My Cousin is planning a wedding with his girlfriend but they don't love each other they only "like" each other and since my cousin isn't used to ask for help i'm trying to help him out as much as i can.so please can you guys tell me your opinions....
2007-07-27 13:31:04 · 23 answers · asked by Cranium_99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think they should get married. It is people like them that have made the divorce rate continue to climb over 50%. Marriage is a commitment that is meant to last a lifetime (the first time). Granted some people can make a relationship work starting out the way your cousin and fiancee are headed. However, the odds are stacked against them. There really isn't a good reason to marry someone if you don't love them, is there?
2007-07-27 13:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if the arranged couple marries...they really dont know each other. someone does and arranges the two to be married. and because their marriage is arranged...to not try to make the marriage work is the slap the faces of the people who arranged the marriage and so you see it is a different arrangement altogether. it is more of a 'marriage' contract. it is not a 'love' contract. here in the west, some who marry with a preconceived notion that love will last or be continuously happy, they are misguided. they dont know what a 'marriage' contract entails. they dont realize 'marriage' as a contract and has 'rules' to abide by that hold the couple together. in the arranged marriages...the contract and rules are abided by more and mediation from family input when the couples become unhappy...they refer to the 'vows' and persuade the couples to regroup. here...marriage seems to be more or less unequal because women work outside the home and at home and the men expect or hope that she'll care for everything as the old fashioned women did and that yet still have the same basic male instincts of infidelity during marriage and possessiveness and insecurities of other men looking at their wives and the other women are trying to get the married man for herself. its a whole nother culture really. its like comparing apples to oranges. lot of the women in western culture are encouraged to put their kids in daycare and let others take care of their kids which means anybody can shape the child's moralities and sensibilities and decisions in life. this causes married couples to lesser bonds with their kids, two jobs cause lesser encouragment for the predominately male maturity as a protector over his wife and family. its just different. western marriages are affected by so much more than the 'arranged marriages' of a completely different culture and morality.
2016-05-20 22:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get married for all sorts of reasons, love being only one. Some people get married only as a business thing--they can save money filing joint tax reports. Some people get married to make sure if something happened to one of them, the other would do the right thing for any kids in the family and healthwise and legally since the spouse usually inherits. Some people get married just to have a companion. Some people get married because the sex they've had together pre-marital has been so fantastic. Some people get married because they don't really know what love is or what marry entails. So, if your cousin is getting married, and he obviously is old enough and doesn't have a gun held to his head, he must want to be married to this woman. It is not your place to determine what the "right" reasons for getting married are for them. Just give them your best wishes. Many times, people who are just friends and like each other develop a far more deep and respectful love for each other with time.
2007-07-27 15:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by Inundated in SF 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They shouldn't get married.. why they're even engaged is beyond me but.. they shouldn't get married because it will end violently.. they'll start to fight and what not and it will be all down hill from there...
you should tell him that he needs to call off the wedding (it shouldn't be that much of a heartbreak on them since they're only in like with each other).. maybe they should go out some more to see if they will ever really love each other.. if not then they shouldn't even talk about marriage.. theres no sense in spending a bunch of money on a wedding that might not even last..
2007-07-27 13:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not your mess but I can understand you wanting to help your cousin. Like is not enough for marriage because it will not hold you together in the tough times. Like will not make the sacrifices necessary sometimes in marriage. Like wants its own way and looks out for its own best interests. Like is not a strong enough bond to build a family upon and Like will not see you through the trials of child raising and the troubles of life in general. Like is not going to always be there especially when things get dar. Like is not enough to keep you with that same person until death do you part.
2007-07-27 13:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not wrong.
It might work out; sometimes love develops over time.
On the other hand, if either of them falls in love, it would be a mess.
But it's not your decision; it's theirs.
I don't see you YOU'RE in any kind of a mess at all.
Marriage between two people who actually like each other is better than a LOT of marriages. (So many married couples don't like each other at all, and spend the rest of their lives making each other miserable.)
2007-07-27 15:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, why would you just settle. Marriage is for life and just settling for like might ruin both of your lives. It could end up ruining the marriage and what if you eventually found that person that you LOVED, you couldn't leave. While your cousin might feel if he ends it now he might lose his girlfriend as a friend, it could end up worse if he does marry her.
2007-07-27 13:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by Sam K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, being the romantic that I am, say, yes, it is wrong. However, others could say that marriage is based on compatibility, and true love (or perhaps, misconstrued lust) clouds sensibilities, and only people in "like" can think clearly enough to know if they're compatible enough to get married.
You know, they could be getting cold feet. If not, they really need to discuss if they're getting married because they want to, or because they feel obligated to. That is not a reason to get married.
If he feels really wrong about it, then he shouldn't get married.
2007-07-27 13:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by Tammerz 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, love often turns to hate, so 'like' may not be a bad place to start. People 'in love' often don't like each other, just here's a chemistry between them.
But who's to know. Maybe their 'like' will turn to a deep love in future years. If they feel strongly enough about each other to take the step of marriage, even though they aren't in love, I think bodes well for the future
2007-07-27 13:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's decided to get married, there's probably not much you can say to talk him out of it. It's something he's going to have to decide/find out on his own. Congratulate him if things seem to be going well. Be there for him if it all goes down the toilet. That's just about all you can do. You don't want to jeopardize your relationship with him.
2007-07-27 13:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋