly out to the mortgage company. That's a great idea.
2007-07-28 06:47:39 · update #2
If you do lend him the money, (I agree) don't expect to get it back. Also it might make you feel more comfortable to pay the mortgage company directly instead of giving the money to him. That way you know exactly where the cash is going.
2007-07-27 17:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by munky_k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make an exception this time (because he's your DAD) & already stated that the money he's borrowing will be towards payment on MORTGAGE (i.e. house payment). That's important. If he doesn't get it paid, the house will get FORECLOSED & it will cost more with a headache if he can get it back. They will end up with no place to live if that would happen (I know it's not your problem) but I am just trying to explain what would happen if he didn't pay it. I think you should loan him the money, he did say he is "borrowing", so technically the big question would be "when will he be able to pay it back?" Your a very good daughter for even offering $700 (that's already a lot!). If lending him this money is NOT going to cause you big financial struggles, then you should go ahead & lend it to him. Tell him you can loan it to him this time, but next time you can't. Ask if he can start paying back sooner in installments (little by little). I know you said he didn't do much for you in the past, it's your decision.
2007-07-27 16:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make an exception this time (because he's your DAD) & already stated that the money he's borrowing will be towards payment on MORTGAGE (i.e. house payment). That's important. If he doesn't get it paid, the house will get FORECLOSED & it will cost more with a headache if he can get it back. They will end up with no place to live if that would happen (I know it's not your problem) but I am just trying to explain what would happen if he didn't pay it. I think you should loan him the money, he did say he is "borrowing", so technically the big question would be "when will he be able to pay it back?" Your a very good daughter for even offering $700 (that's already a lot!). If lending him this money is NOT going to cause you big financial struggles, then you should go ahead & lend it to him. Tell him you can loan it to him this time, but next time you can't. Ask if he can start paying back sooner in installments (little by little). I know you said he didn't do much for you in the past, it's your decision.
2016-05-20 23:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do-don't lend your father money. You won't get it back. If your father is a poor budgeter that's his fault, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Lending money to family is not a good idea, because it breeds animosity.Thing I find funny. Why bother to have a wedding when your living together?But I guess that's up to you. I know it's hard, because my present wife and I had to start all over again when we got married 26 years ago. But hang on in there. Just tell your Dad you can't finance him. Good Luck!
2007-07-27 16:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I loan money to my parents I never expect to get it back. So if you do, make sure its an amount you could live with out. I had to bail my step dad out of jail once for public intox, and I never did get it back.
In the end this is a question you have to awnser for your self.
2007-07-27 16:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by Chelle B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all you've got is $700 there is not much you can or should do.
If you're worried about his wasting whatever you can give, make the check out to his mortgage lender.
That way, at least you know where it went.
2007-07-27 18:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Irv S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My general rule is not to lend money. I'll "gift" people money occasionally and if they manage to "gift" me back, great, but if not I already expected that.
If you do decide to loan your dad the money you can write a check directly to his mortgage company to ensure that your money goes towards that.
2007-07-28 06:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's your dad, id help him out unless he asks you for money constantly then you have to draw the line and stop helping...but if he has only asked for help like once or twice id do it...you'd probably hate to see him lose his house or whatever...tell him none of it is to go for your brother if you loan it to him..and just give whatever you're comfortable with right now...even $100 would help out
2007-07-27 16:18:36 · answer #8 · answered by Holly Berry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not ever loan out your money to anyone, especially to someone that cannot budget their own money.
2007-07-27 16:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋