last weekend I found me husband with another woman and my daughter. I confronted him and then i snapped. I hit him and his girlfriend called the police. Before they got there I left the scene to go back home. My husband also left the scene before they got there. She made a report after they had to coax her out of her apartment. She only made a report stating that she wants me banned from her property. My husband keeps threatening to press charges against me if I dont give him custody of our daughter. It has been 6 days and still has not contacted the police. What are my options? I want to file for custody and child support but am afraid that he will press charges.
2007-07-26 16:35:15 · 12 answers · asked by bshaffer300 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
2007-07-26 16:40:13 · answer #1 · answered by El Guapo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To any normal person what you did would seem justified.
Unfortunately because you hit him, he can press charges for assault. It doesnt matter if he was injured or not by your actions. Injury only makes it mandatory that the police arrest you on scene or as soon as possible after the act occurs. If he went to the police and he had any signs of injury or any complaint of pain the police would have come to your home to arrest you that night. Even though the police didnt come and arrest you he still has the right to file assault charges against you under the domestic violence laws. If he does you will be notified by mail and will have to go to court to answer the charges. You can inquire with your town's court as to whether any charges are pending against you.
On the issue of a restraining order........ If he gets a restraining order against you, he can have the order state that you are not allowed near him and your daughter. He can keep you out of his home regardless of who owns it and may also get temporary custody of your daughter. You will lose all rights to your daughter until you go to court. At court, he will have the option to drop the order or make it permanant. If he makes it permanant, he can request the terms of visitation rights of when you can see your daughter and the judge will make a ruling on that. Some states vary on orders. In my state, in this situation, the other woman cant get a restraining order against you. The situation doesnt fit the criteria for domestic violence. In this situation only the victim of the assault can get one because he is your husband. In my jurisdiction, you can only get a restraining order against someone if you are/were married, have or have had a dating relationship, have lived together either in a relationship or as roomates or as family, or have a child in common, and the actor has to be at least 18 yrs old or an emancipated minor.
The fact that you caught him with another woman has no bearing on the criminal act of assault or the custody of your daughter.
Unfortunately him cheating on you is not a crime and cant be used in your defense of the assault or restraining order.
Also, custody disputes are not criminal matters and are handled by the family division of your county courthouse not the police. I know that wasnt the answer you wanted to hear but that is what will happen if he pursues this matter...........
2007-07-27 01:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by weapon_30 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stricking another person is an assault. If your husband has a witness or evidence,evidence being marks. He could see a magistrate to get a warrant for the assault. Now, being its been six days the marks are most likely gone so he would half to get the witness to go with him to a magistrates office and swear to the incident. It would be up to the judge if he found proable cause or not. The one question I think the judge will ask your husband if he went now after six days, is why didn't you come before now? This may have some weight on finding proable cause! and if the judge doesn't find proable cause , no warrant!
2007-07-27 10:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by defendant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's ignore the fact that I doubt you could be convicted given the circumstances. Let's look at the custody issue.
You first have to decide if you want to voluntarily give custody of your children to an adulterer.
If you don't, then the Court will have to decide if they want to give custody of your children to an adulterer.
Okay, but here's one option you might not have considered, most people in your situation don't.
Talk to him. Ask him his side of this incident. You don't have to believe him, but do listen objectively. He may just be weak. He may be having self esteem issues. And maybe it can be worked out. Maybe not.
Try to be objective. You have children, so you've got an investment in this marriage. Don't let your emotion or pride get the better of you. You have nothing to lose by having a rational conversation with him. If he's not capable of that, at least you will know you honestly tried. Try to recall the marriage vows where YOU promised "for better or worse". Welcome to "worse". Live up to your promise, even if he didn't. Give it a shot. There's very little risk at this point in talking.
If you don't like what you hear, THEN ask the divorce judge to award you his balls in a jar of formaldehyde.
2007-07-26 23:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by open4one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under Canadian law, it's illegal to threaten someone with prosecution for a crime to gain an advantage, such a custody of children. I imagine that U.S. law would be similar, as both legal systems evolved from English common law. In other words, your husband's threat may be empty. You're best off, however, contacting a lawyer and getting a legal opinion.
2007-07-26 23:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Were you invited into the property your husband was at? If not, it's possible minor assault charges can be brought up. However, what your husband is doing, is blackmail. If you left no marks on him, and there's no photo proof you hit him, it can be argued your word against the cheating husband and jealous girlfriend he's sleeping with.
2007-07-26 23:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Press charges for what??
You caught the deadbeat with another woman with your 6 year old nearby? I'd have bashed his head in.
Kick his lowlife butt out of the house, throw his clothes out the front door, change the locks and sue for divorce.
Nobody is going to arrest you for what you did....
Don't let the SOB intimidate you. He has nothing to charge you with. And, even if he did, once the full story came out in court...the judge would kick his case to the curb.
2007-07-27 00:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call his bluff !!! because the police is going to ask him why didnt he stay around when they were called and thats going to make it look like that he wasnt scared or anything ...do not give up your daughter because he has threaten you ...you need to let it be known that he is trying to black mail you by holding that over your head and in dont know if there is a time limit on how long you have to have someone arrested after calling the police!!! BUT DONT GIVE UP UR DAUGHTER..you will regret it later ..fight him on this !!! go to father's for equal rights its just not for fathers!!!
2007-07-26 23:43:05 · answer #8 · answered by Diane D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unless you stabbed them on left some really good marks i wouldnt worry about nothing an get your daughter, tape your calls from this fool with the threats, but do try to stay friendly for the girls sake, dysfunction bites for the little ones. the hubby is playing an extortion game, call his bluff, leave him an keep the kid. good luck.
2007-07-26 23:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by tzimmer44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead with it but expect backlash. Those are two separate issues at hand.
2007-07-26 23:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by Glen B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋