How can my fiance and I include my 4 and 5 year old into our wedding ceremony to call us a "family"?

Question

My fiance took on myself and my 2 children from a previous relationship. They call him and dad and that is all that matters, but we'd like to include them in our readings in our upcoming wedding, to pronounce us as a family. We were thinking of giving them a necklace each too.

Answer 1

when you do the rings for you two have them come up (or already be up there) and say "vows" with them.

Answer 2

Put the two into bridal party roles such as ring bearer and flower girls. Then get a mature relative to keep them in line while the ceremony is going on.
Children like to disrupt adult goings on when not held back by another adult, specially when its only mom and dad !. This may annoy your guests even if you two will not mind it at all.
As for the vows, write up something they will say during the ceremony. Are they shy? If so, dont force them to do it in front of strangers.
Find their comfort zones when it comes to being an active participant. If they are outgoing and extroverted, you can do rehearsals and it will turn up to be just a great and memorable occasion.
Congratulations.

Answer 3

My fiance has a 9 year old son (who will be 10 by time we get married next year). I thought the whole presenting him with a ring was cheesy and overdone, so we are doing a sand ceremony. It is also an alternative to lighting a unity candle, however, what happens is you have one main vase and with different colored sand in other vases you pour the contents of your vase into the main vase and the colors will combine symbolizing the union between you. We loved this idea and we will be using our personal favorite colors. You can buy the sand online. Just enter sand ceremony into your search engine and it will take you to a dozen sites. Just an idea. Hope it helps.

Answer 4

You didn't state if they were boys or girls. If you have one of each, one could be the ring bearer and the other a flower girl. Try incorporating a poem about family or love, and have each one read one at the alter before you say your vows. I saw this done on a wedding show, and it was beautiful. Also, you can get a unity candle set, and include 2 smaller ones (make sure they match the main set =) ), and after you both light yours, have the kids light theirs. This signifies unity for all of you as a family.

Answer 5

You can include a children's ceremony, which can be as simple sa giving them small gifts, after the vows and r ings, or as complex as saying children's vows. A nice necklace comes from www.familymedallion.com, it also includes a sample ceremony to use if you like it. It is very nice to join the family with a children's ceremony, it makes them feel involved and included, and at this age, they feel like they are getting married too! Best wishes!

Answer 6

My daugher was 14 when my husband and I got married and although she has a father in a different state, my husband loves her as his own. We let her pick out a ring she liked that was real jewelry. We both gave her this ring in our ceremony. The preacher said some kewl stuff about family and how our committment to each other was just as important as our committment to her and that the ring we were giving her was our symbol of that committment. She is 18 and still tells people that that is her wedding ring she got when we got married. We had looked at "family" jewelry made just for the occasion, but we though they were ugly to tell you the truth, so we just let her pick. You can get them necklaces and get one that matches one you wear too, or let them choose something. They are a little young to take care of an expensive piece of jewelry, but they should get something they remember that commemorates getting their daddy. Ask your officiator, I bet they have done this before, as it is fairy common. have a great time!

Answer 7

This is what a friend of mine did with her 2 sons. Instead of a Unity candle, they had a large empty vase. Each person had a smaller vase with different colored sand in it. At the same time they all poured the sand from their vase into the large empty one. I think the officiant said something about the them coming together to form a new family. I am sure you could find a poem or saying to recite if you wanted too.

Answer 8

Actually, my cousin married a man with two children. They had a little side ceremony at the wedding and the girls got rings too. It was a symbol of the new family that was created. It was very touching. Ask your priest or minister about this, he/she should have the verbiage to use for this ceremony.

Answer 9

The necklace idea is really good, I've seen that before. You can work something into your vows - after the couple makes their vows and exchanges their rings, they make another pledge to the kids to unite the family and exchanges the necklaces. Why not have the kids write their own vows, or share their explanation of what a family is? That might be nice.

Answer 10

One of my friends got married a couple of years ago.. Her hubby after the wedding vows where exchanged called her daughter up to the alter. He had written his own vow to be a dad to the brides daughter and presented her with ring also.. It was very lovely..

I am getting married in sept.. I have a son from a previous marriage.. We are going to incorporate him and our son together in the wedding...

We are also going to do a sand ceremony. Where we all have sand vases and pour each into a bigger vase..

And we are also doing a lei exchange...

Answer 11

I am an ordained minister and below is the part of the wedding that included her children - 2 girls and a son they had together. The first part of the ceremony was marrying them and joining them as a couple and then the kids part was after. Hope this helps:

When a couple marries, it isn't just the joining of the two lives together, it is the coming together of two families, as well.

For in as much as Ryan and Kourtney become husband and wife, they also are being joined now by Cheyenne, Caleigh and Tristan to become a new family.

At this time, we recognize these children and acknowledge their significance on this very special wedding day. Children, will you please come forward and stand in a circle with your parents.

Ryan and Kourtney, will you please both repeat after me to your children:

Today, as we become husband and wife, we welcome you into our new family. We recognize you are precious gifts from God to us both. We promise to be there for you always, to comfort you and care for you, to protect you and provide for you, to guide you and listen to you and most of all to love you with all of our hearts all the days of our lives.