Well, me and my boyfriend of a little over four months (the longest relationship I've ever had) just broke up. We have a business together and still want to remain friends. Things sort of ended on a confusing but still a good note. I am totally in love with him and he no longer wants to be with me in that way. Last night I talked things over with my best guy friend. It really helped to talk with him. Right after I got home from talking with him(nothing happened), my (ex)boyfriend calls and says that he is going to stop by. I was totally cool with it. We hung out for about a half hour and just talked and sat on the truck of my car. We didn't necessarily talk about the relationship; we just talked. It was great. Afterwards, we hugged and he joked, but after that he gave me a long, real hug and we said goodbye. Now I still have to see him everyday that we work. How do I move on still having to see him constantly? And how can I trust him? I am vacationing on sat. i think that will help.
2007-07-27 07:12:12 · 35 answers · asked by Jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We don't just work together. We own a business together. So far seeing him for work doesn't bother me until it becomes times to say goodbye. Then I get all teary eyed and sometimes cry.
2007-07-27 07:13:15 · update #1
First of all, Be Brave. You do actually sound like a brave woman. keep it up! I know it is tough, and I know how awkward it can get. try to be rational, and control your emotions.
Talk to those friend of yours that are "helpful". Some people just talk in ways that makes you feel miserable, and they don't even know it and mean it. anyway, just take things slowly.
I don't think that you should start going out with guys right away. Even though, I'm willing to admit that doing that will eleveate some of your sorrows and stress.
Also, I think you should let him know that this is really hard for you, being is business partner and EX(girlfriend) at the same time. It is BOTH of your responsibility to keep the work environment friendly for you and him. he sould be aware of that and make it easier on you.
meanwhile, go out with friends, shop, dine, have fun..spend time with family, pick up a few good books to read, watch movies... do things that will distract your thought from thinking about how miserable you feel.
you'll survive!
2007-07-27 07:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by kujiiiro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the vacation might put thigs in perspective for u. working that close to him on a daily basis is going to be difficult, u know that. He sounds like a cool guy and might try is best to understand where u are coming from and not open up old wounds. regardless u are going to have it twice as hard due to the fact u still have to interact with him on a professional level and still have these romantic feelings for him.
if at all possible let him know that working with him wont be a problem as long as he understands you are still in the process of moving on and at times you might be vulnerable but if he could be a friend and give u some time to adjust. he should understand and realize it is going to take some time.
u on the other hand, ur going to have to accept the fact u are firends and he doesnt want to be romantically linked to u. try to find ways to deal with it day to day and when it comes time to say goodbye, keep it at a distance and dont let him see u cry. u dont want him feeling sorry or guiltyfor being honest with u, this might make him feel as if he must keep things from u in the future. so do ur best to find an outlet for the break up, join a gym, pick up a hobby, read or hang out with some close friends.
i wish u the best!!!
2007-07-27 07:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by MoMo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let him mess with your head! You have the strength to move on. Okay you have a business together, schedule it so you are not together as best possible until you heal yourself. Go on vacation, get wild with in reason and put him out of your mind. Next time he calls to say he's coming over, tell him it's not a good time. If you have nothing going on, get in your car and drive for 30 minutes, open windows and feel the breeze. I'm in the middle of a possible divorce, when I'm away and on my own it's easy, when I'm home and he comes home it sucks. This is likely to be hard, but you can walk away. Make him miss you, don't be available. Good Luck!
2007-07-27 07:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mystress L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, are you sure he's really over you? I honestly think you should maybe give up the business with each other. If there are still feelings there, it will be really hard for you to let them go if you see him everyday. Try talking to him about the relationship. The only one who can really help here is you and ur ex.
Good luck.
2007-07-27 07:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by djc07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl...If i was you, I would MOVE ON...I've been down that road before and let me tell you...It's only hurting you when you keep holding on to something that don't want you. It WAS only 4months so that's still a newborn relationship. Sometimes we as women can get our feelings caught up real quick for someone when HE may not even be the one for you. I was in a relationship for 2years and that was my longest. YES I loved the man but it just wasn't meant to be for us. I was hurt and yes I didn't want to move on but men come and go and their not guaranteed when it comes to a relationship. Just focus on yourself and do whats best for YOU. Don't keep holding on to him because that's what he wants you to do. Just do you and if it's meant for you guys to be together, then it will happen. ENJOY the time you do have by yourself and have fun. Life is too short to be caught up on one person especially if they don't want to be with you. Also, your lowering your standards as a woman and making it seem like your not strong. Be STRONG. The right one will come weather it's him or someone else.
2007-07-27 07:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by Carmelkisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put yourself out there and date! Don't rub it in his face or anything, but the best way to get over someone is to move on to someone else! And trust me, the first time you go on a date that is absolutely fabulous will be the best feeling ever!
2007-07-27 07:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by alli8188 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face reality, you don't want someone who doesn't want you. Count your blessings that you found out how he really feels before you married him. Go out and date other guys who will want to be with you. There is a whole world full of delicious men, ripe for the picking, just be careful and date for a long, long time before you commit. Four months is not long enough usually, so if you already know it isn't right then mark one up for learning and go looking for someone else.
2007-07-27 07:19:48 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will take time. Relax on your vacation, and find something you love to do while at home. Go to that right after work every day. Find something to make you happy to come home to, a favorite painting, dog, cat, take-out menu, snack. Live for you. You shouldnt be with someone that doesnt love you just as much as you love them. Be proud that you know this now and be brave.
2007-07-27 07:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be sure he doesn't have a life insurance policy on you business partners can have one on each other. Sorry but something to think about... Cut you losses maybe he planes on not having anything more to do with the business maybe he is hoping you will not and just quit coming in. I'd get a lawyer A.S.A,P!!!!!! Seriously! NOW!
2007-07-27 07:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be stronger in this very emotional environment you are living, and in time life has a habit of working these things out . Do not forget its a possibility that its difficult for him too! Good luck to both.
2007-07-27 07:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by 121aloraphotos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋