None.
We can see just fine by the light of the burning monastery.
*bada bing*
Thoughts? :-P
2007-07-26 17:08:44 · 15 answers · asked by Boar's Heart 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
How many Reconstructionist Heathens does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None; if our ancestors managed without lightbulbs, so can we !
How many Scandinavian Heathens ?
- About a dozen. One holds the lightbulb and the others drink enough to make the room spin.
How many Lokeans ?
- Think twice. Do you really want a Lokean to handle your electricity ?
Well, how many Lokeans ?
- *answer is lost in the wailing of the firetruck siren*
How many Theodish ?
- The whole tribe, but the performance will be lead according to custom by the Heogh Beolb Changere.
How many Folkish ?
- Just one, but it takes a while to find one with pure enough ancestry to be worthy to touch the lightbulb.
How many Universalists ?
- Lots. Each has got a differently sized bulb, and tries to make it fit.
How many Organized Heathens ?
- Seven. One to hold the Hammer Ritual and hallow the four walls, one to sing a galdr with Kenaz, one to perform Seidh on behalf of
the deceased bulb´s spirit, one to write the newsletter report, and three to go off and found their own way of light-bulb changing.
How many Vanatru does it take to screw in a light-bulb ?
- "Screw is such a base word for Sacred Sexuality..."
How many Lore-Cracks ?
- Well, since Snorri didn´t mention lightbulbs, none were excavated and there´s no Old Norse word for it,
I´m afraid we cannot say for certain whether lightbulb changing was an integral part of our ancestors´ faith.
How many Modernist Heathens ?
- I don´t know. Let´s call the electrician.
How many Homesteading Heathens ?
- "Now lightbulbs, you gotta plant them in spring..."
How many Odinists ?
- None. The death of the lightbulb is part of Odin´s plan for humankind. It will return from Hel after Ragnarok.
How many Soulmatrix Workers ?
- Just one. As the old lightbulb´s litr and önd seem to have gone out in a flash of odhr, he invokes the bulb´s disir
and invites its fylga to settle into the new bulb according to wyrd, hopefully with better hamingja next time.
How many Seidhworkers ?
- A chorus of nine is chanting, while the Seidhworker accompanies the late bulb´s spirit to the Gate of Hel (hoping it will be reborn
to its tribe later), then conveniently screws the new bulb in from his High Seat under the socket.
How many RuneVitkis ?
- One, but it´s really hard to scratch runes on the glass.
How many Christian-Bashers ?
- Lightbulbs are the product of a Christian culture. Good riddance !
2007-07-27 08:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ymmo the Heathen 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
How many Celts does it take to change a lightbulb?
13. One to hold the lightbulb, 12 to drink until the world starts spinning.
2007-07-27 02:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by ArcadianStormcrow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ROTFL! Woot woot!
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can see just fine by the light of the cross burning on the black man's lawn.
*Bada bang*
(I have none) :P
2007-07-26 17:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Don't burn the monastery!
Just loot.
Then the Xians will repair it and populate it faster, to be looted again! Quicker turnover!
2007-07-27 00:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
How many heathens does it take to Screw in a lightbulb?
Heathens don't screw in lightbulbs - they're too small. They screw out in the fields instead! (or in stone circles, for the elitists in the crowd.)
2007-07-27 05:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by Cheese Fairy - Mummified 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Heathens ain't afraid of the dark!
2007-07-26 17:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Hey I will say the church burning usually brings the lol's, but not this time.
2007-07-26 17:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by Quest4questions 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I will raise a horn to you when the kindred celebrates Lindisfarne Day.
2007-07-26 17:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i laughed at " :-p " than i did at the joke but i'm proud of you for trying
2007-07-26 17:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for reminding me! I gotta change the bulb down in my basement.
2007-07-26 17:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by Candle Queen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋