My current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are friends. But my ex doesnt know that we are dating. My boyfriend wants to tell my ex but hes afraid that he will get mad at him for dating me. So he is trying to get me to be-friend my ex so that things wont be hostile between us. I have a problem with this, however, because my ex treated me like complete and utter crap, he was emotionally abusive. Im kind of hurt that my current boyfriend is being insensitive to what my ex did to me and is more worried about my ex getting mad at him for dating me now.
Am I right to be feeling hurt by this? Or should I just try to be-friend my ex so that everything will be "peaceful" between all of us? =/
2007-07-26 21:59:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are right.Meet only with your present boyfriend.Not with your ex.
2007-07-26 22:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to feel hurt... its not a nice situation as it seems like your boyfriend is being quite insensitive. You don't need to be friends with anyone, especially someone who treated you badly. Explain to your boyfriend that he needs to pick his balls up and tell the ex whats going on. If your boyfriend is true it shouldn't matter what your ex thinks right?
good luck!
2007-07-27 05:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by LiL' B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
However a person feels about something, that is the way they feel and it is okay. You have a right to feel hurt. Your boyfriend seems more interested in his comfort level than yours. Under no circumstances should you be subjected to someone who was abusive to you (and emotional hurt is abuse), especially not simply to "make peace" for someone else's benefit. If your boyfriend is this insensitive to your needs, I would say he is being emotionally abusive, also...at the very least, selfish and controlling. Rethink your choices...you deserve better
2007-07-27 05:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that your boyfriend should understand that your ex treated you badly and that he should not be forcing you into a friendship with him, if it is not what you want to do.
Granted your BF just means well and wants everyone to be happy, but until you have healed the hurt you cant be expected to do this...
Ask you BF to give you time and besides, he should be proud to date you and his friend will just have to deal with it.
He treated u badly and lost u, so his loss!
2007-07-27 05:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by *Lee*D* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can feel hurt at first but you and your bf need to tell your ex whats going on
2007-07-27 05:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by Sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are trying to build a wall between two friends. Best to bud out and let him conduct the friendship the way he wants to. You are being selfish by feeling sorry for yourself and expecting him to lash out at his friend over the difficulty's in your past relationship. He didn't date him you did.
2007-07-27 05:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
see u r not now with ur ex AND THATS A FACT
so just forget how he was be friends with him
so all is well b/w the three of you all
but if u still feel uncomfortable with ur ex
go talk to ur bf about it...he'll tell you what to do...
he'll surely understand u if he loves u
2007-07-27 05:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course it ok for u to be hurt by that....y is ur bf worried abt if ur ex gets mad..r they friends? is his relationship with ur ex more important than his relationship with u?u should ask him..u shouldn't have to keep ur relationship a secret
2007-07-27 05:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by kimmy001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, its okay. It's human, you should tell your boyfriend how you feel about it then if he doesn't listen, find a way to make sure he will. They don't necesarily have to not be friends but they shouldnt aknowledge eachother when your around etc.etc.
2007-07-27 05:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope you totally have a right to be upset you shouldnt have to be friends with anyone you dont want to be friends with, especially someone who hurt you like that...perhaps a compromise? he needs to tell your ex whats going on, and maybe you can agree to be civil towards him if you ever have to see him
2007-07-27 05:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by sherrill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋