I just got engaged a couple of months ago and our parents met to discuss our wedding plans and they didn't agree on anything. His parents want us to get married at some fancy country club and want to invite like 300 people on their side alone but I really don't want that and my parents let them know this and told them they would prefer something small at the church but they didn't want that. And my fiance's mom hates the colorsI picked out and won't let his little sister whose 14 be in the wedding if she has to wear a sea green (one of the colorsr I picked, the other color is yellow) dress. Our parents kept going back and forward about our wedding plans and it was embarassing since we were in a restaurant. I finally got mad and walked out and my fiance followed me and then suggested we just elope. It sounds like a good idea but I really wanted a wedding with all my friends and family but our parents are ruining everything! What should I do?
2007-07-26 17:32:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you back that crazy train up and have the wedding YOU and your groom want. do not give up your idea of your day because of what other's want.
and the colors are yours to pick out. :P tell her to live with it.
2007-07-26 17:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Gotta go with your fiance on this one! If the plans are really being THAT taken over by your parents and his, it's just not worth it. Are they paying? If not, you can do whatever you want. If they are, then you do have to listen to a few of their suggestions.
If you don't want to elope, why don't you do something my cousin did many years ago. Her parents and in-laws were acting just like yours. So, she invited everyone over to her house for dinner - siblings, parents and grandparents. She had arranged for the pastor from her church to attend as well. When everyone got there and was getting ready to eat, she and her fiance (now husband) stood up and announced that this was actually their wedding! Nobody had any idea except for one sister who lived in another province and had to fly in for it, and the pastor.
This way they had a sort-of elopement but could also have their family there. Then dinner was their "reception." You could elope or do something like this, and have a reception for friends and family later. Plan it and pay for it yourselves so nobody else can butt in.
Good luck!!
2007-07-27 02:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a list of what you two want for your wedding... Print a couple of copies out. List everything that you can think of that you have in mind...
Then get the families together. Go to dinner or something... Give them each a copy of the info.. Tell them that this is how you two imagine your wedding day... This is what you two have decided on. And go from there...
Other suggestion... You and your fiance do all the planning... and the budgeting... It is yalls day.. Dont give in to others..
2007-07-27 10:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest paying for your own wedding and doing things the way you want. as much as I dont agree with all the arguing going on between families, if they are the ones paying for it then they can say they wont put out a dime unless its done their way and unfortunatly there isnt much you can do about that. I would sit down with you fiance and decide exactly what it is you want then get both sets of parents together and tell them what it is your planning on. if they still continue to argue then tell them your just pay for it yourself and do it your way and if that doesnt work out you may just decide to elope and have a party for friends and family when you get back, either way your planning your own wedding.
2007-07-26 18:18:32 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget that this is your wedding. Don't do anything that you don't want to do. Your only going to get married once. (Right?) Your just gonna have to make this decision yourself, only you know how much of a compomise you are willing to make. Maybe you could have a small intimate ceremony at a church followed by a large reception at the country club. Would that make everyone happy?
2007-07-26 17:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hayshaker 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What about a destination wedding?
It doesn't have to be someplace far, but far enough away that it limits things to close friends and family. A resort somewhere??
Bottom line - it's great you want to respect yours and his family's wishes - but the final decison is yours and yours alone.
And they will come around or look like idiots. (just wait until someone asks why the sister isn't in the wedding and your future MIL has to say it's because of the dress...she'll look like a complete flake!)
Good Luck
2007-07-26 17:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How come its ok for his mom not to drop her name but they expect you too.. BS And who the f*ck do these ppl think they are f*cking ruining these poor kids lives. Honestly Harry adams apple. take one. take the other. use your own. hell choose a new one for the both of you as revenge for these mean parents. Damn right they knew what they were doing. I would be resentful. Before you said anything im like ok how bad could it be...WOW. Tell them you will do what you want because clearly they did and made your poor mans childhood and life much worse than it needs to be. I would change my last name to "Miaparentsareduchebagos" and make sure to broadcast that at the wedding. I am sure everyone that is coming that knows the issue would understand. I am sorry to hear this and good luck to the two of you!!!
2016-05-20 00:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your fiance should have a re-do dinner. Let both parents know in no uncertain terms that you are going to do it your way. If they want to participate in planning, then only positive suggestions from here on out. (And it will help if you guys pay for everything, then they have no authority on the matter)
2007-07-26 18:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got married a month ago. My advice to you is do it the way you want. It's your day and no one should tell you how to plan it. Tell them if they don't like it they don't have to be present for it. My mother in law pulled some crap like that too and my fiance told her how it was going to be. She cried and was angry about it but she got over it.
2007-07-26 17:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by momof2 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
call a family meeting just the two of you and the parents. Tell them, We know you want us to have a wedding that we will never forget but it is our wedding, our colors, our friends and family. We appreciate your help but we don't want our wedding to be that big.
2007-07-26 17:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by RedWolf7374 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I love Christina V's post.
It is short, sweet and strictly to the point. That is exactly what you should do.
Who's wedding is it truly: You and your groom or both your parents?
2007-07-26 17:47:55 · answer #11 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋