A lot of guys (myself included) have posted questions on here about women making the first move.
The answer always seems to be that women don't approach men and start conversations because society dictates that it is the man's responsibilty to initiate contact. Plus, this shows confidence on his part.
Well, if a woman approaches the man, does that not show that she is confident? Men find that just as attractive as women. Why is this so difficult to understand?
2007-07-27 00:30:27 · 14 answers · asked by posttk421 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't find it difficult to understand. In fact, I approached my husband first, because he is a shy person. Had I not done so, we would probably never be together, and that is a fact. But I think this also has to do with my age.
At the time, I was in my mid-twenties, and I think I had more experience and confidence. Had I been younger, I would not have had that kind of confidence. It takes time and experience to gain confidence for a lot of people, and my husband was (and still is) younger than I am, and less experienced.
I agree there's a double standard for men and women in this culture, but I think some men are also put off by women who are "forward" as well. It's a fine line between being confident and being seen in as "pushy" or "slutty" and many women don't want to go there. Don't be too hard on women who aren't as confident as you'd like, either. You know yourself how scary it can be.
2007-07-27 00:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One guy I had a major crush on in high school, I did initiate some contact and that was very hard for me as well because I was one of the quietest/shyest girls in school. Well, turns out he is gay. Something like that can rattle a person's confidence. Since then, any guys I dated have approached me, including my husband (who actually begged me 2 hours for my phone number). I don't see anything wrong with a woman intiating approach, but I can agree that for some guys it might be a turnoff. However, if it is, than maybe that girl is not right for him.
2007-07-27 01:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by starwars79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a conundrum. I have all the confidence in the world, I am a single mother who is the sole support of her children, run my household, have a management job, a side job bartending and a small home business. I need nothing from a man except his companionship. And boy did that scare the guys away!!
But because I was raised old-fashioned I do not call a gentleman who has not called me first. I will speak to one in person but in in the most general polite manner. I do like the internet because it allows me to be a bit more forward.
I was very fortunate that I met an old-fashioned man who appreciated my reticience and likes some who can be both strong, confident and feminine. I thank the goddess daily for bringing him into my world!
2007-07-27 00:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. I think the point behind it is the old adage about a strong man. Women really don't like wimpy guys and I guess to some of them a man that can't make the first move is a wimp. Not true at all. Some guys are really shy but that doesn't mean they're wimps.
2007-07-27 00:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can make the "first move" these days - we live in the 2000's not the 1980's - if you're interested, whether you are the girl or the guy they start a conversation - it's not a big deal - eye contact is a given though - if you receive it back from who you are interested in - then that's the first move for both of you
2007-07-27 00:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
~~Well, I seriously think that majority of men finds that they r superior to girls when it comes to the question of approaching someone whether verbally or physically. So we girls r sumtimes of the infatuation that the guys we love would propose to us, we find it insignificant to propose them even when we really want to take our relationship to a next level! So its not about the courage or the confidence, its about a superiority complex. I strongly feel that when a guy loves a girl he must be friendly when it comes to serious talks. He should keep a place in his talks so that the girl break her shy pattern of speech and come out victorious. It all depends on the guys!!~~
2007-07-27 00:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by koolworld2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women approach me all the time. Oh wait, that's at the strip club.
2007-07-27 00:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally get ya dude. There's nothing at all wrong with a strong sexy woman who has enough galll to go out and get what she wants. I agree with you completely.
2007-07-27 00:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by zimmiesgrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
society doesn't dictate anything... the "moral minority" are the loudest about "voctorian values"... oh and the bible bashers... and the freaks who think women are still weak second class citizens...
2007-07-27 00:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man and woman both are same in this respect... men should not pose as more adventurous...
2007-07-27 00:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋