I have a friend who has ulcerative colitis, which means she has horrible non-stop diarrhea sometimes and has to eat a restrictive diet. I truely feel sorry for her because of her condition and I can't imagine what she's going through.
The problem is that she talks about it constantly. We meet up once a week at a coffee shop and she is always updating me and our other friends on her health status. She'll say things like "I spent most of my day in the bathroom," or "I had an accident at work- it's a good thing I had an extra pair of pants." She has kind of a loud voice, and I feel like everyone can hear our conversation.
I want to be supportive and sensitive, but I don't want to hear about diarrhea over coffee anymore. What should I do?
2007-07-27 03:11:54 · 14 answers · asked by Suze N 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Unfortunately a lot of folks that develop health problems seem to dwell on them, as your friend is doing. I've found no way of dealing with them other than to change the subject as soon as it comes up. Sometimes I think it is the medication talking when they continue to discuss their ailments, but I still try to gently go on to more suitable subjects of conversation.
I feel for all of you, but I really doubt your friend is going to stop talking about her disease unless you tell her how you feel and even then, she may be so wrapped up in dealing with it, that it's all she really has to talk about.
2007-07-27 04:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by EvilWoman0913 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are with your friend in private, you could just tell her what you have told us: you'd rather that she didn't talk about her diarrhea over coffee. You're obviously sensitive to your friend's condition and have empathy for her, but she may not realize what effect her words are having on others... the disease is a natural part of her life so she might not realize that others are shocked by it. I'm also sorry for your friend and I hope that she enjoys good health in the future.
2007-07-27 19:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you care about her and you're sorry for what she is going through, but that it really just grosses you out and embarasses you when she talks about it in public.
Someone else mentioned a support group...that sounds like a good suggestion as well.
You don't want her to think you don't care about her, but she is definitely not considering your feelings either. Just talk to her about it.
My mom tends to be that way too, and there's nothing I can do about it cuz she's stubborn, and she's my mom. If I had a friend like that, I'd probably be too annoyed to be friends with them.
2007-07-27 04:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by lookoutthewindow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a polite voice tell her this is not the place to talk about it. Because its not fair to the other people around you to listen to whats going on with her. That and if your trying to eat and you can hear her it must not be very fun.
2007-07-27 03:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by whitehawk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand were your coming from my wife has the same condition and talks about it alot. the bad thing is when i said something a week later we found out she may have colorectal cancer, it really seems to help to talk to a good friend because this can turn into a very evil diesase. i try to include things we do togther that my wife and 3 kids can do on her limits
2007-07-27 03:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by robert a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say perhaps she rally needs to talk about it because it takes over her life and her talking about it gives her some control of the situation.
That being said, perhaps next time she brings it up over coffee, you could Say "How about we talk about something a little more pleasant?" She probably never realized how crude this talk is as it is normal fr her to experience this.OR you could start talking about a recent yeast infection you had and see if she realizes how inappropriate it is to talk about certain things in company.
2007-07-27 03:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Haha - nicely i had a gay coworker who used to think of it replace into humorous to place gay porn photographs up on his noticeboard for each individual to be sure. and additionally this guy i be responsive to works with somebody who owns a swingers club as his 2nd job so he's often talking approximately his eyes huge close events lol.
2016-09-30 21:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by geissel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky one, since she already has you cornered!
This person is insensitive to the feelings of others, desperate for attention, and unwilling to stop embarrassing you.
You will have to tell her straight out that you don't want to hear it any more. If she persists, you will have to dump her, or else consent to being her emotional rubbish bin for the rest of your life.
2007-07-27 03:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her in the nicest way possible to shut up about the "disease".........she is only wanting your attention, and she is ruled by this. her life is ruled by what she eats and where it goes, so tell her she is more than that, and furthermore, that is not a topic to discuss in public, and really it is a private matter............huh, i would have to evaluate my friendship and tell her for her own good that the topic is too disgusting to discuss anymore and hopefully she will follow this much needed advice.
2007-07-27 03:28:29 · answer #9 · answered by alex grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her point out blank in person, NO HEALTH UPDATES during lunch/breakfast/dinner/dining out anywhere with me! Or cut her off and tell her THAT YOU HEARD IT ALL BEFORE!
2007-07-27 03:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋