Okay so this is what happen, my bf wanted to take me to a trip to the amusement park, but the thing is I already made plans with my best friend. He got pretty mad and was saying things like I was in love with my best friend, who is a male. I love my best friend just not in the way he thinks I do. We got into a big arguement and he left in fury. In the end he gave me an ultimaum: me or him? I chose me best friend...was I wrong to do so?
2007-07-27 09:47:36 · 21 answers · asked by Emily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If a guy makes you choose between your friends and him, always pick your friends. He overreacted and obvously didn't trust you enough to be alone with your friend. You are better off without him.
2007-07-27 09:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by The Seeker 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you did the right thing, You already had plans with your friend, your boyfriend should have asked beforehand to see if you were available on the day he wanted to take you, in addition to that, it seems that he may be an insecure and jealous person, which eventually will only make things in your relationship worse, it is better to find out now what kind of person he is, than sometime in the future when feelings run a little deeper. Get over him, find a man that is secure in his self and in his relationships
2007-07-27 16:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by braindeadbrilliance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong. You aren't doing anything with your best friend. And, your friend has probably been in your life longer than this guy. If your guy had tried to make plans with you, but your plans were with your best girl friend, he wouldn't think anything of it. He is being immature because the friend is a guy. The problem is with him. He probably will come crawling back in a few days. But, I wouldn't put up with that mess. You did the right thing. Too much drama.
2007-07-27 16:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong. Ultimatums are a definite red flag in any relationship, and while domination may be fun once in awhile in the bedroom, it's not fun in life.
Good friends are few and far between. Lovers will come & go in your life.
I'd say you made the right choice, and cudos to you for not letting el jerko push you around!
2007-07-27 16:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would choose your friend. Ask yourself, do you really want a bf who controls who you hang out with? It's good you make plans with your regular friends. Your life shouldn't revolve around one guy. You still need your friends and family. If he just asumes you love your friend like the way you love him, I don't think he even trusted you.
2007-07-27 16:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by funfriend2008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u were. First of all u should NOT have chosen. U should have allowed him to cool off and come to his senses. Doing this u now have given him a reason to feel insecure about ur relationship with your [male] bestfriend. Now he feels he is going to have to compete for your attention with this guy (which he probably already felt like). The thing to do is to talk with him let him know he comes first and u made a mistake for choosing the bestfriend. Tell him u were angry with him and he hurt u with saying those mean things about u ad this guy and u were only retaliating which was immature and wrong. U are going to have to make this up to him big time because ur bf is just jealous and felt as if this guy is competition to him.
Depending on if u want to work things out with ur bf the above advice is useful but if u feel as if te relationship was going nowhere and dont wanna be with him, let it be and leave him alone. Make it clear to him u want the relationship to be over and u both should move on..
If u do work things out with him ur going to have to put this bestfriend on the back burner, for at least a few days. Make ur bf ur top priority and spend time with him. Talk to ur bestfriend let him know its nothing personal and u just really want to work things out with ur bf and to make up for the mistake u made, u need to spend this time working things out.
As far as ur bf being jealous, maybe he senses there is something going on with ur bestfriend. Maybe he feels this guy is over stepping his bounds at times. Ask ur bf if there is anything about ur relationship with ur bestfriend that bothers him and try to look at it through his eyes.
There is no way ur bf can demand u ditch ur bestfriend based on his jealousy and being unable to handle his girl having a male bestfriend. Do ur best to explain to him how it upsets u when he accuses things going on between u and ur bestfriend but stay sensitive to his feelings. I mean if he had a girl bestfriend and u had a funny feeling she was up to something wouldnt u feel threatened? Not to say ur bestfriend is after u but just how girls can see through another female maybe he is seeing through this guy??
Good luck!
2007-07-27 17:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by MoMo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight, you had a decision between your best friend who you dont love like that and your boyfriend who you do love, adn you chose your best friend? I'm not a fortune teller, but that can go nowhere but down. Sorry, but that was a bad decision.
2007-07-27 16:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. u chose to hang w/ ur best friend over ur boyfriend? thats a hard choice. and it depends on the level of ur relationship as to whether u should have chose ur best bud over ur guy. did u and ur boyfriend have a good, solid relationship? was there issues? had ur best friend proven to be worthy in the past to where it was worth losing ur boyfriend over? do u like ur bf more than ur guy? i dont know. thats a hard call.
2007-07-27 16:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by the_kid_doesnt_care 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be loyal to your friends. if the guy you were dating or whatever doesnt trust you then maybe hes not the guy for you. its WRONG for him to force you to choose between him and your best friend. i mean, you can go through alot of boyfriends but its hard to find best friends that will stick with you forever.
2007-07-27 16:53:38 · answer #9 · answered by disturbingchipmunk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. He had no right to try to force a decision such as this on you. Had you chosen him he would continue to put you under his "control". You taught him that you own yourself and that you will be treated with respect by him. You are your own person and unwilling to be manipulated. Huraah for you!
2007-07-27 16:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋