help i cant get my 4yr old to potty train he has gone on the toilet several times but wont all the time.?

Question

my son is very advanced in all other areas and we have used the reward method i just feel he is being lazy and doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go on the potty.

Answer 1

First of all, don't become frustrated. The hard thing about potty training is that this is the first time in your child's life that you have absolutely no control over. Your son has ALL the control. He will do it or not do it----as he chooses. So take a deep breath and do not let your emotions be involved. You will both be much happier.

So, give all the control to your son. However, as the parent, you are able to set the perimeters that your son must follow. He can choose between diapers, or underpants. If he chooses diapers, make sure you change him like a baby----laying him down, etc. Do not change his diapers by standing up, or by letting him help. If he chooses to wear underpants, he can do it all by himself, but he is expected to keep them clean and dry. When in underpants, He has the choice to pee in the potty (reward with a few m&m's and lots of positive reinforcement----clapping, cheering, "I knew you could do it!", "You are a BIG boy!", show the m&m's to Daddy, then Daddy congratulates him, etc.) OR, your son has the choice to pee in his pants (no reward or positive reinforcement). If he pees in his pants, have him take responsibility and change himself. Ask him if he wants a diaper, or underpants. Restate your expectations. He has to keep his underpants clean and dry. For pooping, do the same thing--including having him take responsibility and clean the poopy mess in his underpants. TIP: have him do this in the bathtub. It is much easier to clean. The reward for pooping in the potty is lots of positive reinforcement, even letting your son bring Daddy in to see the poop in the potty before it gets flushed, and of course your son can now choose a pooh-pooh present. Pooh-pooh presents are small gifts (not worth more than 50 cents or a dollar at most). Each gift is wrapped, so that it is a surprise. Make sure the presents interest him. Suggestions might be a car, strip of stickers, crayons, candy, mini dinosaur, ball, play-do, etc. Between the m&m's and pooh-pooh presents, your son will want to go in the potty.

As part of the process, ask your son if he needs to go potty. If he says no, remind him that he is to keep his underpants clean and dry. The less clothing your son wears, the better off he will be. Until he is reliable, do not put pants on him. Have him hang out in his underpants. Also, make sure his underpants are a size big. This will make it easier to pull up and down by himself. And he won't feel as secure, and will want to make it to the potty.

Also, when it has been a little while since he has gone potty, tell him it is time to go potty. Interupt him in his play, letting him know that he can return to it after he goes potty. This should help him learn that he can go when he needs to, no matter what his is currently doing. Last, if your son is not wanting to stop what he is doing to go potty, you can take away the toy that "caused" your son to go in his pants. Then when he successfully goes on the potty, he get the toy back. It does nothing for your son to punish him when he chooses to go in his pants. Taking responsibility for his choice / actions is "punishment" enough.

Hope this is clear, and that it helps. Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all, don't listen to "patrickandamie." They're the ones who are "slow" and need they're IQ's checked...let's hope they never had kids (for the poor kids sake). My advice to you is to just never put a diaper on your son. Except for when he goes to sleep for the night. I kept putting a pull up on my daughter because I didn't want to have to deal with the mess if she had an "accident." But eventually, you have to just go "cold turkey" and they;re right, eventually they will just stop because it feels yucky. Very important: make a HUGE deal out of every time they do go on the potty. Positive reinforcement is the key. When he does have an accident, say nothing. Just clean him up and remind him that he is a big boy and big boys go potty on the toilet. Don't worry, he'll get it soon enough...good luck!

Answer 3

You must be consistant!!! Tell him that only big boys go to school and to be considered a big boy he has to use the potty! They have pre Kindergarten for 4 year olds so he can go to school next year but they have to be trained. Try rewards for him m&ms work well and if he messes himself punish him may be to the corner but I don't think I'd let him stay in it because he can still get rashes if its left there too long and if he minded the feel than he'd probably be trained by now.

Answer 4

Take away those darned diapers. Tell him sternly that diapers are for babies and he is a big boy now... he is to use the potty. Point blank... and when he goes in his pants as he will, take him to the potty anyways and sit him on the toilet for a few minutes.

Answer 5

I don't think he's slow he's probably just a little spoiled which is OK my 3yr was like that too. The one day i decided to throw cheerios in the toilet and he would try aiming at them . he liked it and saw it as a game and then he started going by himself all the time. that also helped for him no to pee all over the seat. You can also get a piece of paper and every time he goes put a sticker and applaud him.

Answer 6

4? That is a bit late too so I would just keep reminding him. My son still potties in his pants if he is too busy playing he will just be lazy and go down his pants. Disgusting but just stay on him and keep reminding him. He will catch on. Let him wear the dirty ones too. They stink and he'll get the picture.

Answer 7

Don't put diapers or pullups on him, he won't like the way the mess feels. I guess it's okay to wear pull ups or diapers at night, so you don't have to do as much laundry.
Don't say anything about accidents, just have him change and clean up himself, without ridiculing or punishing him.
He will evntually stop this.
Reward him with praise when he does good!
:)

Answer 8

Try treating him like a dog and reward him for using the toilet. Works every time!
:)

Answer 9

Sorry to say this,let your child live with the filth in the underwear,or diapers,he or she will be using the tiolet all the time in no time soon.

Answer 10

He is 4 and not toilet trained!? You may want to get an IQ test done, he sounds slow, to put it kindly.