what can happen to a ex-wife if she goes against court order about letting her daughter not go with her dad?

Question

My fiance recently punished his daugher with vinegar in her mouth and soup being she didn't learn anything from grounding and corporal punishment is out in minnesota. so the following wednesday he went to pick them up and she didnt' go with. he called the cop and told him the situation and he said to just drive away cause basically he couldn't drag her out. Their last court case the judge clearly stated that if the girls didn't have a choice when it came to going with their dad and that they had to go on his time. Does anyone know what he can do about this? now if the tables were turned, I don't think that they would of told her to just drive away. Since she got away with this, I think that his daugher will take advantage of this and do like she was doing before and go when she wants to go and don't go when she don't want to, and to me she needs to learn that she is the kid and that her dad is the parent and needs to respect him. everything we try to teach her, her mother rewinds. Help

Answer 1

Depends on how old she is. If she is over 13, she has the rights to decline visits as much as she has the rights to choose who she lives with. If the ex-wife feels her child is being mistreated when she's with her dad, the ex can go against any court order and can even take your fiancee to court for abuse. Your fiancee should see a lawyer. Despite the fact that your fiancee is the father and she is the kid, if she is being mistreated, she is well within her rights to decline visits and you are lucky she has not contacted CPS. If she is younger than 13 however, she does not have a choice and must abide by the court order, as well as the ex wife.

Answer 2

If she is13 years old or older then the court will listen to her in the form of a letter or through representation (EX: letter from a therapist, a trusted official etc.)

Frankly, I don't think your fiance doing the soup and vinegar thing was that great but you should set up another court date and make this your top priority.

Is she afraid of her father? That might effect the situation A LOT. It may be the court's decision but if a child feels threatened in any way they won't do a thing and why should their mother force them to go? I know its the court's decision but I doubt she would want to man-handle her children into his car.

Answer 3

It really depends on what the custody agreement says, how far your fiance is willing to go with this and what kind of mood the judge is in if/when it ever gets before him/her.

My husband's custody agreement calls for mediation, in all cases, before coming to court again.

Your fiance's best bet is to try to work with mom & daughter, to resolve this amicably. That *will* involve treating them with respect and compromise. They, of course, should be ready to do the same.

In the meantime, he's got to keep on documenting the refusals, including a police report showing that he was there when he was supposed to be & that his parenting time was refused.

While I agree with you that a father's role is just as important as a mother's. It doesn't really sound like your stepdaughter is *learning* anything in these stubborn encounters with dad that end in forcing her to eat yucky things (or that end in corporal punishment, either). There's got to be a way to treat her with respect as an individual, learn *how* she learns, gain her respect and then *teach* her.

Answer 4

If she goes against a court order, she can be found in contempt of court and be fined or jailed.

However, if you go back to court to force the mom to let dad see the kid, she is going to claim that dad was abusive or that his actions were harshly punitive and argue that dad should not be allowed to have unsupervised visitation. At least I would, if I were mom's attorney. :)

Answer 5

He has to document it and go back to family court. However she can lose joint custody. So she needs to be careful. They can award full custody for her breech of contract. Or they can order police escorts for each transition.

However I'd watch your fiance b/c she needs to back off. This is not her child and she has absolutely no right to punish/discipline at all. Seriously, none. And if you take your wife back to family court, be careful b/c she might be documenting your visits and you might lose joint for allowing your fiance to discipline and be abusive.

Answer 6

What he did was child abuse. He's lucky his ex didn't call CPS. I hope the court hears of this, believes it, and changes the visitation.