Hi, I'm 17 and me and my boyfriend (whom I really, really trust) are both virgins and we would like to have sex, we both think that sex is something quite intimate and special to share with someone, especially for the first time.
So, I want to tell my mom that I want to have sex (but that will be next summer), that I want her to know and that I want to be safe...would she like to know that kind of thing, how would she react, and most importantly how should I tell her?
Only serious answers please, and nothing like "you're too young" stuff...
Thank you so much in advance:)
2007-07-26 12:19:21 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thats a hard question to answer because I don't know your Mother and how she would react. I would appreaciate it if my daughter is open and honest with me when the time comes. My son thats 17 recently told me that him and his girlfriend were having sex, and he just came out and said it like it was no big deal, so thats how I responded, like it was no big deal and gave him some advice on safe sex and I'm too young to be a grandma speech. good luck
2007-07-26 12:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by pooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all congrats on being 17 and still a virgin....that is an accomplishment in today's world. Secondly I am a little confused....you are going to have sex but not until next summer????? .....well anyway no matter when you decide to have sex it does not matter how much you trust your boyfriend, first thing is first, use protection. Telling your mom is only up to you. It depends how your relationship is with her, how open she is and how protective she is of you. I mean I am not sure what I would do if my daughter actually came up to me to tell me she is going to have sex....I would first be honored that she even had enough respect to tell me. Now you are almost a young adult and at a point where you can make your own decisions......whatever decision you do make think long and hard about...use protection.....make 100% sure that this is the guy you want to loose your virginity too.....have you dated long enough to really know each other......good luck to you!!!
2007-07-26 22:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you do not want to hear the "you're too young stuff" I'll lay it on you as if you were an adult.
Sex is not something intimate and special to share with someone. Sex is an act between two people. And to quote the Meriams dictionary: 1a. to increase the sexual appeal of -- often used with up 2b : to arouse the sexual desires of
Making love to your spouse is an intimate experience that should be shared when you plan to spend the rest of your life with this man.
But I'm sure you dont want to hear the responsible way of protecting your body, image and reputation.
You are 17 years old and will be an adult in a year. Just be careful and responsible for your actions.
2007-08-03 15:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I believe in waiting for Marriage before having sex, I know that is not the popular consensus these days.
That said, it seems that the fact of your wanting to talk it over with your Mom indicates you have a close relationship. That is so great.
Talk to her - even if she is shocked at first, she will begin thinking it over. She may totally understand as soon as you tell her and will certainly appreciate you coming to her.
Tell her the straight facts, that you are 17, both virgins, have been together for however long and your relationship is growing into this direction.
Ask for her input, tell her that her opinion and advice are really important to you.
Be sure you ask to be put on Birth Control, even if she is negative.
Explain your concerns that it could happen and you want to be prepared and protected. Tell her you are trying to be mature and realistic.
Good Luck..
2007-08-03 08:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by jbug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about waiting until you are married. Truthfully you are to young I have been there before were I thought I was in love and trusted this guy. And well of course things didn't work out as we planed and I was the same age you were time went by and sex became fun to me. I am now married for 6 1/2 years and have four beautiful children and my oldest is not my husbands I met Hubby when me daughter was 6 months old and although he is GREAT to her I wish she was biologically his. Sex just means a lot more when you are married and both hubby and I wish that we would have lost our virginity to each other . I am not trying to tell you what to do . God intended sex for married couples as a act of worship to him , believe it or not. Please think about this don't just jump right into it and well don't expect mom to be happy that you want to have sex and be safe because well even thought you want to be safe your mom might be hurt by it. She might have a hard time facing the fact that her little girl is growing up. Like I said I am not trying to tell you what to do.I am just talking from experience.
2007-07-26 19:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should talk your Mom about this. Hopefully the two of you have great communication, this will make the delicate subject much easier to talk about. I'm a Mom of 2, 19 & 16 yr old boys, I try to talk to them & ask that they keep me informed. Yes, I do believe your Mom would want to know. She may not take it well but hopefully you both will be mature abut this subject. Personally, if you were my daughter, I'd suggest you wait till your married. But You seem to have given it a lot of thought. Commend your self for holding sex in such high regards. Don't let the boy push you. Take your time & be safe
2007-08-03 15:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by Leggs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you seek answers show that you're are far more mature than most girls you age. i have granddaughter's your age and a little older so i know about it. the tell me most everything, sometimes it is too much as i am from an older generation where things were so much different.
you say you trust him and love him and i will respect that. what i tell my granddaughters is to be aware of the signs. is he jealous, does he want to know who your with and where you go. do you have to inform him. does he get on with his family, these are great indicators of how he will treat you as time goes on.
too many times we ignore the sign proving the old saying 'love is blind'. so just make sure that you are not viewing things from rose colored glasses.
if there are no indications of any of these signs, then speak to you mom when you are sure this is what you are going to do and allow her time to digest it then talk about it.
i am sure that she can be of great help to you if you already have a good relationship.
also, once you have sex, relationships change, it will be hard to know if it will be for the better or worse, sad experience with time tells you this.
2007-07-26 19:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 18 year daughter and I talked with her about safety in relationship; the matter is not only not to be pregnant but all the diseases and infections related. Sex is responsibility and you show it so I think you should talk to her because from your question, it seems you have a good relationship with her. I offered to bring my daughter to the doc but my relationship with her is based on respect, values and esteem; yes you're too young but it is going to happen sooner or later and as a mother I would prefer you safe and well informed.
2007-07-31 15:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I commend you and your boyfriend for being responsible (please be responsible) and if you and your Mom have a reasonable relationship, then she will understand. Please keep in mind that once you give your virginity away, no matter what you have heard, you don't get it back (not even through surgery). So for you and your boyfriend to have discussed this to the extent that you have, if that is what you decide, it will be a memorable experience now whether or not it is a pleasurable one, is another story. Again, you know the relationship you have with your Mother and she should be proud of the young woman she has raised. God Bless.
2007-08-03 06:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your boyfriend are old enough to make that decision.Just be safe ( condoms ) and be truthful to each other.Sex is one of life's experiences...but keep your morals.As for your mother she really doesn't,t need to hear the info,she was once your age.All parents ask .....is that you respect your body and others. Most important we don,t want you making mistakes that will possibly make your life unhappy.Like starting a family to young.Don,t get confused with sex and love.You should feel loved and love someone before you make love to them. Good luck
2007-07-26 19:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by sweetdee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋