How do you deal with bridezilla and her sister??????

Question

OK, this is going to be sort of a long explanation/question... I need peoples opinions tho.

So I'm in my best friends wedding. We have a trip planned to go to Vegas. I set a strategic budget for myself months ago to make sure I could pay for things as they came up. At the time I lived in an apartment with a bf, who I've broken up with since. Afterwards I used the money I would have paid for the apartment with to pay for a motorcycle for myself.

In the past month I have incurred MORE bills that were unforseen like medical, dental and school..... which has REALLY put a strain on my finances (NOT the bike... because whether it was a bike or an apartment that money was being used for something.) .... but the EXTRA stuff such as medical etc........

SO..... getting to the point.... I was asked a day or so ago if I could help chip in for some MORE gifts for the party in Vegas, which I lamented about (basically told the Maid of honor/sister I was broke).... She in turn

told me I was an idiot for buying a motorcycle since I "knew I was in a wedding and I should have saved the money"....... but if I was still living in the apartment the money would have gone to THAT, so either way, THAT money was part of my "extra money" for weddings and what not.

So I retorted and tried to make that point, that the BIKE is not why I'm broke, that it was OTHER stuff that had piled on in the past month, but they would not leave that issue alone. SO NOW, I have them calling me a selfish ***** because according to them "it's all about me me me" and I tried to START this fight to get out of the wedding........ I never tried to start any fight..... I merely tried to explain to them that I have incurred other expenses BESIDES a bike that have put a strain on me, and they wouldn't listen.......

So now I sit here, being insulted by both, being criticized by both and I'm being called a selfish ***** and am being told that I'm no longer invited to Vegas. IS THIS FAIR???

OH..... and her parents are LOADED, while I come from middle class...... I DON'T have mommy and daddy paying for everything the way they do.........

HOW do I deal with people like this?????

Answer 1

You are no longer invited. GREAT !

No more getting yelled at or dealing with any of them.

Good riddance.

What a mess.
You do not have to take that kind of treatment.

Answer 2

You are not in the wrong at all!! They're wrong for being selfish and not hearing you out on everything. Like you said, that money would have been used one way or the other. It was things that were unforseeable at the time that skyrocketed. They really don't sound like the type of people I would want to be friends with. If you still had your apartment, would they have complained that you spent money putting roof over your head instead of on her wedding? I feel sorry that they are so rude. Just go to the wedding and then you don't ever have to talk to them again, since it's probably too late to back out now. Good luck, and hopefully the come to their senses and realize how selfish they are being in this whole thing.

Answer 3

As motorcycle family owners myself, when you have bills to pay: medical, school etc, The bike is not important. As I understand owning a bike is amazing, but keeping up with bills is responsibility. but this has nothing to do with the wedding as I believe they are being selfish and rude.

My mom had to sell her 2001 FXD Dyna last year to pay off some stuff. She is looking for a Heritage next year, but only if she has that "extra money" AFTER putting some away for savings (such as medical, insurance etc). Which you should of done no matter if there was a wedding or not. It is always a good idea to have a few hundred stored away as "emergency only" money. In this case, a few thousand if you paid into the thousands for a new (sometimes old) bike.

But to be expected (as I am getting a feeling) to sell your bike to pay for the rest of vegas is pethedic. I would stick to your guns about seperating your hobbie v.s a special event you already forked into.

You need to talk to the bride in person, alone and discuss the situation. Possibly it is everyone else feeding the bride all this gossip. She needs to hear it from you. calm, collected and possibly great over a treat to lunch. The only person who can invite and un-invite is the bride/groom. The bridal party can not.

If you already chip in money for gifts, have your hotel set up, vehicle set up and some decorations, then you should not have to fork out more money based on what they want to add more to what you already agreed to do. I think it is wrong of people to say "Oh, she should have that" on top of everything else, but expect everyone to pitch in.

If you are no longer invited, I think in my personal opinion, you should get your money back, still go to vegas or consider it all a "gift".

It is wrong to not invite you just because you don't want to chip in MORE than you already have. yes you have a bike, but we all are welcomed to our own hobbies and shouldn't fork out more money than we already have on a special event.

Answer 4

First off I dont accept name calling. If you start calling me names, the conversation is over and I dont sit around to listen to it. You have answered that you couldn't afford it and when name calling started, the conversation is over. If they chose to kick you out of the wedding b/c you can't afford additional fun in vegas....well be grateful and then you can save all that vegas money.

Honestly medical needs aren't trivial. We aren't talking about you buying a couple new dresses or some DVDs--this is critical and a really really large expense.

If you can't chip in for extra gifts in Vegas just explain that and stick to your guns. After all it is ridiculous for you to go into debt for a friends wedding.

Above all don't fight with these people. You need to remain calm and assertive. Explain the situation clear and concise manner and thats it. They want to fight, you leave. After all, there really is nothing to fight over. See this are not "our" finances. These are your finances. So there is no discussion on how much you spend and what you spend it on. There is merely a one word answer "no". You can chose to explain that you cannot afford extras, but remember this has no room for negotiation and they don't have the ability to bully you into changing your mind.

Answer 5

It sounds like they have uninvited you, and if I were you I would get any money contributed back. If you already purchased your dress, I would check the return policy or sell it and be done.

It's probably a blessing in disguise because if they are acting liek that now why would you want to go to Vegas with them. The trip would probably be miserable.

If you would like to remain friends, then I would suggest to try and discuss the issue with them calmly. They obviously are not understanding or listening to your situation. I do agree that the name calling is over the line, and I would not put up with that.

Whether you decide to participate or not I really hope things work out for you. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think they are spoiled and selfish. It's none of their business how you spend your money. The maid of honor is the person that should be paying for the additioinal gifts. Bottome line get new friends. I know easier said then done, but they don't sound like people I'd wanna be around for very long.

Answer 7

First of all they don't sound like good friends. I would pull out of the wedding and let them deal with it. Seriously. If those were medical expenses they should be sympathetic towards you for having something medically wrong with you... People that are used to getting everything they want never change.

Answer 8

I would tell them to stick their snooty wedding up their clackers and walk out. You dont need the extra stress or the expense. Being a maid of honor does not mean you have to break the bank to pay for her day.

Answer 9

Wow. Bottom line, it's not any of her business if you buy a motorcycle, and you shouldn't have to give up something for yourself to fork out money for her wedding. Now you've been uninvited, so I would just ask my for money back personally.

Answer 10

She doesn't need to insult you like that. State that you are financially strained right now with medical and school bills and will be unable to help out at this time. It is really sad that they do not understand that with medical and school bills it actually IS about you, but those bills are far more important than ONE party.