Ok, so I am getting married in August! And my best friend was supposed to be my matron of honor, but my sister said that if she wasn't it, she wouldn't be in my wedding! So my best friend said, let her do it! So my sister is supposed to be my matron but she was the last to order her dress and it wasn't until 3 minutes before the deadline! Also, she just called in a random size, she wouldn't go get fitted! She only works 3 days a week, she had the time! And then she told me I have to pick up the dress for her! Also, she said she was trying to plan a party but the woman wouldn't get back to her so I called the woman and she said it was my sister who wouldn't call her back! And my sister thinks i should use her son over my own for the ring boy! I want my son to do it! Why is she acting like this and should I just have my best friend who is taking me out be the matron again? Oh and my mom had to pay for her dress because she wasn't going to! She has 2 kids and is such a child! What do I do
2007-07-27 05:54:14 · 23 answers · asked by kricketcarr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ok, for those of you saying tell my mom, she was supposed to make my cake and backed out last minute so now I am making my own cake! And her and my sister are up one anothers' a**! Also, I did move far away and they still give me hell! Oh and they love my fiance' just not me because my sister has always been jealous of me because I was a swan and she was an ugly duck, but it wasn't my fault and she always held it against me! Every time I see her she says something degrading to hurt me, i think she is just jealous again but I don't get along well with her twin(my mom) either so i don't want to piss her off because then she will start all over again! I am having a crisis and I just don't even want to have a ceremony anymore but we already invested so much into it! AHhhhhh..
2007-07-27 06:29:31 · update #1
And the wedding is August 18th!! only 3 weekends left for her to step up!
2007-07-27 06:31:03 · update #2
Honestly.... I know she is your sister but it seems like she only wants the part of being the matron to say "I was the matron at my sisters wedding." If I were you I would tell her that your truly sorry but you have decided that your best friend is going to be your matron and leave it at that. You know that she will still show up, maybe angry for a little while but the matron is not an easy task and part of her job is to help you in crazy times and it seems like she is just making things crazier! Congrats and remember that ITS YOUR WEDDING DAY!
2007-07-27 06:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to read the book BOUNDARIES by: Dr. Henry Cloud andDr. John Townsend
It doesn't matter what they do, you will not make anyone happy. Stick to plan #1. Let your best friend do the whole 9 yards. Tell your sister the day and time of things and that if she wants to be in the wedding she will be there with that dress on. If she does not pick it up or get it fitted it is not your problem. Let your best friend do the party stuff and for the sake of peace hire the cake to be made! It is still not too late to do that! If they come up with a separate party, go, if they show up to be in the wedding, fine, you can have TWO matrons! OR a matron and a maid of honor! I had BOTH! Do not even comment on the ring bearer thing any more. Your son has that place and you do not think that it is necessary to involve both kids at this point. You just say, "Jimmy has it covered! What else do you want to talk about?" Do not let them push you! You make the decisions and let them be mad. They are going to be mad ANYWAY. If she gets the dress and it fits she can walk down the isle. You will save her a place. If she doesn't make it, OH WELL. Have a good day for YOURSELF and your son and your man! Fmailies are amazing aren't they?
2007-07-27 07:33:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should have gone back to your friend at the first sign that your sister was going to be such a pain in the butt. It is clear that your best friend is very understanding and if it's not too late I would go with the friend. There is no reason why your sister should act this way other than she is jealous or selfish and wants to be the center of attention, despite the fact that it's your wedding. Get your friend to be the Matron and your son to be the ring bearer. It's obvious that if your sister wants to be this way BEFORE the wedding, she is going to be a pain in the butt AT the wedding. I'm sorry for you that she has to be that way. It seems that every family has someone like that. Your sister needs to learn that she cannot manipulate people that way. If the whole family would get together on this and all tell her at the same time she would either accept it or not be around to ruin your happiest of days. It sounds harsh, I know, but it seems your sister shows no mercy so you shouldn't either, especially on an occasion such as this. Remember, it's your day, your wedding and your plans. People can either be a part of it or they can stay at home and play Xbox. It's their choice to be a part of what you plan. If they don't want to be part of it, then so be it. I'm sure everyone would have a better time anyway if they're there to be pains in the butt. And before I get off my soap box, I would keep that friend of yours and hang on for dear life. Heck I wish I could meet a woman as cool as her. Good luck and I wish you and your hubby the best. If your sister keeps giving you grief, get her drunk until she passes out and put her on a train to Mexico.
2007-07-27 06:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by ndn_ronhoward 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a crappy sister you have!!
Honestly, you may be too far into this to see what the right thing to do is. BUT - think about this: if you tell your sister FORGET IT, she's out of the wedding, what's going to happen? Probably the exact same thing that would have hapened if you had told her that in the first place!!
If she stays in the wedding, you are going to have more stress, wind up doing everything yourself, and hurt those that are the real ones who care and are working to make your wedding great by replacing them with your sister. Plus, she's not going to be any better by getting her way. So if you kick her out of the wedding, she's still a brat, but at least you get a nicer wedding!
What's the worst that could happen? She stops talking to you? Sounds like a good thing!
I feel for you because I had practically the same thing happen to me with someone who was like my sister, but a total flake. I wound up hurt, as well as hurting others because I thought I had to do it a certain way, and my friend never even knew the difference, or how horrible she was being because she's just that self-centered. (I wound up eloping, by the way)
You can try saying something like, "Look, this is n't working, you have done _______ when I really need ______, and I have so much stress that I am going to need more help. So, I am making _____ my maid of honor. Hopefully you understand, and if you don't, then maybe someday you will." Then pray that your friend is not too hurt to step up to the plate still....
2007-07-27 07:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have both of my sisters being in my wedding (one is matron and one is bridesmaid)...they are both under 16. If it's important to you to have your sister be in your wedding then do whatever your comfortable doing to make sure she's a part of it. (Such as picking up her dress). I dont know how close you are, but you may try talking to her about her attitude and that you find it disrespectful of her to disregard how important it is to you that she look good as well. My sisters have not helped me AT ALL. I expected that, I had to buy there dresses and I had to take them to get fitted. I had to pay for the long distance phone calls to the seamstress...so really, just ask yourself how important it is to have her in the wedding. If not so much, then tell her if she doesnt want to be bridesmaid that's fine, you can find someone else---or have no one at all.
It's no big deal really, your making a life change (a huge one) and having a missing bridesmaid should be the least of your thoughts.
2007-07-27 06:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by enriquelomasa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I wouldn't have caved in to the sister and make her a MOH, but since you did, you need to either ask her to act like an adult or step down from the wedding party, even if it is close to the wedding.
Kick her out, have your friend be the MOH as she should have been, ignore sister crying and saying she won't be at the wedding (perhaps, if she does come, have someone watch over her so she doesn't try to ruin your wedding day!).
Deal with one less bridesmaid. Have the best man and a groomsman walk down the aisle with the MOH when the time comes.
2007-07-27 08:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I would tell your sister to take a hike and keep,out of your life until the day she can show that she has matured enough to show some respect for you. She doesn't deserve to be at your wedding. I would apologise to the friend and request that she does the honour of being your maid. As for the Paige Boy, use your son! He is your direct descendant and it's more or less his birthright to do well by his mother. You have the responsibility of putting your own children first. Sadly, families can cause more problems than they are worth. If somebody doesn't like your partner (they don't need a reason) they will do everything possible to destroy your relationship. Then there's the interference, if you don't split up. Family will continuously interfere in your personal life and take your partners side when you have a tiff. The pressure is not worth it. My advice is to get married, with your friend as Maid of Honour and your son as Paige Boy and if your family start digging the knives in your back, consider moving as far away as you can. You may lose contact with some family members but it will be worth it for all the years of peace that you will get.
2007-07-27 06:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by kendavi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is trying to get in on some of your spotlight. Those demands are ridiculous. There's a better way to suggest or ask in regards to your wedding. Demands should not be taken seriously. You don't need the added stress. Put your foot down. Theres no reason why you can't have two matron/maid of honors. She's not taking your wedding seriously if she wouldn't even get fitted. Sounds like your sister is just making tons of demands & not making things easier. I'm sorry you're going through this. :(
Her attitude towards you & your wedding does not sound like she would be matron of honor material, even if she is your sister. (my opinion)
2007-07-27 06:04:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is why people elope.
Look, your sister is being a heifer about the whole thing.
This is YOUR wedding. Do what YOU want to do. If she's going to be a pain in the butt about all this, let her stay home. She's really insecure and manipulative. Why is she being so hateful and demanding? Is she jealous or what?
I'd tell her, "look, you're my sister and I love you, but this is my wedding, my day and all you're doing is trying to run everything with no regard for my feelings. You can either do this the way I want, or we'll get married without you".
Don't let her bully you. How would she like it if you did her this way? I think she'd be LIVID, that's what I think.
Do your own thing kiddo. And kiss & make up (or not) with her later.
Geeezzzzzzz......!!!!
2007-07-27 06:28:31 · answer #9 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am confused. Is it your wedding or your sisters wedding?
It is YOUR wedding - you call the shots.
I would tell your sister that your son is going to be the ring bearer because it is your wedding and it is your decision (you and your fiancee).
I would also tell her that if she does not get off her butt and do everything she needs to, your best friend will be the matron of honor, give her some deadline.
Personally, I dont think you should have allowed her to push you to change your mind on the matron of honor. Me and my wife made a similar mistake at our wedding and we regret it to this day.
Good Luck.
2007-07-27 06:14:44 · answer #10 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋