I often cover the secretary who goes on holiday (about 3-4 times a year). Every time she goes away, the boss' wife comes into the office whilst I'm there. She'll say, "Good girl" to me, even though I'm in my late 30's. Also, if I need to speak to her husband (my boss) on the phone and if she happens to be there, she listens intently and has also said on one occasion "Don't you get asked to leave if you do something wrong?" It's now getting to the point where I dread her coming in. What should I do/think of her behaviour? She's not in the office today and now my boss wants to know when I'm next going to be working here (I finish today!!)
2007-07-27 03:34:33 · 9 answers · asked by The way I are 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You can't do anything about this but learn how to live with it. I would not listen to those who said speak to your boss. If you do you are going to end up putting him in a position where he will have to make a decision and he will decide on his wife, not you. This can be very uncomfortable. I think I would take my lunch when she is there if possible and save whatever messages or discussions with him until after she leaves. Also as far as her calling you "good girl" - how demeaning. I think I would look up at her and say "thanks girl" with a smile. Many situations can be overcome with a pretense at humor. Maybe she will get it. Oh yes, and don't even think about taking her off to the side for a talk. That will give her the excuse and opportunity to say who knows what to her husband about you. I'm afraid if you want to keep this job you just have to suck it up and put up with it. I bet you are better looking than she is. That's probably what's at the bottom of this - her insecurity with her husband. Good luck. Oh one more thing. If you have a boyfriend or husband, put their picture on your desk.
2007-07-27 14:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by Violet c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll try to help.
I find it odd that your boss' wife comes in when the regular secretary is gone.
Maybe you are young, beautiful and talented and she's "keeping an eye" on you. She may not trust her hubby. Or is just jealous. You may want to confide in her that you are so in love with and devoted to your wonderful hubby.
I know that the "Good Girl" thing can be v-e-r-y a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g. You could bark at her like a dog --- no that wouldn't be good. If you could find an appropriate time and place to pull her aside (not infront of your boss) and say that you've been wanting to ask her a favor to not call you a girl because it kinda offends you. You could start the conversation with something like: "I know you don't mean it this way, but when you call me a "good girl" it just rubs me the wrong way...again, it's not you....it's me." IMPORTANT: Tell her something you like about her before and after you tell her to stop using that phrase.
Keep your relationship with your boss separate from the relationship with his wife. You wouldn't want him to "pick sides."
Her saying "Don't you get asked to leave if you do something wrong" may also be interpreted that she's doing something wrong by eavesdropping....... Be brave and stand up for yourself with love in your heart not anger and you can approach anyone about anything.
Best of luck to you.....
2007-07-27 10:49:18 · answer #2 · answered by Deneen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should speak to your boss ( her husband ) about her behavior. Tell him that you find it uncomfortable the way she speaks to you and ask him to speak to her about her behavior. She may be the boss' wife, but she should have no hold on you and not make you unhappy. She doesn't pay your checks does she?
Put it in a way that you don't sound like a complainer, but that you just want a comfortable working environment.
Good Luck
2007-07-27 10:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by 3rd LIFE 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like a small business environment since she is always there and secondly, sounds like she has no life, hence her coming to your boss'swork all the time.
Here's what I see happening, you'll be reporting to her with in the year. Your boss will make her the office manager or HR or something to keep her busy and motivated.
2007-07-27 10:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get another job or just deal with her behaviour as part of it. Don't try to get the boss to correct her or you will loose. This is a battle that you cannot win and just have to deal with.
It is not fair but my son was just fired for something similar. The wife/girlfriend always wins...always.
2007-07-27 10:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by Texas Cowboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bite your tongue and ignore the rich b****! At least she isn't your boss. "Good girl" that's helirous!!! Just start thinking about how retarted she is and laugh... You know how she is so try to act like she is a fly on the wall...
2007-07-27 10:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says girl again clear your throat look directly at her and say "GIRL?" with a questioning look on your face - she will get the hint if you do that often enough.
2007-07-27 11:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boss and tell him how show is making you uncomfortable and how it is interfering with your job.
2007-07-27 10:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by cosmicsurfrer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest speaking to him about her inappropriate comments and mayeb suggest that it creates allow work moral.
2007-07-27 11:05:22 · answer #9 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋