Death of my father. Am I strange?

Question

My dad died suddenly in his sleep about 7 weeks ago.

I'm beginning to get out of the "funk" that I've been in finally.

But everytime I see a picture of him it brings back memories and makes me sad.

I'd rather forget and move on. Is this normal or am I strange?

I'd rather not be reminded of him. Because that just makes me sad and makes me cry.

I know everyone handles death differently, but most people I know of have pictures of their loved one in the house or at work. I'd rather not be reminded of him being gone.

Am I still in denial?

Answer 1

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross defined the stages of grieving as:
1. Denial.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.

You do not always progress through these stages in order. You may move forward and backward; you may skip one, then experience it later. It does not matter what stage you are in.

Right now you have an open wound--the loss of your father. You are not yet ready to look at that open wound (i.e., see pictures of him). After that wound has healed, you will still have pain but you will be able to remember him and look at photos of him without that raw sadness and sense of loss.

How long will this take? There is no timeline! Some people take days, months, years, decades. Do not let others tell you how to grieve. Grieving is a highly individualized process.

If YOU are concerned that your grieving is unhealthy (don't let others tell you that you're not doing it right), talk to a counselor. Look in the yellow pages; call a hotline.

I am sorry for the loss of your father. My own father died at age 53, almost 16 years ago. It still hurts.

Answer 2

Yes, you are trying to block out something very painful in your life right now...It has been twelve years since I lost my darling,..and I can still cry in a wink of an eye over him...we only have one pappa, and you need to mourn, and mourn, and not be made to feel ashamed that you loved him so much...seven weeks is so new, and fresh...you will always have him with you...so cry and cry..he would do the same for you if he lost you...Cry Cry Cry, and when you finally feel that you can laugh some day, and believe me, it took me a long time, to realize, that daddy would have wanted me to laugh...but that was just the way it was...you could end up having a nervous breakdown,if you chose to try to bury his memory...you are only human like the rest of us...you will know when you have really cried enough...God Bless you sweetie....I really feel for you..

Answer 3

I don't think I would call it "denial". Obviously you have accepted the fact that your father has passed away. You are grieving and that is normal. You never "heal" from the loss of a loved one. Remember a scar that replaces slashed skin is still a scar. In time a numbness replaces the pain but you are still forever changed.

Answer 4

No...you're just mourning in your own personal way. The only thing that makes stuff like that easier is time. Eventually you'll be able to look at pics and such...but 7 weeks is a short time and it sounds like you're still really hurting.

Answer 5

I lost my wife in 99 and my day dad in 02. You're not strange and you're not alone. Everyone grieves differently and in their own time. You'll always miss him but eventually you'll look at pictures with fond memories. I'd be happy to talk to you if you wanted to e-mail. Good luck...

Answer 6

this is normal. you are just confused. I think the best thing to do is talk to someone about it. let out all your emotions, talk about the memories. Even though it makes you sad, it helps you move on. I am very sorry for your loss.