What is making my two and a half year old boy to act so defiant?

Question

Just recently my son has been acting just terrible. I mean running around destroting everything. Ill be cleaning up one mess andhe will be making another one right behind it. and when i say mess its not a few toys on the ground, oh no, its big time. when i say no to him he cries when i have had to spank him on the butt for hitting his sister ,he hits me back. i cant take him anywherebecause he is a total nightmare, what to do????

Answer 1

He's entering the stage where he's really learning that he can affect the world via his own actions. The most important thing is that you choose a consistent discipline philosophy appropriate to his age.

I recommend the typical "time out" method. When he misbehaves, you tell him to stop. If he continues, put him in time out for two minutes (one minute per year). Explain what he did wrong, and what you expect of him. Make the expectations positive (be gentle with your sister) rather than negative (don't hit your sister). Then start the timer.

You don't use physical punishment unless he violates the time out. If he does so, one attention-level (not painful) correction is plenty. Put him back in time out and restart the timer. Repeat as often as necessary.

It's important to have one, dedicated time out spot for this. Training him to this method can take a couple of days, but the long-term effects are generally well worth the efforts. He will have good days, he will sometimes backslide. After the time out, if he's cognizant enough at his age, have him describe what he chose to do wrong, and what would be a better choice in the future. Give him a hug for learning, and help him figure out what to do next (play quietly, hug sister, etc.).

Answer 2

Yes, he's 2, but he shouldn't be making your life miserable. I've found that kids definitely respond to how you are acting too. My almost 3 year old can be veeeeerrrry difficult sometimes, but it's usually when she's hungry or tired. Patience is the best thing in the world (I do a lot of sighing) and I agree that time out can be wonderful. One thing I read is that kids up to age 4 don't have any impulse control, meaning they know they shouldn't do something but they can't control it! That made me sooooo much more patient because if she can't control it, there isn't much we can do. I find myself repeating things over and over so that she might understand what I'm saying. Good luck!

Answer 3

If he hits you, spank him right then. Punishment for such behavior is key. For making the mess, he should help pick it up or take away some of his favorite things. And stick to it! Don't ever let the child take control. Right now, he is testing his boundaries and your resolve. You have to be tough. And take him places. If he acts up, spank him and tell him you are not leaving and if he throws a fit he will get a spanking when you get home. That gives him time to think about his behavior and what is in store if he doesn't act right. Good luck.

Answer 4

thats about normal for a 2 1/2 year old. you can use an ultimatum, tell him if he hits his sister again he will be in his room for a 20 minutes, without toys, or something similar. spank him for hitting you. or, grab his arm.

Answer 5

Try something besides spankings for punishment. Go by offense. (time out, separation, corner, take toys away)
He's hitting you because he's learned by getting spankings that hitting is okay.
Other than that, just don't let him see that it's bothering you. He craves your reactions, good or bad.

Answer 6

What makes him like that? Two things:

He's a BOY and
He's TWO years old.

He'll out grow it, just keep showing him the repercussions of his actions.

Answer 7

Welcome to the terrible twos. Hang in there mom and and stick to your ground! Time out is a wonderful thing.