I have heard a lot of state officiated weddings still have that "obey" thing in there.
Isn't the obey thing a little old school in this day and age?
2007-07-27 06:13:34 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My husband's father married us and he made his son promise to treat me as queen and honor me above all women so I would willingly obey and trust his judgment. It wasn't what we wrote, but Papi kinda does what he wants to anyway. I thought it was great. Sometimes we argue and my hubby says, 'Don't you remember you promised to obey woman!" and I say, 'Don't you remember you promised to treat me as a queen and honor me above all women?" Then we laugh and have hot makeup ***.
2007-07-27 06:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by biology.teacher 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh, it's time for a world-famous Rachel-rant!
I can't tell you how many weddings I have been to that keep the word "obey" in the vows...just for the woman! The man has to love and honor, sure, but the woman has to obey!
Do they even realize what this means? It makes the woman seem like no more than a servant/sex-slave.
And then there's the whole "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" business. What's up with that? I can understand why women might want to have the same last name as a man, but to go by his first name too? Talk about losing your identity!
Oh yes, there's more. The whole tradition of the father "giving away" the daughter. This symbolizes the responsibility being passed on to the husband. It maybe made sense back when women lived with their parents up until marriage, but not today. Are we going to have dowries, too!
And lastly, the whole man asking the father to marry the daughter business. What right does he have to say someone can marry his daughter? I don't care if you think it's respectful, it is incredibly offensive to the woman to assume she can't make the decision for herself.
All of these traditions are incredibly outdated and irrelevant, or "old school" as you say.
2007-07-27 13:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
It would be based on your faith. If you have a religious belief toward marriage. Some do, some don't. Many people believe you are no longer 2 individuals but you become "as one" and if 2 people try to run different directions with one life there is a split. That happens a lot.
Obey doesn't have to mean the man is cruel to you. It should mean you trust him enough that you would follow his decisions and build a life together. If you wouldn't want to do that then why would you want to marry them?
2007-07-27 13:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by foodtvfan 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The word obey was removed from our vows and the word "respect" put in. A wife or husband is not a servant to the other, but a help mate. They mutually agree on decisions in their married life.
2007-07-27 13:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by lilgraygal 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm a man who specifically requested that the "obey" part be taken out of the marriage vows when I married. My wife is not my property, my servant, or my child. She does what I ask when she agrees that it's the right thing to do. When she doesn't, we discuss the matter like two adults until we mutually decide what is best. I'm her husband, not her owner or boss.
2007-07-27 13:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Love, honor and cheish was what my vows said. And that was the choice of the judge who married us.
Our renewal was written by us, so the obey wasn't there for either of us.
2007-07-27 23:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cheese Fairy - Mummified 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not me. how many married men have taken out "love thy wife" part from their marriage vows? it goes hand in hand. the more you love us, the more we obey( and i do not mean by that that we are your subjects, or that you can treat us like dirt and we will take it.)
2007-07-27 13:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by ana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it can be in there if it is mutual, I suppose. But I still do not like the idea of either partner having to obey the other. It should be a mutual respect for each other's wishes, not obedience which smacks of a master/slave relationship
2007-07-27 13:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My husband joked around that he was going to put "Obey" in the vows, and I replied that I would amend them with "If you can make me"... ;)
2007-07-27 13:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a semi pagan wedding, and we agreed to honour each other as equals... no "obey"
My Husband asked me first to marry him, then asked my father for his blessing (Who ans I quote said "Alright, how long have you been milking it for free anyway" Thanks Pop) I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle, because I'm a daddy's girl, but he didnt give me away. It was "Who gives this woman away" "Her mother, I and her family do" which I thought was sweet. Oh, and I ddint take his name-then we freaked everyone out by jumping the broom
2007-07-27 13:28:56 · answer #10 · answered by Goddess Nikki 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋