How do I deal with the ANGER, FRUSTRATION, AND STRESS my mom puts on me?

Question

My parents do nothing but stress me out. I was folding clothes today, and my mom told me to fold my younger brother's clothes. I figured that HE should fold them because he was sitting down playing video games.

NO I'm not lazy, because I folded everyone else's clothes, but I didn't fold his because he wasn't busy. So he wasn't mad at all and said that he would take care of his socks because he understood why that would make me mad.

So I went back to what I was doing and my mom started yelling at me telling me to fold his socks. He explained that he would fold them himself and she was like,"THANK you." Like he had done HER a favor.

She ALWAYS gets an attitude with me and I am the one that HELPS HER with the chores around the house. She never makes anyone else do anything because they are boys and she says that I should do the housework (even though they don't do anything else.)

I have tried keeping a diary to vent about my feelings, but she has read it and got even MADDER at me.

The reason I didn't put my age was because I have found that alot of people judge me based on my age, when I actually act OLDER.

Answer 1

U know something I use to go through the same thing.But the only thing I can tell you right now is try to go the oppisite way than your mom,Turn music on,cry,hang with friends,call your best friend,u know stuff like that.I dont live with my mom now b/c we couldnt get along.

Answer 2

Maybe it would help for you to understand your mother's background - how she was raised/how she grew up. Just because she is your mother doesn't mean she has all the right answers or equipped with good judgment. I am sure she means well but you need to let her know that although you want to please her and don't mind doing chores, sometimes, you feel chores are overwhelming and unfair...and that times have changed and nowadays, housework is fairly divided between men and women because a lot of women are getting great jobs too. Also, if you have a future goal or what you want to do with your life, share that with your mother and let her know how you plan on making it happen. For her to focus so much on you doing most of the housework and telling you that it's a woman's job...maybe she thinks that you're going to be a housewife someday and you have no other goals. She's just a little old-fashioned. Try to understand where she's coming from and let her know gently, where you are going in life.

Answer 3

I don't think your mom should be reading your diary. I never read my daughter's. My daughter and I went through the same kind of things you are describing and I was always on her case about something. She could be doing something right and it wasn't good enough. I was stressed out about her behavior for other things and let it cause me to pick at her about everything. It seems that mothers and daughters can't get along during the teen years no matter what. You can try talking to your mother when she isn't mad at you and is calm and let her know how you feel or if you can't talk to her, write her a letter and give it to her. Maybe she will be reasonable enough to try to understand your point of view and realize she needs to be nicer to you.

Answer 4

From what you eritr it sounds as if your mother is either under extreme stress for some reason or is overbearing. I believe it's more of the latter, in particular because she is reading your diary/log abd then confronting you about it.

At this point in your life do not fall into the trap of lashing out like her....rather - since she sticks her nose into your writing - paint, color or draw how you feel -- not people, but the use of colors and shapes which depict things only to you.

Answer 5

this sounds like a case of mother says daughter does no-matter...what the cause....the only thing I can say is hang in there to the bitter end even though things may not go your way at some-times or at all...you have to realize your the oldest and even though your bro..may have said he'd do it him-self...really all of the responsibility is gonna fall on you...but really all you can do is listen and do it and move on and try to have some...time to your-self..it's gonna be hard to do but this is all you can do until your mom cools down or just light-in up a bit about who's responsible for this or that etc...try to do things the right way..so you'll be able to bereave a little better...

Answer 6

Certain emotional expectations exist in a parent;s mind for their children and her frustration with you is likely because she has set unrealistic expectations for you.. probably based on how SHE was [or how she REMEMBERS herself] at your age. She "appreciated" your brother helping because, as the son, she has no clue what to expect from him or perhaps has lower expectations than she does for you. Neither one is fair to you, but neither one is anything you can control.

Best recommendation I can make for you is to find an adult role model you CAN look up to and respect and follow their lead. When my parents drove me crazy, I was lucky enough to take martial arts classes and my instructor has been one of my best friends for almost 12 years now.

Answer 7

Hypnotherapy is a wonderful way to relax, reduce stress and to get better quality sleep with no side effects.
You can visit a Hypnotherapist for a one to one session or get a self help CD (or download)
The benefits can be amazing.
Good luck.

More details on
http://www.hypnotherapistregister.com/Sleep%20Disorders.htm

http://www.hypnotherapistregister.com/Stress%20Management.htm
http://www.hypnotherapistregister.com/index.htm

Answer 8

All you need to do is pretend that u are listening and then when the conversation is over go to your room and forget about it. dont give her attitude or she will just have another screaming conversation with you.

Answer 9

mabey u could tell ur mon calmly wat u jus wrote