i don't want to go because i don't want my children to be around that kind of enviornment with people like that.My mom is pissed because i don't want to go.Am i wrong for not going???
2007-07-27 05:55:30 · 10 answers · asked by sassy 1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I dont blame you one bit for not wanting to go, but is this a set up to make you look bad, or an olive branch? You might want to explore that a little bit. I've received hostility from some family for my interracial relationship, and eventually (7 yrs later) they tried to make ammends. Nothing wrong with you asking how you & your kids would be treated. If they're open about their opinions, be open about yours. (in a non accusatory/confrontational way)
I totally understand you're need to protect your kids, but also understand that you cant protect them forever....you didn't mention how old they are but eventually, they will be exposed to these issues. Kids are young, not dumb, make sure you address the race issue at an appropriate age, so they know they can talk to you when they struggle with race, and they will.
Good Luck, I hope things work out for you!
2007-07-27 06:07:18 · answer #1 · answered by Melicita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that when you're mom is ready to reconcile and allow you back into the family she can do it by inviting you to a party where you're obligated to go by emotional manipulation.
Firstly, she should've talked to you about your relationship and resolve the past issues so that the BOTH of you are at peace. Now she is just creating yet another difficult situation. How does she expect you and your children to feel comfortable and wanted at the "family" event if you don't know where you all stand?
You may want to question whether your mom sincerely wants you to be there or if she is acting this way on purpose. She may be already anticipating that the end result would be you two arguing and going on yet another long stretch of not talking.
Feel guilty about nothing. Stick to your guns and get the apology you deserve before you attend any family function.
2007-07-27 13:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by christyn79 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that the family has learned to think in a new way? Personally I'd try to take this as a gesture of reconciliation on their part and go with my kids. But I'd also make sure that we had the means to leave at any time if I had to.
I'm multi-racial too. To simpfy I have Native American, Mexican, German, and Swedish blood in my background and have dark brown hair and eyes along with a perpetual tan. I've got to say that I have a couple of uncles that still don't "get" it. I still have to explain why my kids can have blond hair and blue eyes and my oldest is 12 now.
But I have a point here. Being around family that's still a bit insensitive won't kill your children or else I and my siblings would have shriveled up and died. If your kids are secure in who they are they should be able to deal with minor problems like this extremely well.
And maybe they can help me write my next lecture on the science of genetics with emphasis on the recessive gene. Do you think a whole bulletin board presentation would be overkill? ;-)
2007-07-27 13:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this may have been your mother's attempt to reconcile with you by inviting you to the anniversary party. If she has indicated that in any way, then I believe you should reconsider. It is hard to make gigantic mistakes like disowning you and have a good outcome. She probably regrets being so harsh and would like to make amends. That too is really hard to do when you are not listening and not wanting to be near her. Think about it a while before you make a final decision. Good luck!
2007-07-27 14:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by oldknowitall 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she would like the wall to come down. Don't take the kids, but start a small conversation and be socialble if you care, don't if you don't. The interest of your children is as you say a bit more complicated and needs to be addressed in a much more personal way by your parents than just throwing them into the mix of a party after being absent forever. Weird.
2007-07-27 13:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is the family going to react to your children. If it were my children I would not have them around people that have already disowned me, because of my children being bi racial. I would not take the chance of some ignorant person saying some thing to them
2007-07-27 13:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong....think about, you are disowned from the family, yet invited to a party where it's customary to bring a gift? They are out for the loot and nothing more.
2007-07-27 13:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an unvite. They know you don't get along but they sent you the invite anyway. That way when you don't show up, YOU look like the bad guy and they look like they tried to reach out to you.
2007-07-27 12:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Chris O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you fell you are going to be very uncomfortable then dont go but if you think you can handle it go ahead show them that you are not going to stoop to their level you are the bigger and better person
2007-07-27 13:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by nisha10mabry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's time to disown them,don't you think?
2007-07-27 16:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by Butch46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋