Do you ever really get over losing your mother?

Question

My mum died in 1995 when I was 19 - and I still feel lost without her.

thanks fot the deeply personal and very moving answers - means alot to me today as am having a bad day xx

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your loss. You were very young to lose your mum, and you'll always miss her. My mum died in 1995, when I was 36. I've got grown-up sons, and my mum would've been so proud of them. I'm just so thankful to have had such a lovely mum,and try hard to be like her.

Think of the good things about your mum, and the values she instilled in you.

Answer 2

My mum died just before my 16th birthday, (few years ago now) she'd been ill for many years with arthritis which caused her an awful lot of pain, (which isn't what killed her).
It wasn't until I became a mum that I realised just how much she meant to me.
All I can say is, that you never actually get over it, you just learn to live with the pain.
You think of her at the strangest of times and sometimes it just hits you and you feel as though it was only yesterday that she went. Life seems intolerable, but you pull yourself up, shake yourself off and carry on. You have to.
It's all very well people saying 'try to remember the good times' but to be totally honest, we didn't have many as a family, (long story) and I got angry and blamed her for leaving. But in the same breath, i know that had she not have died when she did, my life would've been so much different and a lot more awful. It sounds cruel I know, but that's the truth. I wish every day that things had been different and she hadn't died, but wishes are for fools and the reality is what we have to live with or without.
Take each day as it comes and deal with it however you see fit. Yes, try to remember the good times, hopefully you had a lot more than I did, and always remember, that she is in a better place now.
xxxxxxxxxx

Answer 3

No you never really get over it, for your life will never be the same again. My mum died in 1998 aged 44. I was 24, my youngest brother just 17. All you can do is try to fill the gap that she's left in your life. You've done this successfully when you can think of your mum and smile, and not be filled with grief or anger. Also you need to be thinking about your mum as something extra in your life, not something thats missing from it. She's still looking down on you, make her proud of you.

Answer 4

It is sad to lose a family member or a friend but the loss usually gets easier as the years go by it's something all of us have to face at some time and also the fact that it happens to us all eventually.We are born we live we die this is as it has been for all time .I'm sure you will come to terms with your loss and treasure the fond memories of your mother for ever .I am sure that she would not want you to be upset for so long over her passing. The feelings of loss you have are natural and it is something we all feel about the death of a loved one.
I believe that no one really dies until there is nobody left who remembers them.

Answer 5

Hello,

(ANS) I lost my father in 2000 I know its NOT quite the same but its clear that you are still in the process of grieving for your lovely mother.

**Please can I say to you, you will know when you have completed grieving when you a) can talk about your mum without feeling hurt or upset b) don't feel lost without her anymore.

**Also one thing which I want to mention to you, is that the human psyche & our unconscious does NOT recognize time at all. So events that took place many years ago can & do come back into our thoughts & feelings as if they only happened yesterday. Hence you are still grieving for her.

Kind Regards to you, take good care Ivan

Answer 6

My mother died in March, in New Zealand where she lived for 31 years. I only saw her twice since she moved there in '76, when she moved I was devastated and felt rejected and insanely lonely. I suppose I got used to not having my parents around, so her death did not strike home as much as I thought it would. She drifted away quite peacefully in a nursing home. but not before she had the chance to hold her first great grandchild.
I was never close to her as she was cold, hard and distant, I grew up very scared of women and have never married, despite wanting to badly. We get older and hope diminishes each day.

Answer 7

I can't tell you myself, but my friends lost their mother when 1 was 7 and the other 6. Then they lost their step mother when 1 was 14 and the other 13, their dad just got married again. They never got over losing both of their moms.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mom three and half years ago. I think about her every day and cry. People tell me that it gradually gets better but the pain will never go away completely. I lost my dad 29 years ago when I was 9 and I still miss him. But it's so much harder dealing with losing my mom because she was in my life for so much longer.

Answer 9

My mom is 65 and she still cries over losing her mom which was about ten years ago.
Last year me, my daughter and my mom went to birmingham on the train. My mom had not been to birmingham for many years, well, my mom was so thrilled at going because her own mother used to go a lot to birmingham, and because my mom was walking around the shops and places that her mother used, it gave her some kind of comfort at doing this, i know it sounds strange but it's true.
You never really get over losing your mother, but, you learn to live with it and move on, but your memories will never fade.
Just take each day as it comes.
Good Luck....

Answer 10

my mothers mother (my grandmother) died 3 years ago, and my mother is still suffering from it. my mother hasnt still registered the fact in her own head that she is even gone yet.

since my Grandmother died my mother hasnt been right, or herself, and not been able to live her life like before..

its all about understanding & accepting the passing over, because if you dont accept & understand that it is someones certain time to 'pass over' then you will never move on.

and we are all on this Planet to live our own lives, not to dwell on the past/lives lost. sounds harsh, but its the only way i think people can get over there loved ones who have passed away..

im so sorry about your lose by the way

***Angel's blessings for you***

just realise that you are going to be one day reunited with your mother again, and her spirit is wit you always, caring for you in Spirit. you just have to become aware of her..

*blessed be*

Jo xxx