i got the invitation in june, since then i've gotten a girlfriend. am i within my rights to ask the bride and groom if i can bring my girl along? the invitation was to me only, and not me "and partner". has anyone done this before? would it be considered poor etiquette?
a previous girl i dated was offended cos i didn't ask her to an engagement party and my reasoning was she wasn't invited. not a good answer, so i don't want to run this risk again!
2007-07-26 14:37:25 · 17 answers · asked by Gruntled Employee 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the invitation is to the reception, so they would incur the additional cost.
2007-07-26 14:44:12 · update #1
thanks for all your helpful answers... it will be difficult to pick one!
2007-07-26 18:19:27 · update #2
Just ask if the invitation includes a guest. The worst they can say is no, and then you definitely can tell your girlfriend that unfortunately she isn't invited. It is better to ask than just assume. The couple will be mad if you bring a guest without asking, and you and your girlfriend will be upset if it turns out that she could have gone, but you never asked. I am getting marriend in September and I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me that question.
2007-07-26 14:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by milliemac_99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Strictly speaking, if the invite didn't mention a guest, then the invite just means you, although it might have been the case that if they knew you were single before, they might have just done it for that reason.
Think about whether this person is likely to be a long term relationship, and if you think they are, then it doesn't hurt to ask the couple if it would be possible to bring her.
Keep in mind that the couple might be tight on space or money, so if they say they can't accommodate, then it's best to be gracious and tell them it doesn't matter...
If that is the case, explain to your girlfriend that whilst you would love for her to go along, the invite doesn't include her and it's not up to you...
If the couple are able to include her, remember to try and cover the cost of her meal (anywhere from $70-150) additionally onto the gift you send the couple.
2007-07-26 22:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by txbrit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Etiquette-wise, it would be considered rude to ask the couple to extend their invitation to your new girlfriend. Weddings are very expensive, and this couple probably invited you only due to budget constraints. Please do not put them in the uncomfortable situation of having to either say "no" to you or pull together additional funds.
It seems like you are very understanding of this, and want to do the right thing. Hopefully your new girlfriend is level-headed enough to understand the situation as well. Perhaps you can promise to take her out to a nice dinner to make up for not being able to go to the reception.
2007-07-27 09:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by elsie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask the bride and groom if you can invite a "guest" with you.
So incase you and this girl breaks up (as some people have done) you are still open to invite someone else to go along with you. I would offer (this is something I would do myself) to pay for my guest to attend as a graditude of saying thank you.
If bride and groom say no, then that is a no. Your gf should be understanding of that.
2007-07-27 01:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go ahead and ask. Odds are they will have extra spots because not everyone you invite ends up going to the reception. I knwo with my wedding I had quite a few people who couldn't go so I was able to extend an invitation to people who were not on the original guest list.
You definitely need to ask don't just bring her with you. If they are good friends they will most likely say yes, but try and be understanding if they say no or that they will need to wait and see.
2007-07-26 21:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't been dating this girl long enough to bring her to a wedding. You got the invitation before you even met her, invitations go out 6-8 weeks before a wedding. That's too soon to bring a new girl to a wedding. Don't ask and if she gets offended she's a jerk.
2007-07-27 00:43:10 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are a guest, so you really don't have any rights. You might call the bride and ask if it's possible to bring a guest. If she says no, then your new girlfriend will have to stay home. Don't be offended if you get a no for an answer. Guest lists are tricky things and the families are usually limited by the amount of money they want to spend. So be gracious and consider the feelings and wishes of the people getting married. It's their party, their wedding, not yours.
2007-07-26 21:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by SpursFan123 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It would be improper to ask. Im glad you got rid of your old girlfriend since she was offended. You dont need someone who is offended at such things and shouldnt be worried now about what your new gf will do. In fact its a good test to see how gracious she is. If she says nothing about it, she is good for you. If not, then re think since in later years you will hear the same thing or worse. Why are you going fishing with your friends instead of staying home and fixing the house? LOL
2007-07-26 21:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your invitation doesn't say "and guest" then it would be in poor taste and would place the bride and groom on the spot. then they would feel obligated to let you bring someone. obviously they are trying to watch the amount of money they are spending on the wedding.
2007-07-26 22:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by Southern Belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride/groom knew you didn't have someone at the time so they probably spared your feelings to say "your invited". I don't think it would be rude to inquire however, I would also offer to assist them with the additional expense of another guest (being it is at such notice).
2007-07-26 21:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by acedelux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋