Ok, I am getting married in a few months and I chose 6 Bridesmaids. One of the ones I chose I had known for a while now and only asked her because i felt obligated....the truth is im a pushover and picked her even though she is bitchy and rude....when it came time to get the dresses we all went to pay and she paid for half of hers. In the meantime we went out for her bday and she was rude and bitchy as usualy to me and my finace. I just stopped talking to her after that.
This is really my fault becuase I have always known she was like that and she didnt act any different...just this time i snapped.
My question is i DO NOT plan on her being in the wedding that is not an option...but since i am going to kick her out of it should i give her her money back for the dress???? I hadnt talked to her in months so i am sure she has gotten the picture but she might ask for her money....what do I do?
2007-07-26 15:00:06 · 20 answers · asked by MadKat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, stop blaming yourself for someone elses rude behavior. She is responsible for how she acts and reacts, and you have every right to not want her to be involved if she is going to have that attitude.
Second I think it was a nice gesture of your friendship to ask her in the first place, and if she can't value you back then you are better off without her involved!
If ther dress is returnable I would definitely give her the money back, that way she has nothing to hold over your head.
Does she have possesion of the dress? If not do not refund her you may be able to return it or sell it. If she has posession of the dress and it is not returnable then I say no do not refund her the money.
I am sure you will have a lovely day!
Good luck!
2007-07-26 15:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, send her a card, and politely tell her that there has been some adjustments in you wedding party, and that you hope to see her at you wedding as a guest, but you won't need her in the wedding party. Tell her that you understand that she had money invested, so you wanted to do the right thing and give her that money back. You should also remind her to call and cancel the dress order at The bridal shop.
2007-07-26 15:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just give her the money back for the dress and call it a day. You're right the situation could have been avoided but if you want to avoid more drama just part with the funds and wash her out of your hair. Hope your wedding is everything you dreamed of.
2007-07-26 15:06:25 · answer #3 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not give the money back. The bridesmaids always pay for their own dresses and if they back out or are kicked out then they should not ask for they money from the bride (what is the bride gonna do with the dress?), she can keep the dress and use it for something else. If she insists for the money back then tell her to take it up with the bridal shop that she bought it from.
2007-07-27 05:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by Little Flower 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Her unfortunate bad attitude is not your doing - it just seems like that is the kind of person she happens to be. Even if she does ask for her money back, you really aren't obligated to give it to her. I would definitely make sure you designate someone to make sure she doesn't cause trouble on your wedding day.
2007-07-27 06:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if you can return the dress first before you pay her back so it won't be a hardship on you. Then mail her money back to her with a not saying "Your services at my wedding will not be needed". She should get the hint then if she hasn't by now.
2007-07-26 16:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by dbethanid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes -- give her the money. This is your fault and your wedding and if she bought a dress you are going to ask her not to wear, you need to pay her the cost.
Or else you are being as creepy as her.
2007-07-26 15:31:45 · answer #7 · answered by mj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would be best off offering her her money back, don't wait for her to ask for it.
If she has the dress, you might also want to get that back somehow, you might be able to sell it to recoup the cost.
If she has the dress and won't return it, then don't give her her money back.
2007-07-26 15:20:47 · answer #8 · answered by txbrit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the dress in question can be worn for another event, or is not so bridesmaidy that it can be worn other than for the wedding, my opinion is no don't refund. But if it is a dress that can't be worn for anything else then yes refund. All this could have been avoided, had you been honest with yourself, trusted your own judgement and not included her in the first place. good luck with your upcomming nuptuals.
2007-07-26 15:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by jknapp52055 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
of course you give her the money back. you cant kick someone out of your wedding then expect her to lose out on the money she put down for her dress just because your a push-over. common now. why are you even asking this question? you got yourself into the situation by asking her when you really didnt want to so now its up to you to get yourself out.
2007-07-26 15:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋