Recent breakup is making me crazy?

Question

Almost 4 weeks ago, my bf of over a year officially cut our relationship off and I was totally agreeing to this, seeing as how the previous month or so he had been very distant with me, and even broke it off once, but then changed his mind (possibly due to me balling my eyes out and calling him for anwers).
We were totally in love for over a year, planned on eventually getting married, and even picked out future baby names...then he suddenly decided out of the blue that he was no longer "happy" and didnt feel like we should be together. But he also said he didnt know what might happen in the future and that we needed to break it off. I eventually agreed with him, as i didnt want to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt want to be with me.
We were still chatting on-line, and I have his e-mail password, and was checking to see if he was talking to girls. Sure enough, he was asking girls out, even ones he called skanky and crazy. So, now i am going nuts. I need advice!!!

Answer 1

OK, sweetie, here's my lesson....

It was wrong for you to check his own personal e mail. Let him do what he wants, he's just trying to get over you. I know from personal experience, so trust me on this one. He didn't expect you to just let it go. He wanted you to throw a fit and tell him that you loved him. He wanted you to be weak and raise his confidence. So now he's going to date around and date all those whores just so you'll see he doesn't need you.

Here's what you do: Be tough, be strong, and don't sink down to his level. Ignore him, you're over it! Let him have his life and DON'T ever get on his e mail account again. Let him screw his own life up. Don't you dare date to make him jealous, it'll give him satisfaction. Only date if you care for the person, that's what dating is. In fact, not dating will make him even madder. He sounds like the type of jerk that dislikes independent girls. Just because he needs a relationship in his life doens't mean you do.

If he comes back whining that you "broke his heart" don't fall for it. You weren't in love if he's being such a jerk. You were infatuated with this loser; and please, don't let it happen again.

He's trying to get under your skin. Don't let him, shake him off and live your life. Be strong, girl, it's hard, I know, I KNOW, but you can do it.

Answer 2

Girl I would leave it alone no matter how hard it is. He is a player. It doesn't matter how he acted when he was with you. Now that he is a single man he will act in a whole different way.

I was in the same situation it was almost a year me and my bf were together and my bf's ex came in back into town and he left me for her. We had just moved into our own place 3 weeks earlier and he just didn't come home one Saturday night. The next morning my girlfriend came over and asked me if I knew where he might be and I told her his ex's maybe.

She knew where she lived and took me over there. And sweetie it was the worst feeling I have ever felt seeing his truck in this other girls driveway. All he told me when he finally answered the door was he wasn't happy and just decided to go out with her and stay the night. I made him move out that same day. He was with her for a week and by then he had heard that I had been going out every night and everything I was doing and who I was with. Sometimes it takes showing that you don't care for them to realize what they have lost. They don't realize until they lost it in most cases. I hope this guy is worth it cause you are better than that. I have no room to talk cause I took him back only after two weeks. YOu need to decide if you can handle getting back together to if he comes around. The worrying and wondering if he was with another woman will drive you more crazy everyday more than you are now. Not a day goes by thinking of what he put me through and sleeping with another woman. GOOD LUCK IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST EMAIL ME. [e-mail] my name is sara.

Answer 3

Maybe he broke up with you because you guys were talking about such serious things like baby names and stuff that he got kind of scared and decided that he needs to have more "single" life before he settles down. Usually when guys go straight for other girls after a break up especially skanky ones he is just trying to make himself feel better and is trying to forget about you too. Play hard to get, don't call him or msg him it will make him start to wonder what you are doing and if you guys are meant to be together you will be. Make him be the one to crawl back and beg for your love if he doesn't he's not worth it and you deserve much better!

Answer 4

C'mon hunnie, u r so better off w/o him ;)

Firstly, stop sneaking around his e-mail as it will just drive u more insane and u can't concentrate on anything

Go straight to a period of no contact, face off the earth and make him wonder which includes no more IMing, no emails, no calls, no texts. Curiosity kills the cat ;)

After a while, when he becomes sobber, he might regret for breaking up with u, by that time providing that u've moved on and improved urself so much u won't probably want him

For the meantime, no contact and keep busy

Cheers

Answer 5

Sounds like you got your answers - good for you for going with your gut instinct - it usually isn't wrong. So what he's doing in saying he "[doesn't] know what might happen in the future" is trying to keep you in limbo in case things don't work out with whoever he's fooling around with now. He wants to leave the door open and is playing games. You deserve better than that. You deserve to be the leading lady in his, or any guy's, life and if he's not giving that to you then later days for him. The best thing you can do is cut off all contact with him, pick yourself up by keeping busy with friends or anything, and move forward without him - b/c he's moving forward without you.
Sorry - I know it hurts, but you can get through it.

Answer 6

I think it is possible that he got freaked out by all this "future" planning you guys have been talking about. Guys can get very weird when it comes to talking about marriage and kids, especially if you are still young. Also, if his friends are not in long-term relationships they could have had influenced him into getting out while he is still young. Buddies need other buddies around them to hang out and pick up girl with and a buddy that is attached is no fun in this case.
I think, as painful as it is, you are gonna have to let him go. You deserve better and will find someone that is ready to have a long-term relationship with you if this is what you are seeking. Girls just mature faster than guys. Hang in there and get support from your friend and family.

Answer 7

I Too Was Pushed out
Without answers
Its Best To Try Forget him
Its been 4 months for me
and for the fist 3 months
all i did was Cry!
Now I Cried so Much
I Cant Even Cry Anymore
Is that posible?
I cant even Shed one Tear For anything!
But yes Try move on
God knows he probably has
Its hard to understand the mind of a man!
He could hug and kiss you one minute
And next thing you kno your pushed out of his life!
and Maybe you Were taking thingsa a Little Fast!
And He Got Scared?
Boys Are Weird!
Well I hope i helped!
:)

Answer 8

Hi! I feel for you, honestly I do. Sometimes guys think they need a break to see what's out there. You have one of several options.

a: wait around for him and see if he comes back!
b: open up your eyes and your heart and see what else is out there for you!
c: keep yourself up at night crying and wondering what you did wrong!

I vote for b! If you and him do get back together, make sure you are safe sexually and emotionally! No man is worth a lot of pain. It can really bring you down. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl and can find someone who not only loves you but respects you and can give you what you need in a relationship. Not someone who wants to play games.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

First of all, you need to remove the temptation to snoop through his e-mail; the information's obviously causing you more anguish than it's worth, since you can't control his communications and already had suspicions about what he was doing anyway. You don't have to confess that you've been peeking, but you might want to suggest to him that he consider changing it.

After that, maybe you need to give him a dose of distance yourself and concentrate on relationships with people who are straightforward enough with you that you don't feel the need to read their e-mail messages to figure out what they're really thinking and feeling about you.

Answer 10

Sounds like you're better off without him . He just wants to be a player then when he's ready to settle down come crawling back to you the same thing is going on with my teenage daughter . They made plans too then for no reason he dumped her and now wants her back theres no other girl though his mom made him break up with her . Just move on find someone who appreciates the great person you are he's not worth your tears!