My wife parents play favorite. They are quite open that they prefer the company of one of her sisters. That sister was the favorite of the parents forever. Having one sister the favorite of the parents has had an emotional affect on my wife. She has always felt like a step child and has been emotionally hurt by the whole thing.
I asked the parents why they play favorites and just got mad but did agree that the favorite daughter did get special attention. They just said the chemistry was better with the favored sister.
How about you, did your parents play favorites when you were growing up? Do they have a favorite now? How has it affected you?
2007-07-27 03:00:39 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents did, and all it did was make me more independent, and I don't play favorites with my own children.
2007-07-27 03:04:56 · answer #1 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents never owned up to playing favorites, but we all know my sister is their favorite. However, the reason she is the favorite is because she allows them to lay the guilt trips on her. My other sisters and I do not play that game.
2 of my sisters are estranged from the family because of it. I visit my mom regularly and have fun with her and enjoy her company. I do occassionally tease her about Mary being the favorite, but generally just enjoy her company. So it hasn't really affected me much other than it's made me quite independent.
I'm sorry you wife has to deal with that. Hopefully she can just enjoy her parents while she still has them and don't bring up this point if it causes arguments. Life is too short to worry about things that can't change.
2007-07-27 04:11:13 · answer #2 · answered by Jane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I joke around with my husband that the 2 year old is his and the 6 month old is mine. I love them both so much and I spent a lot of alone quality time with my toddler for the first year of her life. But the baby is so good. Rarely cries, is always happy, and is a total mommy's girl. My toddler is in her terrible 2's. I think she got it worse than most. So as of right now I prefer the company of the 6 month old more. In a couple years I will change my mind when she hits her toddler years. But I love them both SOOO much.
As for my husband, he definitely favors the 2 year old. She's daddy's girl and he spoils her rotten and barely pays attention to the baby. I have had many talks with him about this. It's just not right.
2007-07-27 03:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never felt I was a favorite, but of the first 3 of us born out of 5, the other two remember me being my dad's favorite. I disagree, but that's what they think.
I have noticed my mom seems to favor the last two born...the boys. Especially the first son born. I don't feel upset by that, but it is noticeable in her opinions of them and actions around them.
I hope I don't show a favorite, but I am afraid that a close friend of mine was correct when she said I favor my second child. I didn't think I did, until someone recently made a remark about "person" that wasn't true and was unkind. I felt bolistic inside, but didn't act on it. Years ago I would have been all over them!!!!
I treat all my babies fairly, and have a different personal relationship with each one. In everyday life I know I am equal towards them, but when pressed, I guess I do favor the second one.
2007-07-27 03:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mom did that to me. My sister was her favorite and it was very VERY obvious to me and everyone else around us. It made for a very hard childhood. I basically raised myself. And, was told all the time I should be more like my sister (and she was the little sister). It was very hurtful until I got older, then it made me independant because I knew I could only count on myself (until I met my husband).
As far as my kids, NO I do not play favorites. One, I know the results of it. Two, how could you. I love my kids equally, and very much at that. BUT...there are things about each of my children that makes me love EACH OF THEM more...not more then the other one, but their personaliies make them more unique. I do beleive that you can love your kids in different ways without treating any of the different. My oldest is a girly girl like me, and I love that!! My middle one is so out there, she is funny, and she just says the craziest things, and that is her special part for me. And, my baby girl should of been our boy, she is very adventourous and wild, not to mention stubborn, but all of those things make her her, and makes me love her more. NOT MORE THEN THE OTHERS just more. Like the other two's uniqueness make me love them more. So, I think that it is okay to take one shopping and one to the football field. But, not to praise one and not the other. Not to recongnize them for the precious angels they are. Or to compete them against each other! I could never pick a favorite out of my children! They are all mine! And, that is all there is to it. I don't understand how parents can do that.
2007-07-27 03:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by chris_n_chrisie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother openly puts her 2 sons before her 4 daughters. Frankly at 54 I stopped looking for her approval years ago. Your wife cannot change her parents, and she needs to distance herself from them. I hope she had the guts to tell her parents that they are wrong and that isn't the way to raise a child and it has hurt her. I wouldn't let them get away with that sort of justification. However, she needs to understand that they aren't changing, the only person she can change is herself. I raised my daughters differently, and I broke the cycle. I hope you did too.
2007-07-27 03:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband has only one brother, younger than him. No matter what bad things (eg cheating her of her money, never visited her for years despite of living 45 mins away) he did to his parents, my MIL would see him as perfect. And no matter how well her elder son or we treat her, it is never enough and she complains and nags to my husband all the time. Her world is centred around her younger son, she adores him, speaks the world of him. We live 3.5 hours from her and the other son lives more than 1000 mls away. Sometimes she really gets on my nerves... being so outright bias.
Oh yes, come to daughters-in-laws, she behaves that way too ... she thinks the world of the new bride of her younger son. By the way, my MIL is Japanese, now do you understand? ... :)
2007-07-27 09:06:56 · answer #7 · answered by Sal SR 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mom does. My sister and I are both adults and she likes her better than me. I guess some people are like that. I have to kids and love them both, differently but equally. One is a girl, the other a boy.
2007-07-27 03:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by bluebird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Son or daughter is a "rebirth" of the daddy and mom in a vogue. we don't desire our hand to our legs, or nostril to our ears. So, we don't desire son to daut, or any incorrect way. infants are a present day given to the dad and mom by potential of God. They belong to God, and their soul comes from Heaven, Vayu, or Indu, as you comprehend, on your very own way. by potential of taking sturdy carer of them (palan poshan), then the dad and mom please God.
2016-10-09 10:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the East, the boys are always favourites so No 1 son can do no wrong.
thats culture !
2007-07-27 03:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by aunt_webby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋