how to be succesful with mental problems?

Question

I've battled with many psychological ailments throughout my life. I have a problem committing to things because other events in my life prohibit me. I've always been distracted by significant others or friends. I'm smart and very capable of success...but as soon as I'm in a relationship I become disabled at bettering myself. I get panicky not being around my partners a majority of the time...I think it's because I need to concentrate on too many aspects of my life. My partner is of first importance to me. is it wrong to feel like this?
is there anyway at all to be consumed by my relationship but at the same time be able to be successful...??
or should i just give up and not care about ever accomplishing a trade or specialty?

Answer 1

Dependence on significant others doesn't only stifle your creativity and work ethic... it suffocates the relationship itself over enough time.

As one who knows first-hand what this is like, I'm going to tell you that there may be no hope for you to get over this on your own. You'll probably need to drive your romantic interests away with your panic/ insecurity/ possessiveness/ whatever-you-wanna-call-it enough times that the lesson becomes ingrained in your daily lifestyle.

Let me ask you this: If you give up on whatever you want to do with your career to just invest everything into your significant other, what will that person continue to find attractive about you into the future?

Answer 2

One of the things I found that was a hard lesson to learn was that if I wanted to be capable of helping another person like a significant other, it was absolutely necessary for me to help myself to be in a proper situation to help them.

To brake it down to its most basic level, if you spent all your time feeding someone else and never feed yourself, you will die of starvation and wouldn't be able to feed them anymore.

Also, one of the first things about dangerous situations, like broken power lines and quick sand is that you must never put yourself into danger first because you cannot help someone if you get yourself harmed or damaged. don't just jump into the sand to help to or you'll get stuck, and don't just run through the lines to help or you might get struck.

On the question of success with any mental problems i think the first step to being able to solve any mental problem at all, not just a specific one, is to enable yourself to have completely honest and open dialog with yourself, i found that once i could openly view my own problems and actually set some reasonable goals that where attainable progress moves along much faster.

When you speak about concentrating on many things at once it reminds me of the theory of meditation, when you meditate you bring all of the many occurring thoughts in your brain, down into one specific thought, the thought of whatever your meditating on or just the thought of being at peace with your surroundings if you don't have a specific thing to meditate on.

I would suggest learning about meditation and using the technique to be able to create a calm focused thought process at any time regardless of how many things may be happening in your life at the time.

Answer 3

Maybe just not being in a relationship may be best for you if you function fine when not in one. Nobody says you HAVE TO be in a relationship.