My mother passed away 2 years ago. My parents were married for 56 years. My dad had purchased A LOT of jewelry for my mom and her biggest fear was after she died that my dad would find some "twinkie" and give her all her jewelry.
Recently dad met another woman (Lu).. They've been dating 6 months. I met Lu several times and watched to see how their chemistry was together. It was definately there on dad's part but not on Lu's part. I saw no sign that she's even likes him that much. She's also very rude. She made snide comments during dinner.
Yesterday dad said they had yet another argument and he broke up with her. Today he told me they talked and that he gave her mom's diamond earrings. I told him he can not buy her affection but what else can I say to him to make him understand that Lu is just using him for a meal ticket and now jewelry? He takes her to eat 6 or 7 times a week.
None of us 6 kids want him to be lonely but none of us like this particular woman.
2007-07-27 09:37:59 · 9 answers · asked by DearAbby2 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she did make a list of some specific things to go to each child.. but she did that when she was in her 50's.. she was in her 80's when she passed away. It isn't really the jewelry I'm worried about.. I just don't want my dad to be used and made to look like a fool
2007-07-27 09:49:14 · update #1
First, I'm so sorry for your loss but second, why on EARTH did your mom not leave specific instructions about her jewelry? Why didn't it go to her daughter(s) then this wouldn't be an issue at all.
Your Dad is going to need to find his own way but maybe you can sit him down and really talk to him about what he wants in a girlfriend and let him know that while first and foremost you want him to be happy, you think maybe this isn't the right match for him. Also remind him that frequently jewelry can be considered a family heirloom and he might want to think about his children before giving away any of their mother's jewelry.
2007-07-27 09:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very sad, but there's really nothing you can do. Until he is ready to see her for what she is, you're not going to convince him and you'll just damage your relationship if you try. About the best you can do is to ask for pieces of your mother's jewelry as a memento. At least that will keep some of them out of the other woman's hands.
BTW, have you tried googling her? She might be in a scam report or something.
2007-07-27 09:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by mommanuke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you a story that my great-grandma told my mother and she passed down to me:
My great great grandpa was once married and when his wife died, he was lonely. He started dating someone very soon after his wifes death. (approximately 5 months) She was younger, and when my great grandma (his daughter from his late wife) went to meet her, she was very unhappy with this particular woman. She decided that this woman was not the right one for my great great grandpa, and told him so. Her exact words were: "I NEVER want to see that woman again." Needless to say, he was crushed. He broke up with her and died a couple months later. Before my great grandma died, she said that she wished she hadn't done that because she was certain he died of loneliness and it was her fault. (End of story)
In your situation, I think that it would be ok to tell your dad what you think of her, but keep in mind that he may really be in need of someone to love him, so tell him gently, if at all. I hope everything works out for the best!
2007-07-27 09:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your father should split the jewelry between the children, grandchildren,& nieces. It seems tacky that he would give her your mother's things and even more tacky that she would wear them. Maybe she doesn't know. Give her a chance if she makes your father happy. I don't think it would be improper for you to approach your father and suggest that you help him go through your mother's personal items and spread them amoung her family as tokens to cherish and remember her by. If he suggests giving anything to Lu then you need to explain to him that he needs to purchase any gift he would like to give her and leave your mother's belongings to HER loved ones.
2007-07-27 09:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men that age can have their pick of women because so many of the males that age have kicked.
Tell him he deserves better. Make sure he understands that seeing him date is not the problem, it is just this particular woman.
2007-07-27 09:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start introducing him to women his age. Let him see he has a variety to choose from. Women his age outnumber men so he has the advantage. Talk to people you know and ask around about single elderly women.
2007-07-27 09:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you all 6 kids will tlk what is nice to your dad , then talk to your dad nd if u can keep all the jewelry if ur mom,
2007-07-27 09:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by MIla M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find him a new woman. Show him that there are other women out there that treat him better than Lu.
If that doesn't work just kick her ***
2007-07-27 09:44:29 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Crane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set him down and tell him what she is going and he might break-up with her
2007-07-27 09:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by Destiny W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋