Hi guys, this question is for you! thanks in advance for your help! I am a good looking (people say) girl and I recently met a guy. We spent a few great days and the sex was amazing and we also seemed to have a great connection, seriously. Then the last 2 days we were together he became a bit distant, and then he has just emailed me sporadically, and when i emailed him asking him what was up, and asked him to "not leave me hanging" (long but very nice email) and I also texted him, he replied in a short email that he had been very busy and "could not answer all my email and text messages as fast as I wanted to" then he added that it was "not necessary for me to email him back" because he would email me a "proper email" when he got a chance that same day or the next, but 4 days went by and no response. Did I mess up by sending him that "long nice email" asking him to open up to me, or was he just not into me from a while back when he started withdrawing those last 2 days? Guys help!!!!!!
2007-07-26 13:18:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a guy, the first thing I do when meeting someone is to get to know them. Asking questions, finding what kind of person they are; their likes and dislikes. Do we have anything in common. If she is someone I think I might like to get to know I might ask out on a date or perhaps go for a walk at a local park.
Jumping right in and expecting a relationship to developeover night just won't happen and sex should be quite a way down the road not up front. Sex shouldn't determin wheather a guy is the right person for you either. Get to know him first. You don't know whether a guy has a history of crime or something to that effect.
To be honest, If I met somone that sent me messages as often as you did, the first thing that comes to mind is that person has too much time on their hands and/orsomething is not right.
To some extent I can see why this guy didn't return some of you messages. I am shure he has commitments and a life of his own. Sending him messages fairly frequently wasn't the best thing to do. Although I can't say what his intentions were; whether he was out for a one night stand or something else. He could have been seeing another woman also. Who knows.
My best advice to you: Forget about him and moveon. Find a nice guy who has something in common with you. Do a few things together, get to know him first. Go for walks, see a movie. Become good friends. Who know where it might lead.
Use some common sense and know when to say no.Use some discression as well. Forget about constantly e-mailing him or sending text messages. This will likely turn him off. Contacting him two or three times a week is fine. Make plans to do something on the weekend.
Use the experience with the other guy as a learning tool. You deserve better than that. I wish you the best in finding the next guy.
2007-07-26 14:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy either, but this is what I think: I don't think it was that you "gave him sex too soon." Come on, we are adults here and if it was a mutal decision and you had a good time then great. It's always nice to wait, but a guy that really likes you will not stop talking to you because you slept with him. I do think that you probably overwhelmed him and scared him a bit. When he said in his email he was sorry that he could not answer ALL of your messages as fast as he wanted, it sounds to me like you sent him too many texts and messages. Leave it up to him to pursue you next time. Wait for him to initiate contact. And if you do send him a text or email next time, keep it short and don't send him anymore until he responds to you.
I think you should wait for him to contact you again - and if he doesn't then let it go.
2007-07-26 13:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was a test... with some guys, if you're willing to sleep with them that quickly, they will lose their respect for you. With other guys, if you don't want to sleep with them immediately they want nothing to do with you.
It sounds like he only wanted to sleep with you and doesn't want anything more to do with you.
He may have been okay with how quickly you slept with him but possibly the long email put him off and scared him a bit- like you wanted to jump into a serious relationship too fast for his liking.
It also depends on how much of a time delay was between the email and text message. If the gap was, say, 5 minutes, that may have made him feel trapped.
2007-07-26 13:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Lily Iris 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I know I'm not a guy but I really think I have the correct answer to your question. It wasn't the email. It was the fact that you had sex with him while barely knowing him. Once guys get what they want they have no challenge left. Once the challenge is gone, the game is no longer fun.
Many girls make this mistake. Its a terrible mistake, but I hope you learned from it. Good Luck
2007-07-26 13:24:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is not into you, sorry. forget about him and don't contact him until he contacts you, which may be tomorrow or in several months. you didn't mess up anything, you just seem to like him more than he likes you. he may want to come back to you after a while, buit if you won't play a bit of hard to get, he will keep taking you for granted, as he does now. try to move on as fast as you can.
2007-07-26 13:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes got some problems and or issues he doesnt want you to know.we men are not open as you ladies know, we tell what we want and hide other things deep inside.you ladies do the same and you know it. im not saying it might have been just for sex...maybe he felt more but didnt want it at this time. i know if i had been in his shoes..i wouldve enjoyed everything and espeacally a e-mail that showed feelings towards me but then again,,,it may have interfered with my freedom i was used to....who knows? go on with your life girl and be more careful in who you pick next time...i hope u find who you need and want in yourlife.
2007-07-26 13:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by badboy11904 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohhh, tough one. to be honest, it sounds like he was just looking for a good time and had no plans of starting a releationship. it is also possible that he has a girlfirend who he doesnt want to find out about what had happened. that would be the reason for him not wanting you to email him.
2007-07-26 13:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by sonofsam415 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry, sounds like he got what he wanted (the amazing sex) and the challenge is over and he is moving on, guys do not want to discuss their "feelings" so much and he is definitely pulling away, if i were you i would let him go, the connection is over.
2007-07-26 13:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by labadala l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry you did nothing to change the relationship --- he was backing off anyway --- why i cant say but it could be he was only after the sex --- best wishes
2007-07-26 13:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you messed up by sleeping with him so soon.
It sounds like he got what he wanted and bolted..
2007-07-26 13:23:14 · answer #10 · answered by sunshinegirl802 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋