silent treatment?

Question

whenever I do something that my husband does not approve he gives me the silent treatment....he just ignores me and sulks...it goes to such an extreme that most of the times I feel guilty.
BTW we are in a new place and I dont have any friends..so I do not have anybody to talk to....so ultimately I have to give in....can anybody suggest any antidote of this silent treatment?

Answer 1

Just act like it doesn't bother you...I've always gotten my housework done when my ex was being a baby....don't give in if you are right!! Go for a walk around the neighborhood, or sit outside and read a magazine...don't let him think that you are bothered by it...

Answer 2

I get the same thing, not only that, but we are in a place where I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to either.

Here is what I do, it took me a while to except that this is the way my man deals, when I excepted that, the guilt (which was not justified in the first place) deminished slightly, though he is still so good at making me feel so guilty.

When most of my guilt diminished, I found that his silence was no longer disabling. That I could go about doing my things while he sits and sufferes with his own stupidity and childishness. I know it sounds harsh, but that is what he is doing. I got into reading... mostly romance novels and contemporary novels specifically about women. For me, when I read about the struggles these made up women have to go through in relationships and life, I feel less guilty, still.

I think, and it is hard for people to understand when they aren't in a situation like yours and mine where we don't really have a female confidant to expell our feminine feelings and injusticies, we start seeing everythign they way our husbands do and loose a sense of self. Which is why we experience guilt. When I can see, playing as day, that other women are going through and feeling and doing the same things I am, I feel less guilty.

Unfortunatly ;-D, you don't have control of your husbands actions, only yours, so you have to think about what you can do, what you can change to help the situation. I am not saying tip-toe around him, by any means. But, figure out how YOU can help.

Lastly, you need to explain to him how his silent treatment makes you feel. If he is anything like my husband, he is doing it because he is actually TRYING to make me feel bad and when he is in one of his moods he thinks it is justified, but it is not. We aren't kids that get put on timeout when we do something wrong, we are adults and equal to our husbands. If we feel there is an injustice, then we need to raise our voices. The key to getting this across is finding the right time and the way to say it. I.e, after sex in a sexy whisper. HAHAHA, only kidding. Set aside some time to tell him specifically how the silence makes you feel, don't be angry, just be expressive, make sure you get it all out but don't be angry. Then, of course, let him put his two cents in.

We all have habbits, and no matter how hard we try to break them, emotion is so much stronger than knowing you need to act one way, so give him some slack and let him sulk in silence every once in a while.

I hope I helped. I'm no expert or anything, just a gal trying to make it work too. I'm hear if you ever need to talk with someone.

Answer 3

He's giving you the silent treatment to make you feel guilty and apparently it's working! He's being really selfish! My boyfriend used to do that all the time, I felt really guilty and would usually be the first to apoligies.

After a while i just got sick of it. So when he started to give me the silent treatment I took the opportunity and read a good book or went out. Even if you go someplace like a bookstore or run an errand you're bound to meet some new friends. Join a gym or a club that shares the same interests as you, and just have fun. My boyfriend eventually got the hint that I wasn't going to play his games anymore and it stopped.
Even if your husband doesn't stop, you should still go out and make an effort to meet new people. It's not healthy to be around the same person constantly, and may cause more fights. So go out, meet new people, and have some fun!

Answer 4

Everyone acts differently to different situations. You didn't give any examples of what he disapproves of. What you really need to do is sit down and talk about it. If you notice him giving you the silent treatment you can either confront him with it and try to agree to disagree about the situation or you can ignore him and go on with what you are doing. Soon enough(just like a child) he will learn that doesn't get him anywhere and he might change his tactics. Have you asked him why exactly he does not approve? He can have different points of views then you. tell him that you can respect his opinion on the subject but don't happen to agree. If its something that isn't that big of deal to you but is to him maybe you can change just to make him happier. If it is a big deal you must decide. Good Luck

Answer 5

Hello:

Personally,I wouldn't even acknowledge him when he is giving you the silent treatment. Some men are just like children when they are throwing little temper tantrums and do you know what really works when men are throwing temper tantrums like a child? The best treatment is just to ignore their behavior and carry on with your everyday life.

If your husband acts irritated because you are not paying any attention to him and he finally decides to talk and says,"Well,aren't you gonna talk to me?" I would say,"I will talk to you when you can stop acting like an infant and grow up." I would make it very clear to him that his controlling and manipulative ways will not be tolerated,and if he keeps giving you the silent treatment,than I would start spending more time with my friends,or just enjoy going shopping or out to eat by myself or with a friend.

Some men think that the world revolves around them and all that women are good for is having babies,doing housework,and catering to their every need like a maid and waitress! I am tellling you that if you don't nip his immature behavior in the bud,he will just keep doing it until you stand up to him and tell him like it is.

You need to make it crystal clear to him that you will not tolerate being treated like dirt and if he keeps it up,you won't be around to put up with his childish behavior. You may want to go to marriage therapy if necessary or marital counseling if you think that is necessary! There is never,ever,any reason why someone should treat their spouse with such disrespect and using the silent treatment just because they are too childish to talk about their feelings as a mature adult, period,end of story!

Answer 6

this probably sounds stupid but you need to talk to him about this. When he is not giving you the silent treatment would probably be best,lol. Sorry I know its not a joke. The worst thing in the world is to not feel like you can talk to you spouse. besides the lonely feeling hes giving you, nothing gets solved if he just clams up at the onset of any type of disagreement. Im guessing he states his case and then ends everything by refusing to talk.That is selfish and childish. You are not someone that can or should be ignored. Your feelings and thoughts are important adn need to be heard and so do him. You can only continue to grow together if you communicate properly and not only when you are being a "good girl" Explain to him that it hurts you and makes you feel unimportant to him. I could go on and on about how important for you to feel like his equal as a partner i your marriage and not under him to be punished like a child but that would take me all day because its sooo important for you both.

Answer 7

Hi..
He's spoiled and extremely immature..And he's taking advantage of the fact that you have no one to turn to right now..
Next time he pulls that nonsense,( if you have children, leave them with him) just go out.Tell him you'll be back when he grows up!.Don't tell him where you're going..Go to a movie, the mall or wherever..
While you're out let him worry about you..Hopefully he will grow up a little anyway!
Good Luck!
STOP feeling guilty...that's what he wants you to do!

Answer 8

I would just leave the house for the day. Maybe go shoping or walk around outside somewhere, get some coffee, go to the beach and lay out. Do something that will get you out of the house and keep your mind off of that nonsense. Even though i am guilty of giving my bf the silent treatment when i get upset.

Answer 9

Get on with your thing while he is sulking and act like you are not bothered. He is calling the shots at the moment. Turn it round so that you are in control. Make him feel like he is being immature by having fun without him and he will soon realise that his sulking doesnt work and has little affect on you. Good luck!

Answer 10

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