Do you think having a child....?

Question

is selfish? There are more than enough people in the world. Life is hard and can be so cruel. You can not protect your child from every danger.

Do you ever wonder if you did a good thing by bringing a child into all of this?

Answer 1

I'm not a parent, but I'm a daughter. And i think my parents were selfish in a sense. They brought me, my older sister, and littler brother [we are all teens now] into a horrible situation. My mother was an alcoholic, and we lived in a run down, moldy house and were poor. My father was very distant with us until i was twelve [three years ago] and then he moved us. My parents have always been seperated, never offically divorced, and they lived under the same roof because they thought it would make us feel like we were still part of a family. It was the worst thing possible, because we walked on eggshells for the entire time. my dad never slept there, but instead went to his girlfriend's [of about 15-13 years now] house. When my siblings and i moved in with him it caused so much turmoil amongst ourselves and even turned us depressed, which in my case, lead to suicidal tendancies.

My mom went into rehab about 8 months ago and is not rehabilitated and working. i resent her and my father very much and they are aware of this. Out of all three kids they feel they had crewed me up the most, which i highly doubt is true. I was dubbed "gifted" when I was little and turned out to be very skillled and was put into GATE [gifted and talented education] at my school, but once i moved in with my father and came out of denial i dropped out and became suicidal.

So there, that is my proof that yes, parents are not factoring in another humans life while deciding to have a child. I mean, you can house a child who's already on this planet, and is in need of a home, so why would you help overpopulate the home by making your own?

It bothers me.

Deeply.

Answer 2

Well, I think it is selfish to have multiple children. You know, the families with 4+ kids who say "I just love children" or "I've always wanted a big family." They could have a large family and help the world by adopting or fostering. Reason one being overpopulation and reason two being that there are so many children who need homes (infants through teens). I really do think people with large families are too concentrate on a "larger legacy" rather than enjoying a large family. Some ppl want to birth all of their children, but what for? Becuase it's their own blood. If you really just want a large family and enjoy children then there should be no problem adopting and fostering the rest of the children you want to have after you've already had a couple. Life is hard and can be cruel and although there is a lot of bad in the world there is also a lot of good. If the good ppl didn't keep having children and those who shouldn't have children (and there are some if you look away from having equal rights JUST to have them) kept having children then the world would just keep on a decline. I know I am a positive entity in this world by my actions and mental state of mind and my child will carry that on by what I teach her. If I am unaware of my positive or negative status in this world or don't even care, then I shouldn't have a child.

Answer 3

I don't think having a child is selfish at all unless you do it for a selfish reason such as to get or keep a partner. You have to be pretty selfless as a parent, to devote yourself wholly to your children. As my husband says: "My life was over the day my little girl was born, other than to make her life a happy one" This doesn't mean you ignore your own needs all the time, but you take care of yourself and do things that make you happy so that you will be better able to care for your children. There are some bad things in this world, but there are also some good things that I think every soul should get a chance to experience. Being a part of a loving family is one of them. My daughter is going to make this world a better place. I truly believe that with all my heart. It is because of that, that I live and strive every day to be a better person. It's because I have a child. If more people in the world felt this way it would be a MUCH better place.

Answer 4

The world has been bad for so long, but you can't base having a child on that. If we did, no one would have kids. You just have to hope that bringing a child into this world is a good thing. It's not the world that raises a child, it's the parent or parents. The only thing you can do is hope that the parents are doing their job. I have thought this same question and I am 14 weeks pregnant. But it's not going to stop me from being happy. The world is a bad place, but it only is what you want it to be. Hope you find your answers.

Answer 5

For my husband and me, having our two children is a blessing. It's not at all selfish to want children.

Yes, life is hard, and can be cruel. It teaches us many lessons. Parenthood is a challenge, but it's also rewarding.

My daughter was born with a cleft lip/palate. She's such a beautiful little girl, was from birth. I can't imagine not having her in my life. My son, who is the older one, has grown into a wonderful 8 year old being, and we're really proud of him.

My choice of having children was a good thing. I'm so sorry that you feel so negatively about it. That's rather a sad way of thinking.

Answer 6

Yes, after 9/11 I was upset I bought a child into this world. How wonderful life is though, now that she's in the world.

Answer 7

HAPPINESS MAKES UP IN HEIGHT
FOR WHAT IT LACKS IN LENGTH - Robert Frost

Oh, stormy stormy world,
The days you were not swirled
Around with mist and cloud,
Or wrapped as in a shroud,
And the sun’s brilliant ball
Was not in part or all
Obscured from mortal view
Were days so very few
I can but wonder whence
I get the lasting sense
Of so much warmth and light.
If my mistrust is right
It may be altogether
From one day’s perfect weather,
When starting clear at dawn,
The day swept clearly on
To finish clear at eve.
I verily believe
My fair impression may
Be all from that one day
No shadow crossed but ours
As though its blazing flowers
We went from house to wood
For change of solitude.

Answer 8

I have often looked at the world around me and though...this is what I am leaving my children? It is perfectly normal as a parent to have these thoughts. The only thing I can hope for is that my children bring something to this world. Hopefully I can give them the morals, and education that will one day change things for this world.

Answer 9

Well, if we all stopped having children then the human race would end. You can only hope that you are raising a child that will make the world better.

Answer 10

I thought about that, too. Then realized if we stopped having children altogether for those reasons, it wouldn't make life easier or safer or nicer. All we can do is plan for the child, offer life and raise him/her to the best of our ability. So I did that, and I cherish my children and grandchildren above all else.