If someone was at my son's wedding and he did not receive a card, should he ask that person in case it was lost or just let it go?
2007-07-27 03:21:25 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would recommend that your son send a thank you note to the person in question. Make it a general thank you that the person was able to make it to the wedding, etc. If that person did give a gift, they will probably call and ask why it wasn't mentioned in the note. I would definitely not suggest bringing up the lack of a gift, even if it is just in case, because gifts aren't required from guests.
2007-07-27 06:26:13 · answer #1 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe letting it go is the best policy.
If the person came, then you should just assume that they were there to celebrate the joy of the day, not that they came to free-load.
Additionally, if that person is having financial problems, it would embarass them to call them out on not bringing a gift.
I get the gist of your question, however: If the person came and gave a card with a check in it, but it was lost, wouldn't they want to know so that they could stop payment on it?
I think it's very kind of you to worry about such a thing. In today's world of ID theft and credit farud, it's nice that you worry about other people's well-being.
If the check was lost or stolen, chances are a bank isn't going to cash it for someone to whom the check was not written. Banks are really stepping up their security features, so I think it's relatively safe to say that this person will not suffer any trouble.
You are right to be concerned, but again, if the person didn't bring a gift, it would be bad manners and poor taste to call them out on it.
I would just go along as though nothing was wrong.
A card should still be sent, thanking this person for attending. If they contact the bride or groom and say, "Hey, you didn't say anything about the card I gave you or the check/cash. Did you receive it?" Then it would be okay to breach the subject. In that case, you would be letting them bring it up first.
I hope you have a great day!
2007-07-27 03:41:49 · answer #2 · answered by diva_500 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question. I would just let it go, but send a thank you note for coming. If the gift is not mentioned in the thank you and there was a gift, then the guest can contact you.
By the way, did the guest buy you a shower gift? Are they short on cash? Maybe they could only afford one gift.
I did have a guest (past coworker too!) that did not give a gift. I knew she wouldn't anyway because she "got sick" right before my shower too. She was there for the free meal.
She "got ill " also right before my baby shower too.
I know weddings are expensive, but I would have understood if she could afford a shower gift over the wedding gift (had other friends do this), but to not give anything- it did not have to be expensive!
Hope that helped you.
2007-07-27 03:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by chickemama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, let it go. If a person attends a wedding, they are under no obligation to give a gift, and I would be afraid to offend that guest by asking about a card.
You are nice to ask this question! Some people would just ask about a card, and stick their feet in their mouth by saying something.
2007-07-27 03:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go, my husbands brother did not even give us a card or a gift and he was in the wedding. But when the other brother got married last month, they bought him a very expensive wedding gift. Sometimes you have to let things go so they do not cause you to get frustrated with other things.
2007-07-27 04:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by Va princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go. If it was lost, there's probably no way to recover any cash and if it was a check, the guest will probably notice that it never cleared their checking account. We received a card with nothing in it from one couple that came to our wedding. My theory is that the guy was supposed to put the money in, but decided to keep it for himself. No way was I getting in the middle of that!
2007-07-27 03:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send them a Thank You note with a message thanking them for coming. You should anyway since your son invited them to celebrate with them, not in hopes they would bring him a good card with money or a gift...at least I hope so.
If they gave a card and it was somehow misplaced they will know because your son didn't mention a thank you for the gift as well and call to straighten out the situation.
2007-07-27 19:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Not everyone is going to give a card at a wedding.
2007-07-27 03:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Send a thank you for attending note. If they did actually give a card with a check in it, at some point they are going to ask you why it wasn't cashed. If they don't then all is well.
2007-07-27 04:58:19 · answer #9 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we are talking about the guest not bringing a card, then let it go. Cards and presents are NOT why you invited someone to a wedding. Selfish. Tacky. Small. Low. Common.
Now, some weddings are exclusive and by invitation only. It is customary for people to present their invitation to the doorman to gain entrance. If your guest forgot to bring his invitation with him - and you know him, by all means allow him in - but if you - or the bride or groom don't know him (have them meet the guest in person to be sure) then you are within your grounds to ask them to leave - politely of course.
2007-07-27 03:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋