i need help dealing with death?

Question

my great grandma has cancer. she doesnt have much longer to live. the cancer she has can not be cured. i dont know how to feel. sha is rather mean she worked for some bad people i dont want to list.

i trulry dont feel anything is this what it is like i never had a death in my family

Answer 1

You can only feel what you feel. So don't beat yourself up or second guess it. I didnt' know one of my grandmothers very well so when she died, I felt very little. And yet, I felt more for a good friend who unexpectedly died.

Death is very specific for everyone, what you go through will be unique to your situation but at the same time sooner or (hopefully) later, everyone will go through having someone they know die. So everyone goes through it in a different way.

I can just recommend talking to your family about her. Certain members may feel a similar way since she wasn't a wonderful person. See what they say.

Answer 2

We all treat the death of a loved one or family friend in different ways,

My father passed away two months ago, and my mother has only a short time to live due to cancer.

It can be hard, but there is plenty help and support.

You may find yourself having to support others within your family during this time, and this can be the hardest part.

Talk to the hospital Chaplin, even if you are not a Christian, they will help and give impartial advice.

No matter what your age, they will help, just ask.

Now for the real hard bit, try and forgive. You will shortly no longer be able to see your great grandma again, and she may want to say sorry to you.

If you don't act now, you will never know. Best to get the truth, good or bad, than never know the truth.

Answer 3

Just because she is your family doesn't mean that you have to love her, and if you don't love her then you won't mourn her. when my granny died, i was sad, but not devistated. Actually, to be honest, I have been sadder at the death of a pet.
I think she deserves your respect as a family member so I wouldn't tell the rest of the family that you don't care,but maybe you could find something positive to say about her if anyone asks.
Anyway - your feelings are your own. There isn't a right or wrong way to feel about any given situation, so what ever you feel, just go with it.

Answer 4

I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling the way you do is she has been 'mean', but try to focus on any good qualities you can remember about her- theree must be some- people are often very different in their work and may not act in a way that they are realy comfortable with because that is the way they have to behave to keep thier job ( remember she is from a different 'time '' than you. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, but i think you will feel better is you have made, possibly, her last months /years better

Answer 5

Anyway you feel is okay even if its nothing at all. Its not for anyone else to judge. However, even if you feel little sadness, remember that those around you might feel a great deal worse so be sensitive to that. My dad died in March this year and my mother still hasn't cried - she says she just doesn't feel that way about it - she didn't enjoy her marriage (it lasted over 50 years) so she didn't want to pretend any feelings - she does understand that my brothers and sister and I are genuinely bereft and we understand that she can't feel that way. Sometimes the grief sneaks up on you too so though you don't feel bad now, you might feel it later. Just be true to your own feelings and pretend nothing.

Answer 6

My pepere (grandfather in french) was a drunk. He beat my memere (grandmother). My dad is scarred for life as is his siblings as they witnessed this. He was a drunk all the way through his life. We only met him once. We still tlaked on the phone for holidays but we mostly stuck to mailing cards ad letters. (But short ones.) When he died i didnt cry. My fathre did.My sister didnt either. But i loved him. I guess becaus eof all he did and he never was really there for em i dont know. I just couldnt. Maybe stick to phone calls or letters and cards. Make her feel better for the time being. She cant go back and change the past so help her to make her short time left here better. When she dies you'll know how you feel. If you feel like crying- cry your heart out- even if ppl say boys cnat sry, they can. So "listen to your heart." <33 best of luck int hese confusing, and hard time. email me if you need further advice or just to talk with someone with a little life experience. : ) <33

Answer 7

It's hard to know how to fee, she's your Grandma so you feel guilty you don't feel worse about it (am I guessing right?) But you have a right to feel as you feel. In the mean time, maybe there are some family members that remember her in a different light, and maybe they can use your support.

Answer 8

Well,...if you were never truly close to her, and your memories of her weren't very nice,..it may not affect you if it like it was your mom or dad say for instance...Death is very final, and there is no turning back, so to say...Always try to be positive with her, to the end...and tell her you love her, even when she is mean and crotchity...she might be angry because of getting cancer, you never know how she feels either...Just try to be kind,...and spend time with her.. you will know how you feel, when the time comes...right now, she is still here, so it really hasn't effected you yet...God bless sweetie,..

Answer 9

I think your problem is that because of who she is, you think that you SHOULD be feeling something, and so feel maybe a tad guilty?
Well don't be, we all grieve differently for a start, there is no right and rong way to mourn a loved one.
But since you appear to not have liked her very much, just go with your feelings and don't let anyone tell you how you SHOULD be feeling......

Answer 10

Everyone reacts differently to the death of a relative. If you were not close to her then it is not out of the ordinary for you not to have any deep emotional reaction to her impending death.