ok i am sixteen and so is my friend, we are both boys. his grandfather died and i am going to his wake, what should i do, should i give him a hug, a handshake, both? also i really don't know his family, i mean i know his mom, dad, and sister, but not his aunts, uncles and cousins what should i say/do to them?
2007-07-27 13:18:27 · 16 answers · asked by DAVE 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
lol Sorry, but I find it kinda funny that you would give him a hug...so obviously, no hugs. It's a guy thing, I guess...
But show up in a suit if you have one, shake hands with his relatives and express your condolences. Also, be there for your friend whenever he wants to talk or get away from his family for a few minutes.
2007-07-27 13:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your friend it's alright to give him a hug if this isn't going to make him uncomfortable, otherwise a gentlemanly handshake with a close grasp is very acceptable. Along with some kind words. Go by what he is able to handle. The loss of a close family member is tough and at 16 you haven't experienced a lot of this. With his other family members, just follow beside your family and stay respectable. It doesn't necessarily require you to say anything unless you are comfortable saying sorry for your loss. Less is more sometimes when you don't know what to do. Follow your leads.
2007-07-27 20:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him a hug if he's crying, a handshake in greeting.
Tell the family you are sincerely sorry for your loss, then you can make a white lie and say that "Billy' always talked so fondly of him. He sounded like a great man.
Be respectful and quiet. There should be a coffee room where they provide food and a place away from the casket if it proves to be too much for some people, so you can always hang out in there. But don't bring anything to entertain yourself like a book or Gameboy, because that could be seen as rude. if they have magazines there, it would be ok to look through them.
2007-07-27 20:25:09 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say, "I'm sorry for your loss." A lot of people hug at funerals, as this is a friend - I'd say give him a hug. He needs the support right now. If you think that might be awkward, a handshake would probably be good.
Edit: I don't agree with Cookiesheet regarding the "How are you holding up?" Questions like that at my grandparents' funerals made me start crying. Best not to ask that one. Her other suggestions were good though.
2007-07-27 20:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should hug that is more comforting then a handshake, and its ok if you don't know the family your there for your friend's grandpa and him so don't worry about to much and if conversation starts just give appropriate answers
2007-07-27 20:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What ever you are comfortable with, and whatever he is comfortable with. For the rest, a hand shake, a hand put on a hand or arm is polite, and nice. You say,"I'm so sorry." For those that do not know you, say "I'm Jim, Brad's friend from school." Let them introduce themselves, and say, "I'm so sorry for your loss" You could say that you are glad to meet them, just wish it could have been under happier circumstances.
2007-07-28 08:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your friend, stand back and watch how he acts. if he's sad just be there for him. no words need be exchanged. "I'm sorry for your loss" sounds pathetic and "My deepest sympathies" sounds like a greeting card. just be polite, shake hands with the older men that put their hand out and stick close to your friend. It's really no big deal, you'll do fine as long as you mind your manners
2007-07-27 20:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very sweet of you to be there for your friend. Give him a hug! And, shake his hand! Tell him and his parents, cousins, family, that you are deeply sorry for their loss and they have your deepest sympathy!
2007-07-27 20:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by Heidi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u met the dead guy, say he was a good man. if not, say you wish u couldve known him. hugs to the people u kno close and personally, handshakes to those u dont. if someone offers u a hug though, its best to accept it.
2007-07-27 20:22:05 · answer #9 · answered by jacobdylan2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at the wake, just say " i'm sorry for your loss"....that's it.
if he's your friend and you feel it will help to console your friend, a hug wont hurt.
tell him your sorry his grandfather passed and that your there for him if he needs to talk about it.
2007-07-27 20:25:11 · answer #10 · answered by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋