Baby Showers? to pay or not to pay?

Question

As soon as I came back from my honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant.
My wedding was a freeloading frenzy and it really burned me on my friends and family.
My new husband and I came home broke!
However, we love our family and friends and would like to include them on "welcoming the baby" with a shower but we are tired of being suckers.
We are considering having a shower at a restuarant and would like all of the guest to pay for their own drinks & dinner!
So, my big questions are

1. Should guest be given their own bill by the restuarant?
2. Should the host receive money from the guest to pay one big bill?
3. Should we have a set menu with a per person charge ($40 pp)

Answer 1

Traditionally you would not host your own baby shower. Generally a close friend or family member would do this for you. Also, what you are suggesting is a bit elaborate for a baby shower. It doesn't have to be a sit down dinner. Keep it simple. Have it at a rented hall or someones home. Make it an afternoon affair with finger sanwiches, cold salads, snacks, desert, etc.

If you feel the need to have the big party you are suggesting, it is quite tacky to expect your guests to pay. If that's the party you would like to have you'll have to suck it up and foot the bill.

Answer 2

No offense, but I see why your wedding broke the bank. Baby showers are supposed to be sort of a girls-only, finger-food and games get-together, not a $40 a head party. And the only polite way to throw your own shower would be to have a "show-off" party after the baby is born, so your friends and family can pass it around and see pictures, etc. Bonus: everyone will want to entertain it and feed it and change it while you socialize.

Answer 3

My best friend just had her baby shower at a nice little Mexican place and her and her mom gave the guests 3 or 4 food choices and had the waitress put out pitchers of Ice Tea, Sprite, Coke, and Water. If the guests wanted beer or any other kinda liquor they paid for it themselves. Over all the bill wasn't that bad! It would have been alot worse if they would have went out and got food and cooked at home or something.

Congrats on the baby!

Answer 4

OK...why are you throwing a party for your own baby? Shouldn't your family and friends be giving YOU a baby shower? Don't think you should expect to receive money as gifts in this party. If you really have to plan the whole thing, maybe you can send out an email to everyone with all the rules written down.

Answer 5

Wow, to spend $40 a head on a baby shower, you must be loaded or delusional.

Normally, it's considered tacky to throw your own baby shower, so I wouldn't worry about it at all. Odds are, once you tell everyone your happy news, someone will step up and offer to throw it for you. And then you just step aside and let them handle the plans (stepping in if someone is going to be leftof the guest list, or is they are going to have it on a bad date for you, or something like that).

If you absolutely MUST throw your own shower, do it at home, or in a church rec room. Restraunts are expensive to rent, and they're typically less about what's for dinner than they are about 'Aww! Look at the cute little socks!'.

Answer 6

No offense, yet I see why your wedding ceremony broke the economic business enterprise. toddler showers are meant to be sort of a ladies-basically, finger-nutrients and video games get-mutually, no longer a $40 a head social gathering. And the only polite thank you to throw your very own bathe may well be to have a "teach-off" social gathering after the toddler is born, so your human beings and kin can bypass it around and notice photos, etc. Bonus: anybody will desire to entertain it and feed it and alter it while you socialize.

Answer 7

First, you shouldn't even have to be making your own plans for your baby shower. It should be your mother, close siblings, or close friends. That' s rediculous you have to plan your own. When i had my 1st child my mom and her friend did everything. They rented a place and made all the food. But if you really have to do it yourself i don't think it's right for them to have to pay for their own dinner. What i would do is rent a place that does catering and have it buffett style that way you should be able to just get it for a certain price, and they can't just order whatever and make you responsible . They can pay for their own drinks. Good luck!!

Answer 8

It is kind of tacky to just invite people, and expect them to pay. Why not ask a good female friend or sister to host a shower for you, and explain to her that because of the wedding costs, you can't help out too much. Explain that you can help her though with set up, and cooking, and that maybe you can throw in some cash to help defray the costs of food and decorations.

Answer 9

You shouldn't be throwing a baby shower for YOUR baby. Someone in your close family should be the one to front the bill! It is your baby and they should help you celebrate it!!! You are going to need as much $ as you can get your hands on once that baby is born...so maybe someone should throw a baby shower for you!

Answer 10

Typically you don't throw your own baby shower.... a friend or reletive would do that... I say let them!