It's been almost 3 years with my current bf. We agreed on an open relationship, but never really practiced it. We met new friends, and one of them liked me and I liked him. My bf saw the flirting and asked me about it, but I said there's nothing serious, which was true at the time. Now the situation is: the new guy is saying he really likes me and wants to be with me, my bf is pissed off and showing jealousy and love that he didn't show before, and I like them both. Any suggestions?
2007-07-27 10:06:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My bf never actually said he loves me before. I felt the love but I was never sure or secure about it. Last summer we met some new friends and he had a crush over a girl. I let him be with her but he came back after less than a week.
The new guy is more passionate and already said he loves me, which is fast in my opinion. I'm phisicaly very attracted to the new guy which wasn't the case with any of my past relations, so I am afraid it's only physical.
My bf has this restless character, which is tiring and exciting at the same time, he is harder to control which I like because I rarely find a guy that is hard to control. He is full of activities and ideas and successful at work, but can't work without me.
The new guy is currently without a job, which I don't like much because I always look for guys who are successful since I am successful at work. He seems easier to control which might bore me after a while.
I'm so confused.
2007-07-27 10:24:37 · update #1
I feel love from the new guy more than I feel it from my bf. I feel that my bf is with me only because I'm always outgoing and he got used to me, and because our lives are now mixed since we do everything together: we are partners at work, we go out together everywhere, we travel together, we have the same friends.
2007-07-27 10:28:41 · update #2
stay with your bf just because he hasnt siad he loves you doesnt mean he doesnt love you stay with him. and if you have your heart set on leaving him for the new guy at the moment, then test the waters by going out with the new guy for a week. it only fair if your bf did the same a while ago. if you genuinely think that this new guy who just walked into you life is better than the guy who has stuck with you for 3 years than go for it
2007-08-04 02:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by hot stuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend has no right to be jealous. If he was able to go out with another girl then you should be able to go out with another guy. This is part of the "open relationship" agreement that you both decided on. I believe your current boyfriend has grown feelings over you and that is why he's acting a little jealous, but its really up to him to change that since he can easily commit to a real relationship rather than a vague one.
Your real problem is that the new guy is very interested in you and you have to think about whether or not you want to venture into something serious like that, because chances are you'll have to end your relationship with your current bf.
2007-08-04 17:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl you've got yourself into a bit of a mess...lol. Okay to me...now this is only my point of view ok...but your Bf only showed more attention when the new guy came along right? Now I could be wrong, or I might have read it that way....but that's the way it kinda seems.
Look it's that whole guys don't want anyone having what they can't have sort of thing...you know? And your BF saw that ...wait a sec She might be leaving I have to do something and got all pissed. Or then again maybe this was the push that he needed to open his eyes to see what a wonderful girl he had right in front of him all this time.
Okay as for what you should do....I can't tell you...none of us can. We don't hold the answers...God how I wish I did...wouldn't that be simple...lol. You have to look at them both (not really but you know what I mean...lol) and think hard about it. Do I like the New guy...or the BF? Who makes you light up at the thought of his name? who would you rather spend more time with? who's flaws are cuter...hahaha? and most important of all who do see a future with...or who do you see it lasting longer with...lol? I know if you look really hard you'll find the answer...if you don't already know. Good luck and best of luck to whoever you pick....byee!
2007-08-04 16:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by ak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An open relationship does not build trust or confidence, or even self confidence for that matter. I would suggest if you can't be happy and love the one you are with then maybe it is time for a change. Love is a choice. If you keep flirting with this new guy then your 3 year relationship will end up dying anyway and may even turn ugly. I'm thinking that this new bit of attention that you are receiving maybe filling a void in your life that you didn't necessarily know that you had. Nothing good ever came from an open relationship.
2007-08-04 09:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both had a very easy relationship, going on. We have benefits but nothing serious...????? , well, these are the consequences of a relationship with no base, not solid and serious. This is what you guys chose, now don't cry...
you never felt he is your boyfriend.....right? I mean "open relationship" what's that? he's free and you are free, well, your choice.
I think the best thing to do is end up this "open" thing, and either you start seriously, you both need to sit down and talk about it, or, just go your separate ways.
Bad thing to work together, it will be hell, but you guys started everything in a very weak plan.
Plus you already waisted 3 years of you life.....
You being a succesful woman, don't get started with one that doesn't even have a job!!!!!!
2007-08-04 10:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sleep with the new guy and make up your mind afterwards it seems that your bf got a little too much comfortable meaning became lazy and thats such a turn off you said it you 2 have an open relationship so get it into practice
i am dutch and having an open relationship and in the end i always came back to my bf all the others were letting me realize they are not like him and i knew i liked my bf best so inevr told the others i loved them just that i needed them all fair and i told my bf before so not really cheating as well
2007-08-03 23:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by ajal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open relationships aren't a good idea to start with. I've seen so many problems caused by these, and the whole "friends with benefits" theory, too. And, after 3 yrs. of not practicing an open relationship, it's kind of late to be starting, don't you think? I think it's time for you to be single for awhile and play the field a little before getting into a relationship again.
2007-07-27 17:14:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i've had my fair share of relationships and wen a guy says that he's willing to have an open relationship means that he's wanting to no how far u wud go wit it. If he's being lioke that its because u've made him realise something, hurt him and made him realise he dont want nothing more than u! u mite like them both but who make u nervous wen u go to kiss him, who do u feel more comfortable around and who can u b yr true self around? to me 3 yrs is alot to give up do u love him?
2007-07-27 17:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG I had the same thing happen!
In the end me and my boyfriend broke up due to trust reasons but it wasnt because we didnt love each other
Do you have feelings for the other boy? If so you have to tell you boyfriend and if not you and your bf need serious words about how he feels and if hes going to stop bein a child
good luck
xXx
2007-07-27 17:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up with your "Boyfriend". It's not a true relationship anyway.
Don't get involved in any serious relationship with anyone exclusively and date many people. Enjoy your life and your relationships and one day you'll finally find your soulmate and you'll just KNOW that he is for you and you are for him.
The one you call your Boyfriend right now.. isn't. He just doesn't want anyone else to have something he has marked as property.
2007-07-27 17:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋