This man is the Father of my child, He is also the HUSBAND of a innocent woman that did not and does not deserve to be treated the way He treats Her. I got involved with this Man about 2 1/2 years ago. Not knowing that he was married. He told me that he lived with a woman but they were no longer together.When I got pregnant I found out...There was a WIFE.*I was totally CRUSHED. (I'll admit he really had me fooled)He promised he would be supportive to my daughter, and begged me to keep *our situation* a secret. He started off a good father. But he just stopped supporting her. As soon as the support stopped. I called and made his wife aware! Now I'm the mother of his child, His Marriage and home is corrupted and My daughter is without a father.On top of that I recently put him on child support. Is this too harsh of a treatment? Was I wrong? Should I have given him more time to get back on track?? Help!!
2007-07-26 15:07:19 · 61 answers · asked by inquiringsista 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds like a hot mess. If he wasn't not handling his business as a man and supporting his child then I don't blame you for putting him on child support. He may have stopped because his wife may have started wondering where the money was going. Neither of you women deserve this loser. I just hope he'll be a presence in your child's life.
2007-07-26 15:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What choice did you have? Were you able to provide for your child w/out him, was child support a way to pay him back? He should be willing to take care of the child he helped create, but you can't use the child only when it's convenient for you, are you willing to let him be a part of the child's life, even if that means allowing your child to be around his other family? There are many sides to every story and often we tell the side that doesn't reveal the entire part we may have played in another's behavior or reaction. Even if you were too harsh, what can you do about it now, if you didn't need support then you were wrong, if you needed support and consequently need government assistance also, there is no turning back now, or you will lose benefits for the rest of your household if you try to drop the child support case. The only thing you can do is offer him the opportunity to be involved since he is obligated to pay, and as a dad, that is his only right, to pay child support, every thing else, he will most likely have to battle for. Unfair for the dads who do care and provide, but this is how the past dead beats required the law to act for the best interest of the child.
2007-07-26 15:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by PENGWN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you did the right thing by putting him on child support. He is the father of the baby then he should be paying child support. It is that simple. The thing about calling his wife and telling her, I think was right to, even though you did it out of anger not that you felt sorry for her. She has a right to know what kind of man she is married to, and what lies he told you. I think you should and you sound like you do, feel sorry for her. The fact remains however that he helped create the child (even though he should have been at home with his wife), he should help pay to raise his child. Wow, this guy is a real looser and an @ss hole. I am sorry, next time you will know not to get involved with a guy that claims to live with his ex. The sad thing is I have heard about guys pulling this over on women before, so don't feel stupid. It is a rather hard way to learn that however. I think you did the right thing. Good luck.
2007-07-26 15:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually its too late to even ask the question since the deed has been done. Unfortunately the guy is a liar and even though he said he would support his new daughter he showed his true colors when he fell off track.
The truth had to come out. It's a shame so many had to be hurt in the outcome but your daughter deserves support. Be sure to put the money away for her schooling. At least she will have something from her father since there is a very good chance he won't be an active part of her life.
2007-07-26 15:16:35 · answer #4 · answered by sdavila42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You state he told you he lived with a woman but they were no longer 'involved' -I don't think anyone could be so stupid to believe a lame story like that-I believe you did get involved with this man knowing full well he was either married or in a common law marriage. But it's great you can get on here and tell your twisted version of the story and sound like a little angel (a very stupid, gullible little angel)
As for your question-yes you did the right thing in telling the wife-you should have told her earlier. You also did the right thing going after him for child support-I hope you spend it on the child.
2007-07-26 18:38:58 · answer #5 · answered by MAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong here. If two consenting adults have unprotected sex and the female becomes pregnant, both parties should be held accountable for the raising of the child.
Since he left you and his daughter, you were right to ask for child support.
Don't fret over not having a father for your daughter. What you daughter needs is a daddy and in time, you will find a man that will love you and your daughter and not put you in these predicaments.
2007-07-26 15:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by missmelissa5286 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have involved the wife as she is an innocent victim as are you and your daughter. Yes he should pay child support. I hope you will not get together with this man again as he doesn't know how to treat women. You can't be married and play the field as he was doing. He will cheat on you as well. It is a bad situation but it is done and both women will have to get over him and get on with their lives.
2007-07-26 15:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by bramblerock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get back on track? This guy was off the track before you started or he would not have cheated.
Don't worry about his feelings, just make sure your daughter is properly cared for and that he shares the financial responsibility.
In the future it would be nice if she could have a relationship with him but; don't hold your breath.
Worry about her and worry about you starting a new life without him. You need to ensure that you do not continue to be with men in committed relationships - married or not, you knew he was with someone.
Best of luck to you and blessings. I am sure this has been very heart-breaking.
2007-07-26 15:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by sadandconfused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are so not wrong. He's the father, he should support his child. He's a grown man able to support her isn't he?... it doesn't matter if its harsh or not, this is about your daughter, and if he's not going to be a good daddy to your child. The least he can do is support her fiancially.
I'm sorry that you are in this situation hun, I feel for you.
Hope this helps.
2007-07-26 15:15:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No- he should support ALL of his children. He should have never screwed around on his wife anyway. If YOU were the wife, wouldn't you want to know? If anything, you could have told her sooner. He deserves to lose everything, but you're right about her being innocent-- What she looses here is a cheating bastard. No- you were not too harsh!
2007-07-26 15:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by crankyissues 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋