What's the best way to ask your kids' unwelcome friends to stop asking for food?

Question

Not only do they ask for food, they ask for everything! One has even asked me if he can come over for dinner, on more than one evening! Some of them have asked for snacks and others have asked for toys! What are some parents NOT teaching their children in the way of manners these days!!

Answer 1

my mother was a big hearted italian woman that some how managed to feed the entire neighborhood on a civil servants pay. she was the total team mother for all of my friends. she realized that some of these kids might not see a decent meal untill the next time they were at my house. money was often tight so her approach was very simple. she treated all of the kids at the house as if they were her own and started assigning chores and expecting recipricol behavior. it was not uncommon for her to come home and find several young men and women cleaning the house, mowing the lawn or takeing out the trash. cars got fixed, heavy things got liffted.
i attribute this to her hippie back ground and communal mind.

her answer may work for you be loud and put the little buggers to work. the ones that need the food will stick around the ones that are just rude will disappear.
good luck

Answer 2

Some parents are not teaching children manners at all; manily because some parents do not know any manners to teach. However I feel badly if kids ask for food and always give it to them as they may be hungry. As far as asking for toys, I tell them that this isn't the way it works; that their parents provide toys for them and I provide toys for the ones in my family.

Answer 3

This has happened to me too. But, the difference was that my son began bringing needy, unwanted, abused, and/or neglected kids to our home as soon as he started going to kindergarten. I understood because I began doing that same thing around the age of 6 too. We still have soft hearts for needy, unwanted children.

You're not the only one who doesn't want those children around. If their parents cared about them, they would be home with them, instead of trying to get love from you.

Don't worry though. You are not alone. Many people couldn't care less about other peoples' children. Also, there are many parents who don't teach manners to their children because they never learned any themselves.

Maybe you could lovingly, gently, and patiently teach these children what you wish their parents would teach them. It is good for you to have boundaries though. Write down what they are & consistently enforce them. . . . . in a gentle, calm way. This way you won't be guilty of giving them more of the same rejection that their own parents are giving them. Boundaries ~ they can only come over on certain days & at certain times, etc.

Your wise input will have a positive influence on their lives, and they will remember you when they grow up as one of the only people who reached out to them & showed them what love really means.

Answer 4

You would be surprised by the number of children that are really going hungry because their parents can't afford to feed them, use their money for drugs, gambling, alcohol, or just simply waste it, or they are too proud to ask for food stamps or any kind of assistance and cutting food costs is the only way they can keep their homes.

Someone else suggested you teaching the children manners and that's a good idea, but please try to familiarize yourself with their home situation before denying them food.

Answer 5

You need to talk to your son regarding this subject. Tell him the days and times his friends come over. You have to have some control over this, because it can get out of hand. I just recently had this conversation with my son and I don't mind if they come over after supper at least every second or third day. I told him I can't afford to feed and buy drinks for your friends everyday. Once in awhile I don't mind. You just have to set some rules that will help control the situation. I told him they have to leave by supper and I make him tell them. If they want to come back after supper they can, but only until this time. The odd time I will invite them, but it is my choice not theirs.. If you don't set some rules than things will never change. It is the summer time and they are not in school. I know if I didn't set these rules they would be there from morning until night and I would be at the grocery store everyday.

Answer 6

sometimes you have to step in and keep the world's children from becoming a bunch or rude, inconsiderate imps. try to teach these kids in a half-hearted manner that asking for food and other things is rude. we should not have to teach other peoples' kids manners, but you could make this kids life a lot better.

Answer 7

What's up with this? I remember my son's first friend raided our pantry (he was 5) I was taken back - and lots of kids say "I am hungry" I said to my kids "do you act like this at their house"
I think it's just curious (as their parents don't let them snack)
I always try to feed our kids before they are at a house -
and hope if snacks are offered they appreciate it. I only expect a family to feed my kid if it's a sleep over type thing.

I joke and say "oh you have to be invited for dinner at our house" and I'd say it's not snack time sorry.

Answer 8

i'm guessing they're young since they're asking for toys. we had a boy in our neighborhood a lot like that. the more i saw him the more i knew. his folks were worthless. doing drugs and stuff. he hadn't had a decent meal in i don't know how long. the kids wound up getting taken away from the parents.thank god.
if you don't think this is the case with your kids friends, just tell them it isn't polite to ask for things. sure a drink of water is fine but when they start looking for whatever they can get, you have to put a stop to it. you could also tell your kids to tell them.i've done that too,.

Answer 9

tell the child that you aren't comfortable feeding them, since you haven't spoken to his/her parents about allowing them to eat at your home. They when you do speak to the parents, let them know that the child is always asking for food, and ask if they could send a snack along with the child when he/she visits your home, and always be sure to send a snack when your child visits another friend's home. Encourage your child to eat his/her own snack and not ask for food when they are at someone else's home.

Answer 10

Sounds like you've inheireted the "needy" bunch. Start charging; make up a poster with your prices for various food items. Be sure to include that there is "no credit" given and that "dirty looks" are still "free."