On my wedding day, my father in law asked my mom why my first marriage didn't work out. My mom figures he is wondering because I am "such a nice person and why wouldn't my marriage work out". My husband already explained to him months ago my ex was a greedy scam artist. Isn't that enough???
2007-07-27 07:59:47 · 18 answers · asked by penelope 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
asking or mentioning a previous marriage on your wedding day is rude! he knows enough, he does not need the entire messy story, something you probably do not want to share.
2007-07-27 08:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He might just be worried about his son. He might not know any better about how to be nice. Take the time to talk to your husband and tell him that you want to talk to his dad together. Both of you. Nicely. Make a nifty dinner and just tell him how much you love him and how you are so glad he raised such a man to be your husband. Then lovingly look him in the eye and say that you know he is uncomfortable with some things, especially your prior failed marraige. As his daughter, you want to clear any questions that he has up. Tell him he is allowed to ask you any questions he has becuase you have nothing ot hide in your marraige to his son or to the family you are now a part of. Give him an honest chance to ask questions and answer them to the best of your ability. If something he asks is out of line or makes you feel like he is preying on you then say so. Do this all in a respectful manner, and expect to be treated the same. When you are done, pat him on the back and hug him and tell him that you are amazed at how grand of a father he is. If he ever has any questions for you to just ask. But expain that it is a painful and private subject and you would rather he just talk to you about it, and if anyone else asks him you would appreciate them being directed to you. He will get the picture and he will most likely keep his mouth shut form now on. IT is always better to defuse things yourself and get on even ground with people like this, he most likely did not mean to ruffle your feathers.
2007-07-27 08:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's a better one. My rude father-in-law who offered to pay for nothing for our extravagant wedding, but strutted around the entire day like he did, was overheard by guests referring to my mother, a sweet old woman who footed the bill with money she had been saving since I was a baby, as a B%*&#. It was heard by friends of both families who were horrified and even said something to my husband and I about it. Who knows why people do such things. To get attention mostly, to stir things up, to cause drama. Feel pity for them. It's all they really deserve.
2007-07-27 08:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh c'mon... People are curious about other people. Perhaps it was a bit tactless of him to ask - not the best timing in the world - but if you think that other people don't wonder about this stuff, you're wrong. Not all will ask, but most are curious to know. Unless he's an inconsiderate a**hole all around - just let it go.
P.S. God knows how many times I had to explain why my first two marriages "didn't work out." People love to ask.
2007-07-27 08:22:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
His rudeness goes to show you what you are up against with your in laws. Didn't you have any idea what they thought of you and what problems they can inflict on you before the wedding day? It will be hard as I am sure their son will be on their side and you have a rough road to go if that is the way they are going to act toward you. I hope your husband will support you in this.
2007-07-27 08:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by oldone 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your father in law is a jerk!! Who ask that on a wedding day and especially to the mother of the bride. It's rude. Your Mom sounds like a very nice and wise woman and I'd go along with her explanation. lol
2007-07-27 08:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They are concerned about their son. This is just natural. Some people tend to assume that just because you are divorced, is because something is wrong with you.
Do not take it personal, if it would be your son, you would ask too.
Good luck
EDIT: Oh, it was on your wedding day? Not the place, not the time for that.
2007-07-27 08:03:15 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Looking back at your previous questions.... I am getting the feeling you are like many on here who ask bogus questions just to see how people respond. My answer to you is... when you get older, you will look back on this and realize how childish you were... grow up. What are we, in kindergarten?
2007-07-28 04:46:19 · answer #8 · answered by 61408:) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just worried for his son. Just show him that he has nothing to worry aboout. The more you get to know each other, the better you will get along. Just bear with him. Best Wishes.
2007-07-27 22:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is your FIL you could always talk to him about your previous relationship.
He should not have inquired about it on your wedding day though.
2007-07-27 08:05:33 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋