I am to be married October 2008. My husband to be and I have already informed our wedding parties. His best man, was not only his best friend but mine as well, unitl he started dating a new woman, we shall call her bXXXh.
He grew more distant, understandable for a new relationship but than he started to lash out. He would pick fights with me about anything, even if I agreed with him.
My patience was wearing thin until I heard the news. I was told by more than one person that he and bXXXh were not only talking about us behind our backs but also telling anyone who would listen that OUR MARRIAGE IS GOING TO FAIL. These were not his thoughts orginally unitl she entered the picture.
SO in basic WHAT should I do? I don't want him in our wedding, or signing our marriage certificate. I don't think this unreasonable. My fianice wants to wait out their relationship. I think we should tell him to shove off and stop taking his bad relationship out on us.
ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT!
2007-07-26 13:00:41 · 10 answers · asked by jentennisgal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should tell him, if he doesn't believe in your marriage, than you don't wont him to sign your marriage certificate, this should be done by somebody, who believe in your relationship. So just be straight and protect your self from people like him. Good Luck!
2007-07-26 13:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by reality 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a similar issue when I was getting married, only it was my sister that was acting like that. I am wondering if they are jealous that you are happy and that the attention is all on you.
I know that was my sisters problem, she has always been the center of attention so when it was all about me she really made it difficult for me and my wedding party. For this reason I did not ask her to be in the wedding.
When I heard she was trashing me behind my back I called her and told her that we needed to talk because I was not going to put up with that.
We had a long discussion and worked things out, she still did not come to my wedding for other reasons, but I have no regrets about it because that was her decision not mine.
Anyway my suggestion is that if you were or are really good friends with this man you both should sit down and talk to him about it. Good friends do not trash friends behind their backs, and if he truly feels that way then maybe he should not be in the wedding.
I really hope it works out because goodness knows you don't need the stress! Good luck!
2007-07-26 20:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would first question what it was or is that you guys do that would make him say such a thing and ask why the distance. After you find this out then take the info and look into the mirror with it for a couple of days and then make your decision. I am not assuming that you guys are at fault but I have been around long enough to know that friends don't just do friends like that for no reason. Best wishes.
2007-07-26 21:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by noelle f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would flat out say, Hey Ted, I heard from 3 different people that you said our marriage is going to fail. Why did you say that? Then give him a blank look in silence while he attempts to explain. If he asks who, just say that doesn't even matter-you know who you told...Even if he doesn't say a word for a whole minute, just keep quiet and keep looking at him. Most people cannot stand that...then, say you wish he would back out of the wedding if he doesn't expect the marriage to last, because you do, and you feel like his negativity really sucks.
2007-07-26 21:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your fiance both together need to tell him that you only want people in your wedding party who are happy for you and have good wishes and since he and his gf have been trashing you and saying your marriage is going to fail that you both think it would be best to replace him with someone who is a real friend and who supports you both emotionally. Don't say anything about his relationship, because even though you don't like his gf, this is about his behavior, not hers and to say anything would make him think it is about her and he needs to know you do not like the way he has been treating you.
2007-07-26 23:25:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choosing the best man is not your business but rather your fiances and you said he wants to wait it out so end of discussion . If you dont like this, use it as a sign of what is to come. The problem is that you and your fiance do not agree. It doesnt sound very civil, the fights you describe so I do sympathize with you really I do. But it is really between you and your fiance and if you cant agree with him and respect his choice as best man, then maybe you should really re think this wedding truly.
2007-07-26 21:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave this one up to the groom because the groom traditionally picks the best man. There is still a lot of time before your wedding for him to pick a new best man if he needs to. Maybe in the following year you could all have a reconciliation (Or maybe your friend will break up with the troublemaking girlfriend in the next year ).
2007-07-26 20:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit him down one day and talk to him about it and why he is saying this stuff. tell him you love him as a friend, but ever since this girl came into his life he is a totally different person and thats making him hard to get along with. if he argues with you or tries to start a fight then thats when you tell him until he wants to start acting like himself and the true friend he used to be its best he not be in the wedding party.
2007-07-26 22:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUMP the best man. Why would you want someone who is CURRENTLY stabbing you in the backs in your wedding???
It is MANDATORY that the people in the wedding party be SUPPORTING this union. He doesn't, so he's out.
By the way....BXXXH....that's FUNNY!!!!!
2007-07-26 21:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend sounds like a real jerk. I would only want to surround myself with positive people. Confront him and tell him what youve heard, tell him how much that hurts you both. If he doesnt shape up to be best man soon, I would kick him to the curb.
2007-07-26 20:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋